CasKal

May 23, 2010

2010-05-23T23:15:00.002-05:00

So as you have probably gathered by the lack of posts on this site, I've changed to WordPress. Please change your address that you visit me at to: www.caskal.wordpress.com

Or, follow this link

May 4, 2010

2010-05-03T23:48:00.003-05:00

So I'm testing out a new site. I'm almost out of free space here on Blogger.com so I've been checking out WordPress.com. They give more free space and their set up looks easy enough for me to understand. Therefore, tonight I'm posting there and giving you the link to visit me over there.

At this point I'm not positive if I'll be staying with Blogger and just purchasing more space or if I'll move to WordPress for good at this point. Stay tuned as I shop around and decide. More then likely it'll be WordPress, but I want to make a informed decision.

Click here to go to other CasKal site.

And if needed....the site is www.caskal.wordpress.com

Enjoy!

I blinked...where'd the weekend go?

2010-05-03T00:01:00.004-05:00

How is it possible that the weekend is over already?

Saturday I spent the majority of my day recovering from the hangover left to me by nine 9-year olds spending the night at my home. And may I mention that they were all girls. This is only important because at 9 hormones are starting. As is the cattiness that only girls are good at. This includes making other girls cry and feel like crap. I saw this first hand and stopped it every time, letting the girls know that we would not be doing this or I'd be calling parents.

Yes, I did invite all these girls. And yes I got myself into it. However, the girls all loved it, I'm now the coolest mom at school, AND I didn't think that so many would be able to make it. Besides...I lived and almost enjoyed it. Almost.

I spent 2 hours of Saturday sacked out on my Aunt's couch. I was pretty much oblivious to the world around me and felt drugged when I tried to wake up before the 2 hours were up. After that time I was able to operate for the remainder of the day.

I sat the rummage sale at my aunts' house and when that was done went home and watched a movie and relaxed with Andy.

Sunday morning (this morning) Andy and I woke at 7, got ready to head to our friend, Sue's house, and went out to Happily Ever After. And for anyone that hasn't paid attention to when I've spoken of Happily Ever After (HEA) before, it is a absolute no-kill shelter which holds some of the sweetest animals I've ever met. These animals may have some issues, but are still looking for their fur-ever home. Today I walked 8 dogs: Georget, Charlie, Marilyn, Levi, Emily, Maxine, Dessi, and a new puppy that was so cute that I wanted to take him home. Andy said no. BULLY! (click on the dogs names that are blue and you will be taken to an adoption page where you can see them. Not sure why some of the dogs aren't up on the page, but they aren't. Humph!)

I love going out to HEA. I feel like I'm actually making a difference...even it is small. It makes me wish I could do more, but my time and love seem to be enough for the dogs. I'm hoping that this summer Andy and I can spend a couple more days a month there helping out. We've talked about taking the girls and taking turns watching the girls and helping out with whatever needs to be done. If there is a dog/cat that needs some brushing/petting and it is good with kids, then we'd let the kids help out there. It would teach the kids that volunteering and helping out less fortunate (whether animals or humans) is important. I'm hoping that this...along with some of the other things I'd like to do with the girls will help them be less selfish and more giving.

The rest of Sunday was spent running errands and then coming home and getting the kids ready for bed.

This weekend flew and I feel like it really never happened. Fortunately, this week looks less hectic than this last one. At least so far. I babysit Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday...as normal. I have Kalli's field trip on Wednesday, and Morning with Mom on Thursday with the girls (a morning that moms or whoever can make it goes to school in the morning with their kids to eat a little breakfast and then go to the classroom to visit and maybe do a little activity before school starts. Then, the only other thing going on this week is that Kalli has her first soccer practices this week. One on Monday and one on Wednesday. She is so unbelievably excited. And today we made sure that her soccer shoes fit, got her a ball, some soccer socks, some pocket-less shorts, and made sure that all the other supplies were close by. The season is starting! I figure I will take pictures tomorrow of her practicing with the other kids for you to see.

Cassie starts baseball with the Miracle League in June and this year I have stepped down from being team mom so that I can enjoy the game more and sit on the bleachers with the rest of the family to cheer Cassie on.

I'm very excited about the photo opportunities that this year presents. I'm hoping to get some real nice pictures to share and use on calendars for next year. Yes, I'm already looking at calendars for next year. I already have pictures printed out for the months of January, February, March, and April. I have found where I'm going to order the actual Calendars from and will order them when we have some extra money. I'm actually ahead of where I normally am at this point of the year. Go me!

Alright...it is 2:15 and Andy said that I had to be in bed and asleep before his alarm goes off at 3. Bully!

I'm the King...er...Queen of the world!!

2010-05-01T20:43:00.003-05:00

I'm still here. I'm alive. I know, I'm amazed as well. I feel invincible at this point. It is pretty awesome. I can do anything now that I've accomplished this.

Last night I had a total of 14 girls in my living room...including my 2 girlies...for a makeover party. That portion went very well. The girls learned about the importance of cleaning their skin and moisturizing. They then put on some liquid eye shadow and some shimmery lip gloss. The girls all had a blast.

After the makeover, some of the girls went home and I ended up with a total of 8 girls, including Cassie, here to spend the night. To make a very long story short, the night went better then I thought it would have. There was quite a bit of drama (ugh - girls)(she said that you said...., tears, and arguments over everything) But in the end everyone had a good time and everyone lived. Hey, I get points for having everyone live through the night. It means that I didn't have to use physical force and that I used those patience things everyone talks about.

I believe that all the girls had a good time. I know that Cassie had a super time...other then being very tired today. I don't think she really slept at all last night. Just dozed a little bit.

I, also spent my day tired. In fact, I actually took a 2 hour nap today and I'm still tired. I feel like I'm nursing a hangover that was caused by being around too many hormonal girls and isn't going away very easily at all.

So, the question is, what is the hangover cure for this?

I'm ALIVE!!

2010-05-01T02:56:00.003-05:00

Remember when I completely lost my mind and invited all of the girls from Cassie's class to come to my place (a duplex) and spend the night here? All 11, not including Cassie. Yeah? Well tonight is that night

And I'm here to report that it is 330 in the morning, the kids are all asleep, and I'm still alive. I've succeeded...overcome...and won! Take that...uh...witches? At this point I feel like I could leap over buildings in a single jump, run a marathon, or save babies from burning buildings. Unfortunately it is 330 in the morning and I should get to sleep before the first of them start waking up. And here I was looking forward to that marathon. Darn!

I'll fill you in on details tomorrow.

Looking for: part time worker to fill rest of full time position

2010-04-29T00:47:00.003-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen....we have schedules. For the girls' summer sports, that is.

This year Kalli is playing soccer (May-June) and Cassie is playing baseball (June-August). AND, in the month of June we only have one overlap. Yeah us! I really wouldn't even call it an overlap as Cassie's game starts at 4 and Kalli's doesn't start until 6. However, it is one of those days that we'll have to watch the time close.

If you haven't received a schedule from me and want one, please let me know. My brain is a part time worker only lately and I may have missed someone. I sent out email about 10 minutes ago.
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Tomorrow is my sleep study with a CPAP on and I'm really hoping that once this is all figured out, my brain will come back to work for me full time. I've grown a little attached and this time off is really a little upsetting.

On that note.... It is 1:30am and I'm off to bed.

Random Recap

2010-04-27T00:10:00.004-05:00

This post is going to be so random as I'm trying to recap from the past weekend that I didn't blog at all during. Hey, everyone deserves a weekend off now and then. Besides, before that I was on a total roll in the posting daily department.

Friday I drove a total of 4 hours for a 15 minute appointment in which we didn't even see the doctor. Can you say ridiculous? We did wonder around the outside of the hospital though and I took the chance to take a few pics.

Quick Cas, itch while you can.

Cassie has such a hard time during these recasts.

She spent her time playing on my phone and laying back letting the nurses do their thing.

The girls outside the clinic. I'm sparing you all the flower/artsy ones I took. Your welcome.

Saturday I spent the day bonding with my mom by shopping. It is the best way to bond. Not much else to report from that day. Rummaged in the morning. Hung out with my mom. And that was about it.

Sunday I did some running with my almost sister-in-law, Kelli. I have a project or two that I'm working on that I had to pick up supplies for and I'm also finishing up getting ready for Cassie's birthday party. You know...that one that I'm crazy for having in the first place. Yeah, no one has called yet to say that they are not coming and only 2 girls have passed on the sleeping over part. Gulp! So what are you doing this coming Friday? Wanna come help me stay sane?After a few hours of running, the girls and I got ready to go, we picked up Becky, and we headed to The Melting Pot.

The Melting Pot is a fondue restaurant that is so delicious that you end up leaving full and sedated. We had a girlie evening and while fun was had by all, I have to say that The Melting Pot is much more relaxing and enjoyable when you don't have 2 kids with you. Two children, that while they were well behaved and had a blast, needed help with everything and I was a little nervous about them being so close to a hot pan and hot liquids. Especially Kalli...the girl isn't known for being graceful. The girls enjoyed themselves though and we all left very full and happy.

The following pictures were all taken while at The Melting Pot.

Cassie and Kalli at The Melting Pot. Gotta love Cassie holding her sister some...

A GORGEOUS picture that I took of Cassie while at The Melting Pot.
I love this picture because it really caught her beauty.
However, she looks much older then she should....therefore I don't like this picture.

