Computers are a pain, sometimes. Okay...maybe even more then sometimes.
Right now I want to kick my desktop computer. For some unknown reason it won't load internet pages. It is connected to the internet, but that is it. It's like it is connected but can't fully communicate with the internet or something. I don't know...all I do know is it is flippin' annoying.
So, at the moment I'm using the laptop and giving my computer the silent treatment. That'll teach it!
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I'm so proud of Cassie. Today I took the girls to school as I was going to keep Cassie home this morning because she had an appointment, but decided to sent her for that hour and then pick her up. Upon getting in the car, I realized that we didn't have her wheelchair. Instead, her chair was in Andy's car. At his work. On the west side of town. UGH!
I dropped the girls at school, came home to take a quick shower, ran across town to get chair, came back across town to the school, and then took Cassie to her appointment. I asked her if she wanted to try without the wheelchair for the day or if she wanted it and she said that she wanted to go without it. I was so impressed that she made the decision to try without it. And I have to say that when she came home today and asked if she could take the chair tomorrow because she has gym, but on Wednesday she doesn't want to take it again, I could have burst with pride. She is making these decisions on her own and whether she knows it all she is becoming more independence and building up those muscles and therefore her endurance. Have I mentioned how proud of her I am? I kinda want to come up with some sort of reward for her doing this on her own, but I don't know what I would do.
She has grown up so much in the past few weeks that I find myself looking at her in awe. Where did my baby go? And who is this pre-teen?
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On Wednesday, the 21st, Cassie and Kalli will be having their Marathon of Knowledge at school. This is a major fundraiser for the school and consists of the kids each memorizing 100 grade appropriate questions. The girls work on getting donations that are collected after the marathon day. As this is our first year doing this, we've really sucked at the getting donations part. Therefore, "Hi...Cassie and Kalli are participating in a Marathon of Knowledge this year where they help to raise money for the school by increasing their knowledge by memorizing 100 questions. Would you care to donate anything? You can either contribute a flat amount or by how many questions the girls get correct. Money is not collected until after Wednesday but is due by April 30th." Let me know if you are interested in donating, but have not done so. This happens to be the largest fund raiser for the school so it is fun. All the kids in the school receive a t-shirt and get to eat in their classrooms or, if weather permits, outside.
I will be spending Marathon day at the school quizzing the kids. Sound like fun?? Yeah, I get breaks as they are needed though and food is provided, so it isn't so rough. :)
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Update on Cassie's birthday party: As of this moment I have 2 calls that have said they will be here for both parts. Some of the kids told Cassie they are coming, but I don't have a phone call verifying that yet. And as of today, absolutely no one has said that they can't make it.
Tuesday
April 19, 2010
Sunday
Burning the place down
Tonight we had my brother-in-law and sister-in-law over for dinner and to visit. We decided to keep it very simple and had burgers and hotdogs with chips, salsa, and jalapeno cheese dip. It was a simple yet good meal. Especially with the nicer weather we've been having.
So Andy starts the grill, get's the burgers, unwraps them and goes out to put them on the grill. He then comes back into the house and from out in the garage where I was talking with my sister-in-law I hear him say, "what the hey!" I ignore it figuring one of the cats was on the table or something.
A little while Andy calls me into the house and says as I come in, "don't be mad and don't kill me." I always love when those words are spoken as you know it isn't going to be a good thing. I look at the stove to see ash and burnt paper all over. "What on Earth?" I ask.
It ends up that when he took the freezer paper off the burgers he tossed it onto the stove. Where I was burning a pretty smelling candle. When Andy walked back into the house there was fire happening on the stove. He got it out and then once things were controlled called me in.
I didn't freak. Instead I asked him why it was that he was trying to burn down my home and I told him that I really like it here. I also gave him a hard time about how he should know by his age not to put things over open flame. Mind you, there was nothing around the stove that would have caught on fire from something like paper as it doesn't burn a high flame or very hot, still though....it is the idea that it happened. It was a simple mistake, but reminds you of how careful you have to be with where you put things. And how it is a good thing we now have renters' insurance.
I will not stop burning candles as I do it safely...I will just have to keep the love of my life away from them. I'm sure he won't mind as that means he will have to stay out of the kitchen.
