NaBloPoMo - Day 8...Hey, I'm doing great!

I am running a race that never ends. It is called my life.

With Becky's baby shower finished, I thought I could sit and relax for a while. Maybe my "To Do" list would shorten some and make me feel less stressed. Have we talked about all the issues I have with stress? And guilt? No?? That is a story for another time.

Today after visiting at my parents I came home and looked around my home. My first thought...who the hell messed up the place and were we robbed? Then I remembered how I have been busy with shower things, school things, and all those other things. None of which included cleaning and straightening. So I added cleaning and straightening to my "To Do" list.

Then I remembered that I haven't finished all of the calendars that I make for Christmas gifts. I do have pictures picked out for all of the months...minus November and December, of course. However, I don't have my last calendar completed with backgrounds, months, numbers, and holidays. So I added that to my "To Do" list.

Then I also remembered that Christmas is under 2 months away. Which, honestly, scares the crap out of me. To start with I don't have any shopping done or ideas of what to get anyone. And most importantly, Christmas Eve is Cassie's birthday. Her 9th birthday. Do you know what this means? It means that I WILL HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD! And yes, that deserved to be in CAPS and with an exclamation point.

I find it so hard to believe that she will be 9 in just a couple months. I can still remember the day she was born. And how in denial I was that she was coming that night. I didn't want a Christmas baby. And I had already been to the hospital with preterm labor so I didn't want to go again. I remember saying to Andy and my mom that I wasn't going to the hospital again just to go home without the baby outside of my body.

Cassie was born one month premature, yet very healthy. She had trouble with her first few breaths but was ready to go after those. And that pattern has continued to this day. There are moments when she struggles, flounders some, or has trouble with things. She needs some reassurance or a few extra words of encouragement along with a hug and then she is ready to go. Cassie had her first surgery at 2 hours old and her second surgery at 2 days old. And since then several more. She bounces back quickly and for the most part doesn't let things get her down.

Lately, however, a few things have been changing. Cassie is more emotional then her normal. She is crying more easily and has been wanting to cuddle more. She's been giving hugs and kisses more freely and has been wanting to be held. Yet she is becoming more independent too. She wants to do things with friends without Kalli tagging along. She sometimes pushes me away when I try to play with her. She is growing up quickly. In 6 weeks and 4 days Cassie will be 9 years old. And I will be adding to my "To Do" list again. This time adding finding a way to slow down my childrens' aging process.

Let's not even talk about the fact that Cassie literally comes up to just below my shoulders now. And we also won't mention that when I noticed this fact she looked at me and said, "it's ok...you are short." And we also will ignore the fact that it is a good thing that she is so pretty and still innocent because seriously...how rude.