Hey, not only am a mom, but I'm female too. I can change my mind and be complicated like that.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to Milwaukee we go

2010-04-22T23:52:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm not going to say this out loud because then I will jinx it. Therefore, lean in close. No...closer. Come on, you aren't even moving. Lean in close.

**Whispering: The internet on my computer seems to be better.**

The cold shoulder must have worked. I don't know what happened or why things changed, but I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Anyhow...

Tomorrow (4-23) I'm headed to Milwaukee with the girls to get Cassie's cast changed. Seems silly to go to Milwaukee to take the cast off and put a new one on. 2 hour ride there, maybe 1 hour there, and another 2 hours back. Crazy, I know. I'm going to try to get Cassie into another doctor down at Children's for the next time we are down there. At least then I'll be seeing two doctors for my 4 hours of drive. Still doesn't seem to equal out though.

On this trip, Kalli will be coming along as Andy can't keep taking time off to get her off to school. Kalli is looking forward to the trip....even though she will probably sleep a good portion of the ride. You see, my little Kalli girl gets car sick, therefore, we have to give her motion sickness pills when we travel any distance. It is getting to the point that anything more then across town is too far. And for some reason, the pills make her sleep. Not that I'm necessarily complaining...at least I'm not listening to "I'm bored" and "Are we almost there?"

Also on this trip, my mother-in-law has volunteered to ride along to keep me company. So I'll have someone other then the girlies to talk to. I still plan on taking some 5-hour energy because I'm still no better with the not feeling tired situation. I go on this coming Friday to sleep at the clinic again with a CPAP machine to hopefully get this situation fixed. I really am not enjoying the falling asleep during the day feeling.

Alright, it is now almost 1am. I have to be up, showered, dressed, have the kids ready, and be at my mother-in-law's home for 6:30am. This would be my cue to go to bed.

I'm bringing my camera tomorrow so hopefully I'll have some pictures to share in my post tomorrow night.

Proudly reporting just for you

2010-04-21T21:41:00.003-05:00

Today was the Marathon of Knowledge. I volunteered all day reading questions to all the different grades and I have to tell you...some of those questions were not easy. 4th Grade question: What are the 3 branches of Government? I mean there are more, but honestly, I can't remember them all because of all the questions that I asked today. In between reading, I would go to Kalli's classroom and help out there. At the end of the day the teacher really appreciated my being there because the kids were being a little obnoxious. Oh who am I kidding, a few of the kids were being complete brats. Because of previous misbehavior the kids had 7 minutes to serve. They have to put their heads down and be quiet during this time instead of having play time. Well, I spent the entire rest of the day telling kids to put their head down and to sit down and to be quiet. Comes down to the kids only took about 1 minute of time off because of much fooling around went on.

There is one boy, J, who is really a lot of....work. I ended up pulling him out into the hall and he was fooling around out there too and slid himself down onto the floor while I was trying to talk to him. I said, "excuse me! I won't let my own kids misbehave and be this disrespectful and definitely won't let someone else's child."

In talking with the teacher later, we are pretty sure J has ADHD, however his dad won't let him be tested. In other words, his dad is keeping him from possibly getting treated. I'm no doctor, but if people were questioning whether your child could have ADHD, wouldn't you wanted him or her tested? Don't get me wrong...I don't think all kids have ADHD, some are just brats. However, look into it. If the doctor suggests meds then try them. See if they help. If not...at least you tried. Parents are so worried about this stigma and really...come on. Isn't it more important that your child is happy and stays out of trouble?

So all in all it was a very fun day. Somewhat.

And I'm actually getting somewhat tired so I'm going to attempt to get some sleep tonight.

Oh...and I'm sure some of you are wondering how Cassie and Kalli did on their Marathon of Knowledge question. Well...they both answered every question correctly. All 100 questions. And then all the bonus questions that they had. To say that I'm proud is an understatement. A huge understatement.

Until tomorrow. g'nite.

Pumping up for the Marathon

2010-04-21T00:51:00.004-05:00

I know what you are all thinking, and yet are afraid to say out loud. And yes, I am on a posting streak. Other then NaBloPoMo, I think this may be the longest stretch I've done in a long while. See, staying up until 1:30 - 3:00 has its advantages.

However, there are times that I'd like to be able to go to bed earlier. Tonight is one of those nights. Tomorrow I have to be awake and ready to go once I bring the girls to school. Tomorrow is the Marathon of Knowledge of school and I volunteered to help out all day. They took me up on the whole day thing and I'll be reading to kids for the entire day. Now, while I'm not positive of what this exactly means (I'll find out at 9 tomorrow morning - which is actually this morning) I'm pretty sure this means that I'll spend the day reading questions to the kids and quizzing them. This means lots of reading and therefore, probably a sore throat. I plan on bringing water. And soda. And hard candies. And gum. And maybe some chapstick.

It'll be a fun day over all though, I'm sure. The girls are pumped and I went through questions like 2-3times tonight. We'll go through them one more time in the morning to try to keep the answers fresh in their heads.

Now I'm sure you are wondering what the questions are. I'd love to type them all up right now, but seriously? That would be 200 questions plus the bonus questions. That would be a lot of typing this early in the morning. Maybe I'll work on that tomorrow, but only if I run out of things to do. That is seriously a lot of typing.
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Today I received another call for Cassie's party. The girl is coming to the makeover part, but won't be sleeping overnight. Can't say that I'm overly sad. I don't know what I'm going to do with all these girls. What on Earth was I on when I concocted this idea? And what possessed me to write out those invites and allow Cassie to bring them to school to hand out? The worst part is that I have no one that will take the challenge of spending the night here with me. Something about me making my bed and now having to lay in it.

Now I'm not sure, but I'm thinking that I won't get much time that night to lay in my bed or sleep so I'm pretty much left with 'making my bed'. And I'm getting the feeling that people don't feel bad for me at all. Whenever I talk about it people just laugh.

Honestly though, I know that it is crazy and I should be committed for even thinking about inviting this many girls to my home, but I know that it is Cassie's favorite birthday yet (it hasn't even happened yet) and that she will probably never forget it. And for her, I'd do crazy things. Things that could get me committed because I love seeing that smile. Hearing that giggle. and watching those eyes twinkle.

It is amazing what one child can do to a person. I used to just think about me and now I find myself just wanting my girls to be happy. As long as they are healthy and happy nothing else in the world matters.

To prove that I'm even more insane though, because you need more proof, I'm checking into how much it would be to rent out a roller rink for Kalli's birthday and then inviting her whole class. I'd also let Cassie invite a few friends so she'd have a few kids her age.

So to recap, I'm nuts, but my kids rock because they have awesome parties and awesome parents. At this rate what on Earth will I do for their 16th Birthdays. Someone better tie me up that year.

April 19, 2010

2010-04-20T00:03:00.004-05:00

Computers are a pain, sometimes. Okay...maybe even more then sometimes.

Right now I want to kick my desktop computer. For some unknown reason it won't load internet pages. It is connected to the internet, but that is it. It's like it is connected but can't fully communicate with the internet or something. I don't know...all I do know is it is flippin' annoying.

So, at the moment I'm using the laptop and giving my computer the silent treatment. That'll teach it!
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I'm so proud of Cassie. Today I took the girls to school as I was going to keep Cassie home this morning because she had an appointment, but decided to sent her for that hour and then pick her up. Upon getting in the car, I realized that we didn't have her wheelchair. Instead, her chair was in Andy's car. At his work. On the west side of town. UGH!

I dropped the girls at school, came home to take a quick shower, ran across town to get chair, came back across town to the school, and then took Cassie to her appointment. I asked her if she wanted to try without the wheelchair for the day or if she wanted it and she said that she wanted to go without it. I was so impressed that she made the decision to try without it. And I have to say that when she came home today and asked if she could take the chair tomorrow because she has gym, but on Wednesday she doesn't want to take it again, I could have burst with pride. She is making these decisions on her own and whether she knows it all she is becoming more independence and building up those muscles and therefore her endurance. Have I mentioned how proud of her I am? I kinda want to come up with some sort of reward for her doing this on her own, but I don't know what I would do.

She has grown up so much in the past few weeks that I find myself looking at her in awe. Where did my baby go? And who is this pre-teen?
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On Wednesday, the 21st, Cassie and Kalli will be having their Marathon of Knowledge at school. This is a major fundraiser for the school and consists of the kids each memorizing 100 grade appropriate questions. The girls work on getting donations that are collected after the marathon day. As this is our first year doing this, we've really sucked at the getting donations part. Therefore, "Hi...Cassie and Kalli are participating in a Marathon of Knowledge this year where they help to raise money for the school by increasing their knowledge by memorizing 100 questions. Would you care to donate anything? You can either contribute a flat amount or by how many questions the girls get correct. Money is not collected until after Wednesday but is due by April 30th." Let me know if you are interested in donating, but have not done so. This happens to be the largest fund raiser for the school so it is fun. All the kids in the school receive a t-shirt and get to eat in their classrooms or, if weather permits, outside.