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Friday at school, Kalli got hurt. I was volunteering in the library so they came to get me to 'kiss her boo'. She was playing with Cassie and her friend. Cassie's friend was on the monkey bars and Kalli got a little too close to her. Kalli got kicked in the face and fell onto the woodchips. Her face was sore and scratched up, but otherwise she was fine. This is until I took her with me to the library until recess was over. Once she was away from everyone and just with me she lost it. She cried into my shoulder while I told her that she was okay, that I knew it hurt, and all those soothing things you say to your children to calm them.
After a bit she was better and I walked her to her class with ice pack in tow. Everyone in her class asked her what happened and were concerned about her. By the time the day was over, she was sore, but otherwise was back to normal.
The next day I took this picture of her face.
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This weekend was taken up by pricing for upcoming rummage sales and also by going through everything in my home sorting and organizing asking "what can I get rid of?" I want organization. I want the 'junk' gone. I want a home...not a storage facility. I want to be able to find things without searching. And I want to be rid of CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Sydrome) I want to be able to have people call and say we're on our way...or just show up...without freaking as I look around and have everyone pitch in to straighten things some.
Not that the place is that bad. Mainly just lived in, but it is enough to make the OCD part of me want to up and move. I am constantly cleaning...straightening and sorting, dusting and doing dishes, and the one thing that I'll never be able to be rid of....vacuuming. I seriously, vacuum the kitchen and living room at least 3-4 times a day. Anytime I see something on the floor I have to vacuum the whole room. And the saddest part is that I'm not exaggerating at all. My vacuum almost never is unplugged and one of the only times it is unplugged is to move to a different floor to vacuum.
Now mind you, I don't vacuum the bedrooms and basement this much. Thank goodness! But the rooms that I see the most and live in...(sigh) I can't help it. I worry about how it looks when I see something on the floor. I worry about Cassie's allergies. I worry about all the dirt that must be tracked into the house. I worry about how cluttered the room is. And yes, I am a worry-wart and I do worry about being a worry-wart as well.
All this to say that I'm keeping busy and that I'm very tired. On that note...and the fact that it is 2am...I'm going to bed.
Friday
Taking Care of Paula
Tonight I am taking care of me.
Tonight both the girls are gone sleeping over places. Earlier I cleaned the entire living room, including moving the couch out and vacuuming the couch. I then headed upstairs and cleaned the bathroom before taking a shower.
I just came downstairs and was going to start on the kitchen when I thought... "screw it! I deserve a night off." I made a bowl of popcorn grabbed my last wine cooler and sat down here to play some games and to blog.
I looked over at Andy, who is playing Xbox online as he does every Friday, and he looked at me. I nodded at my popcorn and beverage and said, "I'm taking care of me." He nodded and said that it was good that I do it.
My psychologist would be proud. She is always telling me to take time for me and to allow myself to do nothing. And for the most part, I can't. Tonight though, I decided to just stop and sit... (Not that it is easy to do) and allow myself a break.
Cassie informed me today that it is 11 days until her party. She isn't excited at all. Seriously...I only think the ENTIRE school knows about her party. And I'm more then likely not over exaggerating that much.
Yesterday (the day handed out the invites) evening I received the first RSVP. One girl coming and staying overnight. Then today, Cassie comes home from school and informs me that 4 more girls are coming, but one can't stay overnight. Alright...we are up to 5 for the makeover now and 4 for the overnight. And, again I'll say it, the invites were given out yesterday. I did tell Cassie, though, to have the girls call me, or have a parent call me to make it official.
Have I mentioned the fact that I'm a little scared? Only one no go for sleepover so far. I know that a lot can happen yet, but the nerves are beginning to twitch. I think I may have been under the influence of drugs when I made this decision. Some really strong drugs. So...at the worst, I will have 11 girls, plus my own here for the makeover and then 10 girls, plus Cassie, for the overnight. How bad could it be??
Someone catch me...I'm feeling light-headed.
Thursday
Story Time
Today was an absolutely beautiful day. I decided to get out, soak up some of that wonderful vitamin D, and enjoy the warmth. I feel like I could have just sat in a reclined chair with my face towards the sun letting the rays warm my insides. I now understand why flowers and plants always grow towards the sun.