I will be spending Marathon day at the school quizzing the kids. Sound like fun?? Yeah, I get breaks as they are needed though and food is provided, so it isn't so rough. :)
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Update on Cassie's birthday party: As of this moment I have 2 calls that have said they will be here for both parts. Some of the kids told Cassie they are coming, but I don't have a phone call verifying that yet. And as of today, absolutely no one has said that they can't make it. There is one girl that Cassie said can't stay over but will be here for the makeover, but at this point I'm going to end up with a full house on my end. Anyone wanna come spend the night and help me stay sane? As of now, Andy's plan is to play Xbox all night and ignore the fact that his home has been taken over by preteen girls. Honestly, I can't blame him. I am thinking about doing the same thing.

Burning the place down

2010-04-18T21:51:00.003-05:00

Tonight we had my brother-in-law and sister-in-law over for dinner and to visit. We decided to keep it very simple and had burgers and hotdogs with chips, salsa, and jalapeno cheese dip. It was a simple yet good meal. Especially with the nicer weather we've been having.

So Andy starts the grill, get's the burgers, unwraps them and goes out to put them on the grill. He then comes back into the house and from out in the garage where I was talking with my sister-in-law I hear him say, "what the hey!" I ignore it figuring one of the cats was on the table or something.

A little while Andy calls me into the house and says as I come in, "don't be mad and don't kill me." I always love when those words are spoken as you know it isn't going to be a good thing. I look at the stove to see ash and burnt paper all over. "What on Earth?" I ask.

It ends up that when he took the freezer paper off the burgers he tossed it onto the stove. Where I was burning a pretty smelling candle. When Andy walked back into the house there was fire happening on the stove. He got it out and then once things were controlled called me in.

I didn't freak. Instead I asked him why it was that he was trying to burn down my home and I told him that I really like it here. I also gave him a hard time about how he should know by his age not to put things over open flame. Mind you, there was nothing around the stove that would have caught on fire from something like paper as it doesn't burn a high flame or very hot, still though....it is the idea that it happened. It was a simple mistake, but reminds you of how careful you have to be with where you put things. And how it is a good thing we now have renters' insurance.

I will not stop burning candles as I do it safely...I will just have to keep the love of my life away from them. I'm sure he won't mind as that means he will have to stay out of the kitchen.
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Friday at school, Kalli got hurt. I was volunteering in the library so they came to get me to 'kiss her boo'. She was playing with Cassie and her friend. Cassie's friend was on the monkey bars and Kalli got a little too close to her. Kalli got kicked in the face and fell onto the woodchips. Her face was sore and scratched up, but otherwise she was fine. This is until I took her with me to the library until recess was over. Once she was away from everyone and just with me she lost it. She cried into my shoulder while I told her that she was okay, that I knew it hurt, and all those soothing things you say to your children to calm them.

After a bit she was better and I walked her to her class with ice pack in tow. Everyone in her class asked her what happened and were concerned about her. By the time the day was over, she was sore, but otherwise was back to normal.

The next day I took this picture of her face.

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This weekend was taken up by pricing for upcoming rummage sales and also by going through everything in my home sorting and organizing asking "what can I get rid of?" I want organization. I want the 'junk' gone. I want a home...not a storage facility. I want to be able to find things without searching. And I want to be rid of CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Sydrome) I want to be able to have people call and say we're on our way...or just show up...without freaking as I look around and have everyone pitch in to straighten things some.

Not that the place is that bad. Mainly just lived in, but it is enough to make the OCD part of me want to up and move. I am constantly cleaning...straightening and sorting, dusting and doing dishes, and the one thing that I'll never be able to be rid of....vacuuming. I seriously, vacuum the kitchen and living room at least 3-4 times a day. Anytime I see something on the floor I have to vacuum the whole room. And the saddest part is that I'm not exaggerating at all. My vacuum almost never is unplugged and one of the only times it is unplugged is to move to a different floor to vacuum.

Now mind you, I don't vacuum the bedrooms and basement this much. Thank goodness! But the rooms that I see the most and live in...(sigh) I can't help it. I worry about how it looks when I see something on the floor. I worry about Cassie's allergies. I worry about all the dirt that must be tracked into the house. I worry about how cluttered the room is. And yes, I am a worry-wart and I do worry about being a worry-wart as well.

All this to say that I'm keeping busy and that I'm very tired. On that note...and the fact that it is 2am...I'm going to bed.

Taking Care of Paula

2010-04-16T21:23:00.004-05:00

Tonight I am taking care of me.

Tonight both the girls are gone sleeping over places. Earlier I cleaned the entire living room, including moving the couch out and vacuuming the couch. I then headed upstairs and cleaned the bathroom before taking a shower.

I just came downstairs and was going to start on the kitchen when I thought... "screw it! I deserve a night off." I made a bowl of popcorn grabbed my last wine cooler and sat down here to play some games and to blog.

I looked over at Andy, who is playing Xbox online as he does every Friday, and he looked at me. I nodded at my popcorn and beverage and said, "I'm taking care of me." He nodded and said that it was good that I do it.

My psychologist would be proud. She is always telling me to take time for me and to allow myself to do nothing. And for the most part, I can't. Tonight though, I decided to just stop and sit... (Not that it is easy to do) and allow myself a break.

Cassie informed me today that it is 11 days until her party. She isn't excited at all. Seriously...I only think the ENTIRE school knows about her party. And I'm more then likely not over exaggerating that much.

Yesterday (the day handed out the invites) evening I received the first RSVP. One girl coming and staying overnight. Then today, Cassie comes home from school and informs me that 4 more girls are coming, but one can't stay overnight. Alright...we are up to 5 for the makeover now and 4 for the overnight. And, again I'll say it, the invites were given out yesterday. I did tell Cassie, though, to have the girls call me, or have a parent call me to make it official.

Have I mentioned the fact that I'm a little scared? Only one no go for sleepover so far. I know that a lot can happen yet, but the nerves are beginning to twitch. I think I may have been under the influence of drugs when I made this decision. Some really strong drugs. So...at the worst, I will have 11 girls, plus my own here for the makeover and then 10 girls, plus Cassie, for the overnight. How bad could it be??

Someone catch me...I'm feeling light-headed.

New Pictures up on PicasaWeb

2010-04-16T02:07:00.001-05:00

Follow the link, my friends to see pictures :)

TADA

Story Time

2010-04-15T14:41:00.005-05:00

Today was an absolutely beautiful day. I decided to get out, soak up some of that wonderful vitamin D, and enjoy the warmth. I feel like I could have just sat in a reclined chair with my face towards the sun letting the rays warm my insides. I now understand why flowers and plants always grow towards the sun.

The winter seems to leave me cold and dark on the inside. When the sun finally decides to stay out and the temperatures rise, I feel like I go outside and you could almost see me soaking in the sun. It warms my insides, thaws me, and makes me feel calm and more relaxed. I'll probably never leave Wisconsin...this is where I was born and I'm not the type of person to up and move, however...I will never like the winters. The cold, snow, wind, and the length of it all. It would probably be healthier for me if I were to move somewhere where the sun was out a bit more, but it'll probably never happen. And if it does I have to wait for my parents to retire so they can move with us. My parents would never let us go with the girls, the girls would be heartbroken not being able to see grandma and grandpa every weekend, and let's just say it....I need my mom close by. My dad too, of course, but when I need to vent or someone to lean on...it's my mom.

I remember when Andy and I first got married, there would be times that I would be having a rough time and Andy would bring me over to my parents' house and you could almost see him handing me over to my mom as if to say, "she is broken, please fix her". He didn't know what to do to help so he did what he did know. And that was that when I am in crisis mode, I need my mommy. :) It is a good lesson for many men around the world to learn.

But back to the subject on which I was going to write this post...

Sunny, warm day. Beautiful out. Enjoy weather and soak up vitamin D. Caught up? Alright.

I decided that I would take Brady for a walk so I loaded him up in my stroller and we were off.
I didn't have any destination in mind when we left, I just walked. After a while I noticed that we were getting closer to the park so that became our destination. And here is where our little story begins.

I of course had my camera with me. Would I be me if I didn't??

I took some pictures of Brady sitting on some things and some things he was wondering about. No worries mommy and daddy...We just posed for pictures. We didn't do any firsts. We are leaving that for you.

Brady sitting on the bottom of a tube slide.
Wondering at what point he can slide down it into his mommy's arms.

Just sitting in the swing. I made sure not to swing it at all.
Brady is wondering when he can get his first under-duck.

I didn't even try to get him to sit on this...say hello to my no broken baby policy. Brady is wondering what these levers with the fulcrum in the middle are. And when daddy will help him work it.

Brady can't wait to try to shoot some hoops. First he has to learn to spell horse.

Brady is wondering... 1. what is this stuff and how can I get it to my mouth to taste it?? 2. Can I play t-ball some day?

Brady wonders about climbing this. Yeah...even I cringe at that idea. No broken babies please.

Photo-shoot continues at home. We practiced sitting....

Tummy time...AND holding something. We've come a long way baby!

Little Monkey toes... He kept opening and closing his toes and playing with the opposite foot.

I'm so enamored with this little boy. And those eyes!

End of story... for now :)

You said you wanted me to post more...

2010-04-14T19:38:00.006-05:00

I have a few problems. And I'm coming to you, my adoring fans...er...fan, for your input. If not....hey, I should be able to at least make you laugh...on my behalf of course. Now where to start.

Let's start off with something more simple. Last night I went in for a Sleep Study to attempt to find out why on Earth it is that I'm so unbelievably exhausted. Ya know...like the fact that I can't keep my eyes from wanting to shut and stay shut when driving a little distance. For some reason other drivers don't care for it when you try to drive with your eyes shut. Also: people within the vehicle you are driving don't really like it also. It makes them nervous. Darn pansies.

So I went for my study and I slept. I woke up a few times to move some, and it did take me a while to fall asleep. HELLO...not the easiest to fall asleep when you are this wired.

This morning they woke me (side note: one will wake faster and be more alert then normal when being waken by a stranger in your not-normal setting. Good Morning Nurse Lady!) and told me that I have Sleep Apnea and will have to come back another night to sleep with a CPAP on to find out what pressure works for me. Yeah...that was a lot of words to get the idea across that I will be going back to sleep in not-my-bed at not-my-home with a scuba diving type mask on forcing air into me. (And I'm now wondering why is it no one has ever inflated and floated away while hooked up to a CPAP...I'm imagining a cartoon of someone floating against the ceiling with the tubing tethering them to the machine. Spouse in the room, looking up..."uh...honey?")

But I digress. All this is to say that I do have Sleep Apnea (in the first 1/2 of my study I stopped breathing every 9 minutes, on average. Cool, eh? Also: Never before did I study for sleeping. Maybe that is why babies don't sleep through the night at first...they are studying how to. Yeah yeah...bad humor. It's 11:48 at night, give me a break.) In a couple weeks I will go back and then work on getting my own CPAP for here at home. I'm hoping to then dream of scuba diving in some beautiful reef and waking up refreshed. Hey, a girl can hope.

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I'm going to once again try to prove that I'm either completely crazy or an awesome mom. At the end of this month I have invited all 11, you read that right...eleven, girls from Cassie's class to come to Cassie's VERY LATE birthday party.

A friend of mine, who is actually a Mary Kaye consultant, and I will be giving the girls mini facials and teaching them a little about skin care. The girls will then be able to put a little age appropriate make up on (aka lip gloss and light shimmering eye shadow) Yup...keeping things age appropriate...no making these girls look like hoochies here. I've also asked my almost sister-in-law to come help do mini-manicures too. Alright, so we are just painting nails...I can make believe if the kids can.

Then, just to test my sanity, I've invited all 11 of these girls to spend the night here. At my home. Where I will be.

Andy has already told me he doesn't care what I do because he will be playing his Xbox all night. That is 'man' for "you're on your own toots!" I figure there is a very low chance that all the girls will be able to come and stay over anyway. Of course, with my luck...

Please stay open that night if I need to be rescued. Thank you :)
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I love Kalli. Really I do. She is so unbelievably sweet. She is gorgeous and very smart. She is very attached to me...maybe too much at times, but that is ok. She is my baby after all.

Kalli is also hilarious. I mean shaking your head laughing hilarious, at times. Most of the time she doesn't even try to be funny. She is just showing you something or telling you something and after you laugh she will blush and try to hide some.

Tonight, I'm sitting with Cassie, checking her teeth after she brushes them and Kalli comes in by us ready for bed (in long shirt) and says, "I can give myself a wedgie. Look...". And then she does. She pulls up on her underwear until it is seated just inside her seat and then she says proudly, "see...".

Now I'm not sure, but when did this become a talent? I just laughed and shook my head and said wow. Cassie looked at me as if to say that her sister was nuts and continued with her teeth. I told Kalli to go show her daddy what she could do and she blushed and hid. I only wish these were the moments that I could get on video because seriously...this is blackmail material in the making!!
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I don't know what to do about this next one. The girls had 'Spring Pictures' at school a few weeks ago. I think that it is silly that they are now taking pictures two times a year and trying to get parents to buy more. I mean hello, 1 sheet (8x10, 2 3x5s, OR a sheet of wallets) is $12. RIDICULOUS!

Well, that is until the pictures came home. See, they send the pics home, you keep what you want, send back any you don't want, and any money for those you've kept. The pictures that came home of my children are breath-taking. I think that they are beautiful. And I'm going to have a very hard time sending them back.

See what I mean?? And then I put the girls' beginning of the year next to the recent ones and...WOW! They have changed so much in just 6 months. Where did my little girls go??

Agreed? I just look at those pictures and am stunned. There are no words....
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Okay, a couple last pictures of things. No long story to go along with them really, I just liked them so there you go :)

Brady wanted to be carried the other day so I put him front facing in the carrier I have. He loved it and I got things done.

I brought some fake flowers from the dollar store the other day to make a little seasonal bouquet here at home. Here is what I made up. Nothing super, but I like it. And it adds color to my kitchen. Besides....they make me smile when I am doing dishes.

My Perfect Mascot

2010-04-12T21:08:00.004-05:00

Things have been a little crazy around here. I'm finding that I'm overwhelmed and am trying to slowly work on that. I've been trying to take a little time for myself lately and concentrating on taking better care of myself. This is something that I've neglected severely until recently. And now I find myself trying to find things to do that are more for me, but not without guilt. For example: one of the smaller things, we've been trying hard to stay home on Sundays as a family and spend time doing what "we" want to do. Of course I do feel guilty about this because I feel that I'm letting others down by not being there for them or doing things for others. And this is just a small example.

My therapist and I have been talking about my guilt issues and how I have to put myself first, but I have a hard time because I don't want to be selfish. And somehow my brain has programmed itself to think anytime I'm doing anything for myself, I'm being selfish. I want to be self-less. I want to give til it hurts.

Only problem is that I'm at the point where it is hurting. Hence the fact that I'm trying to take care of me. (sigh) But is most definitely not easy.
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Let's add to this the fact that the medicines that I'm on have been being shifted around and changes some so my body is messed up to say the least. Again...an example.

7-730am: Wake up
830am: Kids onto bus
9-10am: OMG I'm tired
10am-2pm: get stuff done, supper started, etc
2-4pm: OMG why on Earth am I so tired
4-8pm: get some stuff done, eat supper, help kids with stuff
8-830pm: WOO HOO I'm awake. Who wants to clean? Anyone wanna go for a walk outside? How about we reorganize the pantry? (This is the point at which Andy looks at me like I'm out of my mind and goes to bed - well at about 9/930pm)
830pm-12/1am: I clean, I play on the computer, I try to get rid of this WIDE AWAKE feeling. It doesn't stop until around 1 in the morning.
1am-ish: Lay down in bed and pass out
7-730am: rinse and repeat

And the best part is I can't seem to stop this cycle. Tomorrow night I go for a sleep study to see what is exactly going on when I sleep. Maybe this will shed a little light on things. Or at least I can hope.
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This past Sunday we had Easter Lunch with Andy's side of the family. His aunt took us all to Legends for their buffet and I have to say that it was pretty darn delicious. After we ate, I took the girls and my niece, Kyra, out to take some pictures. I would have taken Kaitlynn with, however, she was busy running around and enjoying herself. I managed to get some pictures of her later when she was sitting still for about 2 minutes. :)

First off we have Cassie. She is up a tree without a paddle. There was some beautiful trees around the restaurant so I took full advantage of them. Cassie is a little nervous without her feet on the ground, but smiled for me anyhow.

Then there is Kalli. She is a monkey at heart and loved when I lifted her up into the crevice of the tree. She stood there like a queen looking down at her subjects.

At a different tree we stopped and I got some pictures of the three girls together. I love that even with how different they all look, you can see that they are related. Cousins til the end. :)

Then I took a few of Kyra alone. She is turning into such a beautiful young lady. I honestly am not a fan of how grown up she is starting to look, but not much anyone can do about that. However, she still comes and sits on my lap to cuddle, so that is all that matters. Look at that picture...can you say senior picture??

Then there is my little peanut girl. Kaitlynn did sit still every now and then, but for the most part she was on the move. It is hard to keep a 15 month old down. She too is getting so big. I am not sure when that happened because I was there the day she was born...and I'm pretty sure that was just last week.

It was a nice day spent with family and visiting some. Afterwards, Andy and the girls dropped me at home so I could have some alone time and they headed over to his brother's house so that the cousins could play some more.
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As you know I fell a couple weeks back and ended up getting 10 stitches in my knee and an air cast on my opposite ankle. (and that isn't to mention the tetanus shot...ouch, hurts to think about it)

Stitches are out now and things are feeling much better. I purchased a more low-file brace for my ankle and I wear it if I am going to be doing a lot of stairs at home or if I'm going out anywhere. I will slowly stop wearing it at home and then probably will stop wearing it when just going to store or anything. Whenever I have to do a lot of walking on uneven ground though, you can bet it will be on my foot.

Miss Becky, got me a little something the other day and it fits me perfectly. Meet Mr Bump...

Becky says that he is perfect for me because I am always hurting myself. Which is very true. Mr Bump now lives right in front of my computer monitor to keep me company. We spend lots of time together, Mr Bump and me, because we have a lot in common. We both get hurt quite often. He is my perfect mascot. now if only he had a little camera hanging around his neck. Maybe I'll have to look through the girls' barbies or try to come up with something.

Thank you Becky :)

April 7, 2010

2010-04-07T19:23:00.003-05:00

Today was a very interesting day.

Andy took the day off because Cassie and I had to go down to Milwaukee. I drove the 2+ hours there, had an appointment for about 3 hours, and then drove the 2+ hours home. On the way there I was beginning to feel like I couldn't keep my eyes open. (this is something that has been happening quite a bit lately when I drive far distance) I stopped at a gas station and we picked up some refreshments and I got a little bottle of, what I now know as, magic.