The winter seems to leave me cold and dark on the inside. When the sun finally decides to stay out and the temperatures rise, I feel like I go outside and you could almost see me soaking in the sun. It warms my insides, thaws me, and makes me feel calm and more relaxed. I'll probably never leave Wisconsin...this is where I was born and I'm not the type of person to up and move, however...I will never like the winters. The cold, snow, wind, and the length of it all. It would probably be healthier for me if I were to move somewhere where the sun was out a bit more, but it'll probably never happen. And if it does I have to wait for my parents to retire so they can move with us. My parents would never let us go with the girls, the girls would be heartbroken not being able to see grandma and grandpa every weekend, and let's just say it....I need my mom close by. My dad too, of course, but when I need to vent or someone to lean on...it's my mom.
I remember when Andy and I first got married, there would be times that I would be having a rough time and Andy would bring me over to my parents' house and you could almost see him handing me over to my mom as if to say, "she is broken, please fix her". He didn't know what to do to help so he did what he did know. And that was that when I am in crisis mode, I need my mommy. :) It is a good lesson for many men around the world to learn.
But back to the subject on which I was going to write this post...
Sunny, warm day. Beautiful out. Enjoy weather and soak up vitamin D. Caught up? Alright.
I decided that I would take Brady for a walk so I loaded him up in my stroller and we were off.
I didn't have any destination in mind when we left, I just walked. After a while I noticed that we were getting closer to the park so that became our destination. And here is where our little story begins.
I of course had my camera with me. Would I be me if I didn't??
I took some pictures of Brady sitting on some things and some things he was wondering about. No worries mommy and daddy...We just posed for pictures. We didn't do any firsts. We are leaving that for you.
Brady sitting on the bottom of a tube slide.Wondering at what point he can slide down it into his mommy's arms.
Just sitting in the swing. I made sure not to swing it at all.Brady is wondering when he can get his first under-duck.
I didn't even try to get him to sit on this...say hello to my no broken baby policy. Brady is wondering what these levers with the fulcrum in the middle are. And when daddy will help him work it. 
Brady can't wait to try to shoot some hoops. First he has to learn to spell horse.
Brady is wondering... 1. what is this stuff and how can I get it to my mouth to taste it?? 2. Can I play t-ball some day?
Brady wonders about climbing this. Yeah...even I cringe at that idea. No broken babies please.
Photo-shoot continues at home. We practiced sitting....
Tummy time...AND holding something. We've come a long way baby!
Little Monkey toes... He kept opening and closing his toes and playing with the opposite foot.
I'm so enamored with this little boy. And those eyes!Wednesday
You said you wanted me to post more...
I have a few problems. And I'm coming to you, my adoring fans...er...fan, for your input. If not....hey, I should be able to at least make you laugh...on my behalf of course. Now where to start.
Let's start off with something more simple. Last night I went in for a Sleep Study to attempt to find out why on Earth it is that I'm so unbelievably exhausted. Ya know...like the fact that I can't keep my eyes from wanting to shut and stay shut when driving a little distance. For some reason other drivers don't care for it when you try to drive with your eyes shut. Also: people within the vehicle you are driving don't really like it also. It makes them nervous. Darn pansies.
So I went for my study and I slept. I woke up a few times to move some, and it did take me a while to fall asleep. HELLO...not the easiest to fall asleep when you are this wired.
This morning they woke me (side note: one will wake faster and be more alert then normal when being waken by a stranger in your not-normal setting. Good Morning Nurse Lady!) and told me that I have Sleep Apnea and will have to come back another night to sleep with a CPAP on to find out what pressure works for me. Yeah...that was a lot of words to get the idea across that I will be going back to sleep in not-my-bed at not-my-home with a scuba diving type mask on forcing air into me. (And I'm now wondering why is it no one has ever inflated and floated away while hooked up to a CPAP...I'm imagining a cartoon of someone floating against the ceiling with the tubing tethering them to the machine. Spouse in the room, looking up..."uh...honey?")