I drank this little bottle of not so horrible tasting, yet not that good either, stuff and within a few minutes I felt its effects. I was able to drive from there until we were almost home without feeling like 'I shouldn't be driving'. And by then I was close enough and talking with Cassie about how she was starving.

While in Milwaukee we went to Children's Hospital for an appointment with an Orthopedic doctor there. So far things are looking okay, but because one of Cassie's ankles are getting tighter (harder to get in her leg brace) she will be in casts for the next couple months. And every 2 weeks we have to get her cast taken off and a new one put on, therefore stretching her ankle more. And we have to go to Milwaukee for the appointments. Every 2 weeks. For about 2 months. To have a cast taken off, the leg looked at, and a new cast put on. In Milwaukee.

I'm not a rocket scientist, but I'm pretty sure that there is someone that can take a cast off, look at an ankle, and put a new cast on closer to home then 2+ hours. Now I know that the doctor in Milwaukee is pediatric, and I know that he is familiar with Spina Bifida, but he is also 2+ hours away. Not only is that a long time to be in a car with a child, but it is also 3/4 tank of gas gone out the window. So, I'm again taking donations...which I often do on here...to help supply gas for the van to get us back and forth from Cassie's appointments. Also, if you want to leave a tip for refreshments/lunch along the way, that would be great.
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This year the Easter Bunny really tested me because he bought the girls finger paint. That would be paint. That you use your fingers for. And then your mom who has OCD freaks out and dies. Yup...thanks a lot Easter 'Fr*ckin' Bunny.

But I came back to life...that is what Easter is all about after all...and I let the girls play with the paint outside, with some of daddy's old shirts on, while taking deep breaths. Oh...and the container of wipes close by. Just in case someone wanted to wipe their fingers clean. Please.

It actually wasn't that horrible. I found a top to an ice cream bucket to put paint on and they mixed colors as needed. They had a good time. And I lived.
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Our friendly gerbil, Remy, is an artist. A while ago I put an old, yellow, hard plastic cup in her cage. (no worries mom...it's not Tupperware) After a bit she started nawing on it. My thought was that it was a good way to wear down her teeth and keep her entertained.

The other day while cleaning her cage I decided that it really looked like an art piece, so I took a picture.

And, why yes, I am that lady who just posted a picture of a chewed up cup made by her gerbil. But it is so Purrty!
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This week I brought out the bouncy seat thingy (yes that is the proper term) for Brady to try out.

I had to use a blanket around him to help his body keep from swaying, but he really enjoyed it. He smiles in it and looks at all the toys. He is doing lots of reaching for them too. In fact, he kept grabbing on to the steering wheel.

See...he is smiling at me like, "yeah Auntie Paula...I'm just going around the block." I keep trying to tell him about keeping his hands at 10 and 2, but he just wasn't getting it. Kids these days!

April 5, 2010

2010-04-06T00:12:00.005-05:00

I had a whole post written. Then my internet browser decided to update and I lost everything I had typed. (enter cursing under breath here)

It is now 12:15 in the morning and I really need to get some sleep. Therefore, I'm going to try to upload some pics and I'll work on the real post tomorrow.

The girls in their Easter dresses. I like the simple springy dresses.

Ya know...so they can wear it all summer.

Kalli took a moment from hunting for eggs to pose...Just for YOU!
Actually she just loves to pose like this. I don't get it either.

Cassie flying her kite while Kalli watches.

Getting a little artsy. Because, ya know, that is how I like to roll.

Also...today is my brother-in-law, Tim's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMMY!!

And also...yesterday was my friend, Bill's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILL!!

Spring Break 2010

2010-03-31T22:51:00.003-05:00

I'm rewinding a bit back to last week during the girl's 'Spring Break'.

Not only did Cassie get her first eye brow wax, and we visit Chuck E Cheese...we also went WILD!

Cassie took the car out for a spin on the town. Being as short as she is and the fact that she is only 9,
she really had to concentrate on her driving hence the intense look.

Being as wild as the girls get, they headed out for a night out on the town

and found themselves happily Cage Dancing

In the end Kalli booked the trip for the two of them and they went on Safari.
Those wild girlies!!

Okay, so not that wild. But it was fun to spoof on the 'Girls gone Wild' title. That is until I was making the sign on the ground in the driveway and the girls kept yelling, "GIRLS GONE WILD". Go ahead try to explain to a 5 and 9 year old why they shouldn't be yelling that out loud.

And the moral of the story: My girls were a little too excited about "Girls Gone Wild" and therefore will be grounded for every spring break until they are married.

Kids

2010-03-30T21:39:00.003-05:00

KIDS

That word right there says so much and can be said in so many tones that it leaves a lot for interpretation.

When my girls were were little they were such little bundles of joy. I watched them sleep, held them while they slept just so that I could be close to them and smell their wonderful baby scent, I pondered how it is that they came from two tiny cells and somehow transformed into this little human...this baby that somehow I loved more then my life itself. I'd have given anything to keep my baby safe. Their first smiles, giggles, and all the ones that came after filled my heart until I thought it would burst. Kids....

When they became toddlers (each of them in their own time) I found myself saying "no" more then I ever thought a person could possibly say it in one day. I also found myself saying things that I never thought a person would say, never mind that it was it was me that was saying it. "Don't lick the window", "Stop sitting on your sister's face", "No banging your head on the wall" are just several of the phrases that passed through my lips. Why is it that my children liked licking smooth surfaces? I can't count the number of times I told them not to lick something. And then all the times I told them "no touching", moved them away from things, and then watched as they looked at me with defiance in their eyes and went back and did it again. I should have seen it as a sign, but they were my precious angels. Kids.....

When they got to 4-K and Kindergarten (As Kalli is right now) I find myself looking at them wondering where the baby went. They are beginning to get a social life and the fact that Kalli knows our number by heart is a bad thing. She has given it out to friends that actually call her. She is getting calls and is talking to her friends like she is a teen. Only not as long (thankfully). This seems to be an age that kids become wonderful helpers...at least my kids. They want to help more and while helping it gives them that chance to ask a million questions. Now, mind you, Kalli hasn't stopped talking since the moment that she started. However now that she reading she wants to know why things say what they say. She gives me a full report of what went on in the classroom that day. Down to who got in trouble and for what. She watches Brady and Kaitlynn even when I'm right there and makes sure the cats stay out of trouble. She is my informer. You want to know anything?? She knows it. She listens to everything people say, but only responds or lets you know she is listening when it is to her benefit. At this age Cassie had her first little crush and for Kalli it is the same. Kalli has informed me who she is going to marry, but that she isn't going to start dating him until they are in High School. Kids!

Then we move onto Cassie's age....9. At nine, at least for Cassie, they really start to work on their teenage angst. Cassie is more sure of herself then last year or the year before, but at the same time she is more unsure. She is still Miss Social Butterfly at school but still stays out of trouble. However, her attitude has needed some adjusting and still needs more. She has started the one word answers to questions. She rolls her eyes at me from time to time...which by the way only makes me want to knock her head off her shoulders while every hair on the back of my neck stands on end. She is becoming a teen before my eyes, and in my opinion, at too young of an age. She has mood swings...going from laughing to crying and back again. Sometimes even laughing at nothing and not being able to stop. I find myself several times stepping back and waiting for her head to spin around Exorcist style. I love the girl, yet I'm not sure we are both going to make it through her teen years.

Cassie is testing her limits. She is trying things she doesn't normally do and seeing what happens. And due to things like this she has found herself grounded for the first time. For a week. From her DSI. Fortunately for me, she knows that she was at wrong and didn't argue or fight it at all.

Cassie is becoming increasingly more frustrated at things. Tonight it took us almost an hour to complete her homework. A one page, single sided, math worksheet. Mind you that math is her hardest subject, but tonight was ridiculous. There was crying and yelling and pulling out of hair...and that was just what I did. Ok...I didn't really cry, but I wanted to. I know that everyone learns differently and I'm really trying to find a way to teach Cassie things that works for her to make it click, but so far I'm failing terribly. The problems were simple multiplication (which she is having trouble memorizing) and the answers were right there in front of her, but she still wasn't getting it. I would coax her through it until she saw it and then we'd move onto the next question. And it was the same thing. It was like she had no short term memory whatsoever. I seriously put my head in my hands and laughed a little too hysterically.

Then at bedtime she started crying because she wanted to cuddle with me. She has become increasingly cuddly and needing of me lately. She just wants to be held and reminded that she is loved, important, and that she is safe. I know she has anxieties (she actually asked if we locked the doors the other night) but my heart almost is breaking because I'm not sure what is going on inside of that head. I hold her and at times she starts crying, not even knowing, herself, why she is crying. ....kids

For me, also, I watch other people's children. I find myself falling more and more in love with these little people that don't really truly belong to me. (though as I do become more attached and watch these little ones grow I like to think that a little piece of them is mine. I teach them, I love them, kiss and hug them as much as possible, and as needed...am a second mom for them.) I find myself willing to jump in front of a bus to save them. Watching them sleep and holding them longer then I should when they are sleeping just to smell their scent. I feel like I'm back at the beginning only I don't get to keep these little ones. The little ones will have me pulling at my hair as they grow as well. (as Kaitlynn already has me at sometimes....toddlers!) Kids.

And then it comes back to the mom...as everything always does. I love my kids with every molecule of my being. Yet they make my emotions go from pulling at my hair and wanting to run down the road screaming, all the way to crying silently because I don't know what to do to make them better. I have to say now that I don't think that I was informed of all this when I signed on to be a mom. It may have been in the fine print, but who really reads that anyway.

Kids!

Paula: The Good Times, The Bad Times, and the Body that Hates Her

2010-03-25T21:16:00.002-05:00

Last week Andy called me from work and told me that he had been called into a meeting with his team leader, supervisor, and the plant supervisor. It was a spontaneous meeting And the conversation went something like this...

Supervisor: We want to have a meeting with the plant supervisor, the team leader, you and I.
Andy: Alright...when?
Supervisor: Right now.
Andy: Okay...

He must have gotten that look on his face because his supervisor told him that it wasn't anything bad.

Andy went into the room and sat down, still nervous. It is at this point that they started telling him how much they appreciate everything that he has been doing. For several months now he has been coming in 2 hours early several times a week (some entire weeks) and learning part of the team leader's job. He has also been cross trained in many of the other ares of the plant in the past year. Andy has also done most of the team leader's job when she is not at work.
In the meeting, they said that some people would have quit or complained by now because of the extra work load and the expectations that have been placed on him. The supervisor and plant supervisor commended him on his attitude and his willingness to learn. They told Andy that he absorbs new information like a sponge and is then ready for new challenges.

And then...he was given a promotion. And a raise. I'm so unbelievably proud of him. His hours are changing some too. He was working 7-3:30, but now he will have to go in earlier so he will be working 5-1:30. While I have to admit that it has got to suck getting up so early in the morning. Is there really a A.M. version of 3:30? Seriously?? However, he is enjoying the being done at 1:30 and I am loving having him home earlier.
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Last week was the girls' Spring Break from school and while we didn't do too much extraordinary, we did have a nice week. The girls played in the basement a lot, showing me that they can get along and solve their own problems.

On Friday, the last day of Break, I took the girls to Chuck E. Cheese for pizza and games. However, before heading there for fun and excitement we stopped off at our local salons and Cassie got her eye brows waxed for the first time. As of late it seems that some of the hair on her face is starting to darken. Mainly eye brows and a little bit on the upper lip. We started with eye brows as well...honestly, I come from a family of uni-brows. Cassie inherited this wonderful trait as well.

Before: Uni-brow and hairy

She was very nervous going in and cried some, but after they did it the first pull she said that "it felt like pulling off a bandaid. Or like pulling the tape off when I tape her mouth shut." Huh???? Yes this is what she said in front of the ladies that were doing her and my waxes. So I had to clarify before Child Services was called. Every now and again when Cassie is talking up a storm and driving me insane I will use scotch tape and 'tape her mouth shut'. Cassie, however, made it sound like I duct taped her mouth on a daily basis...which by the way would eliminate the upper lip problem.

After all was said and done, Cassie loved it. She kept saying that she was so pretty now. And I kept correcting her by saying that she was always pretty...this just makes her eye brows look that little bit more defined and clean. And it is very true.

After: cleaned up and looking fairly good.
Next time I will have them round the insides a little more so it looks less treky looking.

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So, we've talked in the past about how my body hates me, right? And about how I'm very coordinated? Well...I have a story to show just how true these things are.

Sunday morning we were walking dogs and I rolled my ankle. Of course my ankle rolling and then giving out completely caused me to fall on the gravel road. I stopped my face from hitting the ground with my hands and surprisingly never lost the dog. As I was laying on the ground the dog, Emily, came back and looked at me as if to say, "why are you on the ground?"

Andy was a little ways in front of me and turned back to see me completing my fall to the ground and then rushed to see if I was okay. (fortunately he was the only one to see my embarrassment) I said that I was okay and I tried to get up and walk off the pain in my ankle. It wasn't really helping, but I was hoping. I then mentioned how my knee was really hurting and that I was sure it was scrapped up and that I'd have another bruise. I told Andy that I didn't want to look, but should. I pulled up my pants leg and what I saw made my stomach flip and Andy say "oh my God". It wasn't pretty. I had gouge in my knee and it looked like a flap of skin was hanging there some. I pulled my pant leg back down and thought about trying to walk this off as well, but I gave up and went back to the house.

Before: Open, fleshy looking boo-boo. This picture actually doesn't show how bad it really was.

Long story short...this was the end of my walking dogs for the day, I felt like a dork, and once we were back in town Andy and I headed for the ER. It was a blast and I came out with an air brace for my right ankle, 10 stitches in my left knee, a tetanus shot in my left arm, and antibiotics to be on for the next several days. Seriously, not that good of a time.

After: Bruises setting in now, the girls say my stitches make my skin look like they are lips.
It hurts to move my knee and just thinking about bumping it makes me cringe.

And now for the question of the evening. When you have an injured ankle/leg they tell you that when you are going up the stairs to lead with the good leg and when you are doing down the stairs to lead with the bad. Up with the good, Down with the bad. However, how do you do stairs when both legs are bad?? Yeah, I haven't figured it out yet either. For now I just do my best with as little moaning as possible and hope that I am not sweating by the time I get to the other end of the stairs. Yes, it is a sad life that I have here. I'm thinking of making a sitcom out of it. I'll just simply call it "Paula: Good Times, Bad Times, and the Body that Hates Her". Has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?
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I feel like I have so much more to post about, but sleep is a little more important and it is almost 11:00pm. I'll work on it tomorrow, if time presents itself. ;)

Bruises, Allergies, Flowers, oh my!

2010-03-23T20:56:00.006-05:00

Look... I'm back. Two days in a row. Okay, yesterday didn't REALLY count. One paragraph isn't really a descent post, but at least it let you know that I was still alive.

Lately, however, I have been having problems with bruising. I have no idea where the bruises are coming from, but they just show up. I'm at the point where I find a new bruise almost every day. I have them on my arms. I have them on my legs. Anyone that didn't know me would think I was being abused. And I'm afraid that as the weather gets warmer and shorts come out I will get more looks. Think I'm exaggerating?

This my left arm with all the bruises that are fading...finally.

And then there is my right arm...

Then there is my left leg. This is the inside of my leg.
The outside has bruises as well, however they are fading.

This is my right leg. At least it is just one bruise.

And finally there is my upper left arm.
I know where this one is from, but let me just say that it shouldn't have caused all this bruising.

So yeah...I'm having a great time. Not knowing what is going on. My body is revolting...I think. Or something like that. I'm just hoping that it goes away. Soon. Either that or I may be wearing pants all summer.
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In other news, Cassie had allergy testing done on Monday. She has very sporadic allergies that include sneezing, itchy eyes and skin, runny nose, and lots of complaining. She had a total of 21 scratches done. 10 scratches in 2 batches and then one separate one.

She didn't enjoy the scratches...they don't feel the best to have done, but she took it in stride shedding only a few tears. Then when the itching started she became a little more irritated. The hardest part about allergy testing is the fact that you can NOT itch what-so-ever. This is enough to drive a person insane. I kept her sane for the time being by letting her play on my phone and showing her pictures of her back as the process went on.

This picture is a little bit after they started the 15 minute test period.
You can see that under the B section there are some reacting already.

This is towards the end of the 15 minutes. Just a couple more minutes to go.
You can easily see that there are some reactions. Some of the smaller reactions are hard to see though.

The largest reactions were from dust mites (bottom welt) and dust (above dust mites). Other reactions were for grass and mold. The smallest reactions, however, enough for them to write down...cats and gerbils.

Yes...my daughter is allergic to her pets. Fortunately, I have OCD and vacuum a lot so she isn't affected. Yeah for OCD!!

So now we are going through a cleaning process and getting hypoallergenic covers for her mattress and pillow. I also am drying all her stuffed animals (which harbor lots of dust mites) for an hour on high heat to kill the mites. It is keeping me busy but hopefully these things along with her allergy pills will keep her from going insane.
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At this moment I have more live flowers in my house then I've ever had at one time. Becky bought me some daisies last week because she is the best friend ever. They are bright and cheerful and I've now split the flowers between in the kitchen and bathroom to spread the beauty.

Colorful flowers from Becky...THANK YOU BECKY!!

Then, this weekend, Andy and I went out to a friend's bar and my friend bought me a rose. I am loving being able to see flowers throughout the day and I'm thinking that maybe I need to buy flowers every so often to cheer up my home.

Pretty rose from Bill.

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Lastly, a picture of the cutest little boy I know...

I did a little photo shoot with Brady today while he was with me. I think this is my favorite picture of him alone that I took today. I also got some pictures of him with Kalli. (Becky-I'm working on getting them all on disk for you. :)

The sweet prince. He is changing so much lately.
Look at him holding that head up like a champ. And those beautiful blue eyes. And that dimple that shows up when he smiles.

Yes...I am in love with Becky's little boy!

Promise!

2010-03-22T22:49:00.002-05:00

Working on post that should be up tomorrow. It shall include...

Cassie's allergy appointment results
My new problem
And how we are spending the girls' Spring Break.
And maybe more....if I can think of anything else to talk about.

For now, I'm off to bed. Ya know....before Andy heads up without me. Yes, we are those sad people that go to bed each night at the same time and together. It is really the only time we get to talk without children interrupting.