But I digress. All this is to say that I do have Sleep Apnea (in the first 1/2 of my study I stopped breathing every 9 minutes, on average. Cool, eh? Also: Never before did I study for sleeping. Maybe that is why babies don't sleep through the night at first...they are studying how to. Yeah yeah...bad humor. It's 11:48 at night, give me a break.) In a couple weeks I will go back and then work on getting my own CPAP for here at home. I'm hoping to then dream of scuba diving in some beautiful reef and waking up refreshed. Hey, a girl can hope.
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I'm going to once again try to prove that I'm either completely crazy or an awesome mom. At the end of this month I have invited all 11, you read that right...eleven, girls from Cassie's class to come to Cassie's VERY LATE birthday party.
A friend of mine, who is actually a Mary Kaye consultant, and I will be giving the girls mini facials and teaching them a little about skin care. The girls will then be able to put a little age appropriate make up on (aka lip gloss and light shimmering eye shadow) Yup...keeping things age appropriate...no making these girls look like hoochies here. I've also asked my almost sister-in-law to come help do mini-manicures too. Alright, so we are just painting nails...I can make believe if the kids can.
Then, just to test my sanity, I've invited all 11 of these girls to spend the night here. At my home. Where I will be.
Andy has already told me he doesn't care what I do because he will be playing his Xbox all night. That is 'man' for "you're on your own toots!" I figure there is a very low chance that all the girls will be able to come and stay over anyway. Of course, with my luck...
Please stay open that night if I need to be rescued. Thank you :)
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I love Kalli. Really I do. She is so unbelievably sweet. She is gorgeous and very smart. She is very attached to me...maybe too much at times, but that is ok. She is my baby after all.
Kalli is also hilarious. I mean shaking your head laughing hilarious, at times. Most of the time she doesn't even try to be funny. She is just showing you something or telling you something and after you laugh she will blush and try to hide some.
Tonight, I'm sitting with Cassie, checking her teeth after she brushes them and Kalli comes in by us ready for bed (in long shirt) and says, "I can give myself a wedgie. Look...". And then she does. She pulls up on her underwear until it is seated just inside her seat and then she says proudly, "see...".
Now I'm not sure, but when did this become a talent? I just laughed and shook my head and said wow. Cassie looked at me as if to say that her sister was nuts and continued with her teeth. I told Kalli to go show her daddy what she could do and she blushed and hid. I only wish these were the moments that I could get on video because seriously...this is blackmail material in the making!!
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I don't know what to do about this next one. The girls had 'Spring Pictures' at school a few weeks ago. I think that it is silly that they are now taking pictures two times a year and trying to get parents to buy more. I mean hello, 1 sheet (8x10, 2 3x5s, OR a sheet of wallets) is $12. RIDICULOUS!
Well, that is until the pictures came home. See, they send the pics home, you keep what you want, send back any you don't want, and any money for those you've kept. The pictures that came home of my children are breath-taking. I think that they are beautiful. And I'm going to have a very hard time sending them back.
See what I mean?? And then I put the girls' beginning of the year next to the recent ones and...WOW! They have changed so much in just 6 months. Where did my little girls go??
Agreed? I just look at those pictures and am stunned. There are no words....
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Okay, a couple last pictures of things. No long story to go along with them really, I just liked them so there you go :)
Brady wanted to be carried the other day so I put him front facing in the carrier I have. He loved it and I got things done.
I brought some fake flowers from the dollar store the other day to make a little seasonal bouquet here at home. Here is what I made up. Nothing super, but I like it. And it adds color to my kitchen. Besides....they make me smile when I am doing dishes.
Monday
My Perfect Mascot
Things have been a little crazy around here. I'm finding that I'm overwhelmed and am trying to slowly work on that. I've been trying to take a little time for myself lately and concentrating on taking better care of myself. This is something that I've neglected severely until recently. And now I find myself trying to find things to do that are more for me, but not without guilt. For example: one of the smaller things, we've been trying hard to stay home on Sundays as a family and spend time doing what "we" want to do. Of course I do feel guilty about this because I feel that I'm letting others down by not being there for them or doing things for others. And this is just a small example.
My therapist and I have been talking about my guilt issues and how I have to put myself first, but I have a hard time because I don't want to be selfish. And somehow my brain has programmed itself to think anytime I'm doing anything for myself, I'm being selfish. I want to be self-less. I want to give til it hurts.
Only problem is that I'm at the point where it is hurting. Hence the fact that I'm trying to take care of me. (sigh) But is most definitely not easy.
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Let's add to this the fact that the medicines that I'm on have been being shifted around and changes some so my body is messed up to say the least. Again...an example.
- 7-730am: Wake up
- 830am: Kids onto bus
- 9-10am: OMG I'm tired
- 10am-2pm: get stuff done, supper started, etc
- 2-4pm: OMG why on Earth am I so tired
- 4-8pm: get some stuff done, eat supper, help kids with stuff
- 8-830pm: WOO HOO I'm awake. Who wants to clean? Anyone wanna go for a walk outside? How about we reorganize the pantry? (This is the point at which Andy looks at me like I'm out of my mind and goes to bed - well at about 9/930pm)
- 830pm-12/1am: I clean, I play on the computer, I try to get rid of this WIDE AWAKE feeling. It doesn't stop until around 1 in the morning.
- 1am-ish: Lay down in bed and pass out
- 7-730am: rinse and repeat
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This past Sunday we had Easter Lunch with Andy's side of the family. His aunt took us all to Legends for their buffet and I have to say that it was pretty darn delicious. After we ate, I took the girls and my niece, Kyra, out to take some pictures. I would have taken Kaitlynn with, however, she was busy running around and enjoying herself. I managed to get some pictures of her later when she was sitting still for about 2 minutes. :)
First off we have Cassie. She is up a tree without a paddle. There was some beautiful trees around the restaurant so I took full advantage of them. Cassie is a little nervous without her feet on the ground, but smiled for me anyhow.
Then there is Kalli. She is a monkey at heart and loved when I lifted her up into the crevice of the tree. She stood there like a queen looking down at her subjects.
At a different tree we stopped and I got some pictures of the three girls together. I love that even with how different they all look, you can see that they are related. Cousins til the end. :)
Then I took a few of Kyra alone. She is turning into such a beautiful young lady. I honestly am not a fan of how grown up she is starting to look, but not much anyone can do about that. However, she still comes and sits on my lap to cuddle, so that is all that matters. Look at that picture...can you say senior picture??
Then there is my little peanut girl. Kaitlynn did sit still every now and then, but for the most part she was on the move. It is hard to keep a 15 month old down. She too is getting so big. I am not sure when that happened because I was there the day she was born...and I'm pretty sure that was just last week.
It was a nice day spent with family and visiting some. Afterwards, Andy and the girls dropped me at home so I could have some alone time and they headed over to his brother's house so that the cousins could play some more.
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As you know I fell a couple weeks back and ended up getting 10 stitches in my knee and an air cast on my opposite ankle. (and that isn't to mention the tetanus shot...ouch, hurts to think about it)
Stitches are out now and things are feeling much better. I purchased a more low-file brace for my ankle and I wear it if I am going to be doing a lot of stairs at home or if I'm going out anywhere. I will slowly stop wearing it at home and then probably will stop wearing it when just going to store or anything. Whenever I have to do a lot of walking on uneven ground though, you can bet it will be on my foot.
Miss Becky, got me a little something the other day and it fits me perfectly. Meet Mr Bump...
Becky says that he is perfect for me because I am always hurting myself. Which is very true. Mr Bump now lives right in front of my computer monitor to keep me company. We spend lots of time together, Mr Bump and me, because we have a lot in common. We both get hurt quite often. He is my perfect mascot. now if only he had a little camera hanging around his neck. Maybe I'll have to look through the girls' barbies or try to come up with something. Thank you Becky :)
Wednesday
April 7, 2010
Today was a very interesting day.
Andy took the day off because Cassie and I had to go down to Milwaukee. I drove the 2+ hours there, had an appointment for about 3 hours, and then drove the 2+ hours home. On the way there I was beginning to feel like I couldn't keep my eyes open. (this is something that has been happening quite a bit lately when I drive far distance) I stopped at a gas station and we picked up some refreshments and I got a little bottle of, what I now know as, magic.
I drank this little bottle of not so horrible tasting, yet not that good either, stuff and within a few minutes I felt its effects. I was able to drive from there until we were almost home without feeling like 'I shouldn't be driving'. And by then I was close enough and talking with Cassie about how she was starving.