March 16, 2010

2010-03-16T11:09:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I received my 2010 Census paperwork. Today I put it back in the mailbox completed. Aren't I just a model citizen? Hey, either I do it right away or it gets buried in my mess and I won't find it til months later.

Don't look at me like that....like it never happens to anyone else.
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I spent some more time in the basement tonight trying to get my area organized. Well organize my area, do some laundry, and get rummage sale things priced and packed up. There you go...again I am a multi-tasker.

I am getting somewhere down there, but it is slow going. There is more down there then you would think and as I can't just sit down there and do it for any length of time, it stretches the task out. Some day though....Some day. I will have things happy down there and will be able to utilize the space.
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My cats are odd. The two of them together love each other completely as if they were from the same litter. However, they are polar opposites.

Buffy (our female) is more to herself. She will come to you when she needs loving. Many times this happens in the early...EARLY morning hours when she paws at the closet day until I hiss her name. At which point she jumps on the bed and comes up to me, as if to say, "Oh...you are awake. I love you....pet me!" And if, heaven forbid, I fall asleep before she feels that she has had enough love she will go paw at the closet again.

Lightning (our male) is loving ALL THE TIME! Seriously. Like annoyingly so. He will even follow you to the bathroom, sit on the girl's stool for the sink, and then 'meow' at you while sitting up on his back legs and waving his front ones in the air. He sleeps on the bed up next to my pillow. But at least he no longer sleeps on me. He is what the girls call, "our lover kitty".

However, Lightning will eat anything. The cat chews on shoes (especially the foam type), he actually ate a goldfish cracker off the floor the other day that Kaitlynn had dropped, and he is more active during the day then at night. He actually sleeps all night with me. Buffy won't even eat soft cat food. And trust me we've tried different kinds as treats. Buffy sleeps all day...in the sun that makes its way in the windows if possible.

Buffy also loves to be as high as possible. Lightning can't jump for the life of him and when put up high won't move. Pretty sure he is scared of heights. When people come over Lightning believes that they are here for him and because they have hands they should be petting him. Buffy usually goes and hides as soon as someone comes into the house. Though she is getting better about staying around.

They are so opposite and yet they are so compatible and inseparable. I can't imagine them being apart.

They are also a little crazy. Lightning tries to eat things that cats shouldn't and just today Buffy was laying on the back of the couch licking it. Yeah...they fit into this family perfectly.

Fade In: Music from Twilight Zone

2010-03-12T22:24:00.003-06:00

It's official. I'm a little weirded out. Okay, maybe weirded out is a little strong way of putting it, but I am definitely in unknown territory. In many ways.

1. Tonight Cassie is at a birthday party and sleepover at one of her friend's houses. The girl is in her class and they've done a few things together now and are quite good friends. There are 2 other girls spending the night and they are all having a super time (At least when I went to help Cassie get ready for bed a little earlier they were). This all seems completely normal you say? Well sure. Except for the fact that the girl's dad where Cassie is staying happens to have been one of my teachers in middle school. I know...you are a little weirded out too, aren't you? When you are in school you are at one level and the teacher is at a completely different level. And now somehow we are at the same level and I'm confused. I don't know that I can call him by his first name as I know him as Mr Smith. (Note: his real last name isn't Smith) And in school teachers are an authority figure and you get used to that. And then you grow up and have kids in the same class and all of a sudden you are thrown in to, what to me feels like, the twilight zone. I just keep smiling and playing the song 'It's a small world after all' in my head.

2. In other news...Kalli is growing up. I know, you knew this already but this is in new and different ways. (Disclaimer: I am sharing this little story because I think that it was SUPER cute. I would like it if no one would say anything about this to Kalli because I don't mean to embarrass her at all or make her hold info back from me)

Thursday she had a field trip and at the end of the trip we were gathering things together to head to bus. One little boy (who we will call T) asked if she would sit with him on bus. She said sure. Then another little boy (who we will call C) comes and says he wants to sit with her too. She shrugs and says sure. On the way out to bus I'm following behind and T takes Kalli's hand in his and they hold hands all the way to the waiting bus. Once there T lets Kalli get on first and then follows, putting his hand on her back like he is guiding her to the seat. Say it with me...Aaaawwwwwwww! And from being in the classroom so much I can confirm that T is a well behaved boy. The other boy, C, joins them on the bus and Kalli ends up sitting on the outside of the seat. I told Kalli to hold on when the bus turns (she has an issue with keeping her butt on the seat when riding buses) C hears this, stands up and offers to switch seats with Kalli to keep her in the seat. He moves to the outside and keeps her safe til we are back at school. I will also mention that during the tour part of the field trip, Kalli couldn't see at one point and C lifted Kalli up some so that she could see better.

For dinner that night we went out and I told Kalli that I was going to tell Andy about things because I thought that they were very nice and cute, but that I didn't mean to embarrass her at all. I told him the entire story and the look on his face almost said he was calculating when to buy the shotgun to hang over the door. Kalli then informs us that she likes T and that she thinks that she might marry him. But that they won't start dating until High School. This is where I bit my tongue and smiled before biting into my sandwich and looking to see if all the blood had drained from Andy's face yet.

We are fortunate though as several of the boys in Kalli's class seem to be quite polite and well mannered. When Andy was in the class towards the end of the day Thursday (having come back from a field trip with Cassie) one of the boys (E) came up and asked Andy if he was Kalli's dad. When Andy said yes, E held out his hand and said "It's nice to meet you."

Nice to meet you? holding a girl's hand and letting her get on the bus first, gently guiding her with hand on back? switching seats so that girl is more comfortable and safe? Who are these boys and where are they getting their lessons? I am hoping that it just shows that they have some awesome male figures in their lives that are teaching them that chivalry isn't dead and to put others first.

In the meantime, I'm feeling very lost and like my girls are growing up a little too quickly.

Cassie had her physical today and we talked about all the changes that she has been going through. I found out that there is no pill to give kids to keep them younger or to stop the teenage-ist angst that has already begun. I also learned that the darn kid is only 11 inches shorter then me. When did that happen??? Lately I find myself looking at her a lot and wondering when it is that she grew up. I mean really grew up. She is looking less like a kid and more like a young adult. Her features are changing. Becoming more feminine and softening. Her emotions are changing a lot too. She is requesting more time with me...mostly just cuddling and talking about nothing at all. I'm not sure that I'm ready for this next phase with her (not that I ever would be ready for it) but I'm hoping that our relationship is strong enough to keep from strangling each other and that the time I've spent teaching her to be silly, relax, and laugh will keep us laughing when we want to cry.

I'm also still looking for that pill that will keep her little.

Who? What? Where?

2010-03-09T22:17:00.004-06:00

It's Tuesday again.

Tuesday?

How on Earth is that even possible? In complete seriousness, where does time go? I mean last week flew by without me even realizing it. I find myself every day looking at my planner several times to make sure I am heading where I am suppose to head. Who am I watching tomorrow and today? What time are they coming? Do I have any appointments? Am I sure I don't have any appointments? Does my mom need me to do anything? Am I sure? Hey mom...do you need me this week?

I write down things, but then days look so full that I wonder if something got missed. And what is the date again? What was I suppose to do today? Cleaning? What is that? Other then the thing that I seem to be constantly doing, yet never seems completed. Example...last night I put the last load of clothes into the washer and was mentally giving myself a high five when Kalli came down with her clothes that she had worn that day. How defeating.

Another example happens to be the downfall of having so many children around...I pick up toys and vacuum, less then 2 minutes later toys are scattered everywhere. I'm working on getting the basement baby/toddler proof so that we can play down there, get toys out of my living room, and not worry about people walking in and wondering why a toy store vomited all over the place.

And then we get to the weekend and that seems to have vanished before it even started. I'm trying to be everywhere and it just isn't working. I'm only one person. Don't get me wrong...I love helping everyone and being there for people, but I feel pulled in several directions and again, I'm only one person. I find myself feeling like I'm disappointing people and letting them down. I can't get enough done in two days and spend the time with people that I'd like to. Now let's add to that situation the fact that Andy and I would like to start spending Sundays home just the 4 of us and I find myself wanting to pull hair out. I can't be home and also getting things done with other people. Again, don't get me wrong. I love helping everyone and I like how it feels to help people who ask for my help, I'm just feeling very torn because when I help one person others are feeling neglected.

My example...this weekend my almost-sister-in-law, Kelli, wanted my help in cleaning up her and my brother's areas. They are getting a new puppy this next weekend as long as everything goes as planned and Kelli was feeling stressed with the mess and the fact that she is so busy. (the girl works a regular job, an internship, has school, and homework...talk about having no time and feeling stressed and/or torn) I helped with the cleaning and straightening. I got to spend time with her bonding over garbage, recycling, and straightening and we got a lot done. However, in the meantime my dad wants my help organizing in the basement, I didn't get to spend much time with my mom at all, and my husband just wanted to go home. So I helped one person, but I feel like I disappointed everyone else. It is a no win situation. Anyone figure out how to clone yourself yet? Or be in multiple places at a time? I mean, I'm a good multi-tasker, but even I'm not that good.