While in Milwaukee we went to Children's Hospital for an appointment with an Orthopedic doctor there. So far things are looking okay, but because one of Cassie's ankles are getting tighter (harder to get in her leg brace) she will be in casts for the next couple months. And every 2 weeks we have to get her cast taken off and a new one put on, therefore stretching her ankle more. And we have to go to Milwaukee for the appointments. Every 2 weeks. For about 2 months. To have a cast taken off, the leg looked at, and a new cast put on. In Milwaukee.
I'm not a rocket scientist, but I'm pretty sure that there is someone that can take a cast off, look at an ankle, and put a new cast on closer to home then 2+ hours. Now I know that the doctor in Milwaukee is pediatric, and I know that he is familiar with Spina Bifida, but he is also 2+ hours away. Not only is that a long time to be in a car with a child, but it is also 3/4 tank of gas gone out the window. So, I'm again taking donations...which I often do on here...to help supply gas for the van to get us back and forth from Cassie's appointments. Also, if you want to leave a tip for refreshments/lunch along the way, that would be great.
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This year the Easter Bunny really tested me because he bought the girls finger paint. That would be paint. That you use your fingers for. And then your mom who has OCD freaks out and dies. Yup...thanks a lot Easter 'Fr*ckin' Bunny.
But I came back to life...that is what Easter is all about after all...and I let the girls play with the paint outside, with some of daddy's old shirts on, while taking deep breaths. Oh...and the container of wipes close by. Just in case someone wanted to wipe their fingers clean. Please.
It actually wasn't that horrible. I found a top to an ice cream bucket to put paint on and they mixed colors as needed. They had a good time. And I lived.
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Our friendly gerbil, Remy, is an artist. A while ago I put an old, yellow, hard plastic cup in her cage. (no worries mom...it's not Tupperware) After a bit she started nawing on it. My thought was that it was a good way to wear down her teeth and keep her entertained.
The other day while cleaning her cage I decided that it really looked like an art piece, so I took a picture. 
And, why yes, I am that lady who just posted a picture of a chewed up cup made by her gerbil. But it is so Purrty!
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This week I brought out the bouncy seat thingy (yes that is the proper term) for Brady to try out.
I had to use a blanket around him to help his body keep from swaying, but he really enjoyed it. He smiles in it and looks at all the toys. He is doing lots of reaching for them too. In fact, he kept grabbing on to the steering wheel.
See...he is smiling at me like, "yeah Auntie Paula...I'm just going around the block." I keep trying to tell him about keeping his hands at 10 and 2, but he just wasn't getting it. Kids these days!
Tuesday
April 5, 2010
I had a whole post written. Then my internet browser decided to update and I lost everything I had typed. (enter cursing under breath here)
It is now 12:15 in the morning and I really need to get some sleep. Therefore, I'm going to try to upload some pics and I'll work on the real post tomorrow.
The girls in their Easter dresses. I like the simple springy dresses.
Kalli took a moment from hunting for eggs to pose...Just for YOU!Actually she just loves to pose like this. I don't get it either.
Cassie flying her kite while Kalli watches.
Getting a little artsy. Because, ya know, that is how I like to roll.And also...yesterday was my friend, Bill's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILL!!
Wednesday
Spring Break 2010
I'm rewinding a bit back to last week during the girl's 'Spring Break'.
Not only did Cassie get her first eye brow wax, and we visit Chuck E Cheese...we also went WILD!
Cassie took the car out for a spin on the town. Being as short as she is and the fact that she is only 9,she really had to concentrate on her driving hence the intense look.
Being as wild as the girls get, they headed out for a night out on the town
In the end Kalli booked the trip for the two of them and they went on Safari.Those wild girlies!!
Okay, so not that wild. But it was fun to spoof on the 'Girls gone Wild' title. That is until I was making the sign on the ground in the driveway and the girls kept yelling, "GIRLS GONE WILD". Go ahead try to explain to a 5 and 9 year old why they shouldn't be yelling that out loud.
And the moral of the story: My girls were a little too excited about "Girls Gone Wild" and therefore will be grounded for every spring break until they are married.