Anyway, I'm done whining and complaining. For now :)
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This past Friday the girls' school had a family night at a local roller rink. I was unsure of how the girls would do or I should say Kalli because she isn't so good at roller skates. Okay, she isn't good at all. The only place she has practiced is on the carpet here at home. However, she got skates for Christmas so that she can practice for her first job that she wants at Sonic being a carhop on skates.

So I was a little nervous knowing how slippery skates can be on rink floors. However, Auntie Becky to the rescue! Becky came along to aide in skating as I wasn't sure if I was going to get into skates. I mean, hello....if I got broken who would take care of me, the girls, the kids I take care of, and my parents since my mom is down to one leg? When I brought this up to Andy his words were, "we'd be screwed!" And there was no chance of Andy skating because he is the only one bringing cash into the household. We need him able to work.

The girls were ecstatic about skating, though Cassie was wheeling around the rink. At times she was pulling people that were on skates and at others she was being pushed by some of her friends on skates. I even got brave and put on skates.

Cassie posing for a picture before rushing off to find her friends again.

I used to skate all the time and was a pro. Now I'm old...or at least older. And afraid of falling and the possibility of breaking something. I actually did quite well...while holding onto Cassie's wheel chair that is. I pushed her so it isn't like she pulled me. And while holding on to the chair it was just like old times. I could skate awesome, do some tight circles with feet turned out, and felt like it wasn't years since I've been skating. Note: I did skate some at the end without holding onto Cassie's chair and I didn't fall once. Yeah me!

This is the kind of picture you get in the dark when Cassie is going past you at the rink.

Kalli made her way slowly around the outside of the rink with Becky several times, and with me a couple times. By the end she was gaining confidence and was going a little without holding onto anyone. I was impressed. So much so, that we are looking at going skating to open skates from time to time depending on how often they are and how much they cost.

Becky helping Kalli. THANK YOU BECKY!!

Also important to note...I didn't hurt the next day at all. Yeah muscles.

Cassie and Kalli getting set up in the group photo at the end of the night.

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I'm working on posts. I've started a couple, but haven't gotten around to finish them. Wanna know why? Please see: Paula has too many things going on in her life.

Humor?

2010-03-03T20:11:00.003-06:00

So we're sitting in the living room watching the Ghost Hunters 100th episode. Yes we do watch Ghost Hunters...it is interesting as they try to debunk things and gives you something to think about. Even the girls like watching part of it before bed, though Cassie covers her eyes from time to time. The girls have asked if it is real and we've told them that some people think it is and some don't believe any of it. We (Andy and I) like to watch to see what they can prove is not real and then what they aren't even sure about. It makes us wonder. And I personally like to wonder. It keeps my mind open to things.

Tonight's episode is from Alcatraz Island and the prison that at one time held some of the worst of the worst criminals. The emcee of the show tonight announces that the TAPS crew is going to investigate the penile system.

And I say, "Ha...they said penile!" Out loud. With my children sitting within 6 feet of me. My 5 and 9 year old children.

I turn and look at Andy snickering and say, "I can't believe I just said that out loud."

We laugh and Andy tells me that he can't believe it either and that I can never say anything about things he says.

Of course the funniest part is the confused look on Cassie's face as she looks back and forth between us repeatedly saying, "I don't get it. What is so funny."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that the funny part is that deep down inside her mother has the sense of humor of a 6th grade boy.

March 2, 2010

2010-03-02T20:13:00.004-06:00

Nothing witty to say tonight. I'm tired. The kind of tired that sleep can't even cure. Tomorrow is a late start day for the girls and I have a doctor appointment. The appointment is mainly just a check-in kind of appointment. You still good? yeah? cool...see you later. But also I want to talk to the doctor about how tired I've been. How I don't like driving too much lately because I can't keep my eyes focused. And my eyes are so heavy. I hope that either it goes away with my Bronchitis or they can give me a clue as to what is going on. In the meantime...enjoy pics.

From the photo shoot I had with Brady the other day. Sleeping with the bunny.

From the photo shoot with Brady from the other day. In the penguin - did the same thing with Kaitlynn when she was little.

Kaitlynn kickin' it. In Brady's car seat. I was doing photo shoot with Brady and she decided that his seat was a great place to chill.

From the photo shoot with Brady from the other day. I love this little boy! And those eyes. I seem to have lost the circulation in my finger.

Itch-fest 2010

2010-03-01T09:16:00.002-06:00

So I'm not a meteorologist and I'm not a ground hog, but I can without a doubt tell you that spring is not too far off.

How is it I can say this? Sure if you look at the calendar it shows that spring is drawing closer. However, for me the sure sign of spring being around the corner is hives.

At the beginning of every spring and fall I get hives. Like clockwork. I'm more reliable then that dumb groundhog and more accurate then any of the meteorologists. I should get paid to let people know when I get these flippin' hives.

This morning I woke up itching. Upon investigation I found hives.I spent the morning passing on the news that "Spring is on it's way" to my mom, Becky, and Andy. They are all very excited over my hives. Mainly because they know that it is a true sign. I also think they just like to see me miserable.

Tonight has actually gotten to the point that I took one of my pills that helps with the itchiness. Normally I go as long as I can without taking something for it. Try to walk it off or ignore it until it is unbearable. Today, however, they are really bad already. In the past my hives start off with a couple here or there and then slowly build up to being downright annoying. This year though, they are different. I already have them on arms, legs, and on the back and palms of my hands. I'm unsure if I'm getting more sensitive over the years or if Spring is just coming rapidly this year.

Either way...I itch!

If I wake up with them on the bottom of my feet in the morning, you will know by the howls you hear coming from my direction.

Sick and Tired

2010-02-28T20:45:00.004-06:00

This weekend has been...hectic. And by hectic I mean that everyone needs to step back because I'm about to fall face forward to the floor. I will then mumble some sounds that no one will be able to understand. Just nod and walk away at this point please because if I have to look up to face anyone I may be tempted to glare one of those "mom" glares in your direction.

On Saturday I gave in to my coughing and feeling like crap and went to Urgent Care. It was there that I found out that I have Bronchitis and was put on antibiotics along with my inhaler and am suppose to continue to cuddle with my Nyquil every night to get good sleep.

Spending the weekend on the go probably didn't help much as I'm now exhausted and wishing I could just do nothing. Of course, there is the fact that as I sit here trying to rest and do nothing, I am also thinking about all the things that I should be working on and getting done.

I'm not so good at the resting and doing nothing part of being sick. When I was younger I would get sick and keep pushing myself until my mom 'grounded me'. Yes, I got grounded for being sick. It's because I wouldn't just let myself get better that she would make me take time and stay down. It worked, but who is going to ground me now because seriously I can't tell myself to slow down. As soon as I do I look at my planner and see all the upcoming things and start running again.

For now though...I'm off to take my shot of Nyquil and get a little rest.

February 25, 2010

2010-02-25T22:31:00.004-06:00

I started a post earlier today, but somehow it didn't come all together yet and the night is drawing to an end. So, for the night I'm putting the other post on the back burner to simmer til tomorrow and whipping up a replacement post for tonight's position.

Today the girls came off the bus asking about going to the schools' Movie Night tonight. I had seen the info come home, but was kinda hoping that the girls wouldn't want to go or would forget about it. Have I mentioned the tiredness? Or the sickness? Or the justwantingtostayhomeness?

Well, my hopes didn't come to fruition as the principal made an announcement at the end of the day and some of their friends said they were going. The first thing out of each of the girls' mouths when they saw me was about the Movie Night. So I said that we'd see and that I would talk to daddy and Auntie Becky (who we were spending the evening with also)

We did end up going to the school with sleeping bags and pillows in tow. Kalli brought her blanket and they both whined about not having brought stuffed animals. Also, I felt a little guilty about not letting them wear their jammies as most everyone there had their jammies on. Just add that to the list of guilt-givers for me. Let's also add to that list the fact that I'm sure this is just how Becky wanted to spend her evening...sitting in a elementary school gym watching a childrens' movie. Boy, I know how to show people a good time. For a good time call : 1-800-go-paula!

The movie that was playing was "Up!" and it is a pretty good movie. The girls enjoyed themselves...for the most part. There was some drama because Kalli couldn't see....Cassie's friends kept moving to get a better view...it was warm in the gym...and at one point Cassie was crying because she was tired. Why was she tired? Because it was dark. And she was warm. And she shoulda bought an animal with.

Oiy! That is how I felt about that one. I went to get her a drink and when I came back her friends were over talking to her so I gave them some time with her and she was better. YEAH for friends!

The complaints ended just in time for the movie to finish and for the party to be over. Then there were the I-don't-want-to-go tears. Seriously...there are days that it is amazing that I have hair left in my head. I just keep taking deep breaths.

Speaking of which....deep breaths.... I have figured out something. LaMaze isn't for actually birthing a child. Once you are in that searing pain who the hell cares about breathing? If you pass out maybe someone else will do the work and you can wake up to a pretty baby and no memories of the entire process (mind you, I had 2 c-sections and never took LaMaze) My epiphany is that LaMaze is actually given so that when your children are at the age where they can test limits, push buttons, and have drama you are able to breathe your way through it with nice deep cleansing breaths and make it through the moment without putting the human race in danger. It is also along the same line of reasoning that fussy or colicky babies are made extremely cute. So mothers don't eat their young. Survival of the species.

And speaking of survival of the species....I'm heading to bed. I need the extra sleep so that I can hopefully kick this cold and therefore make it through the girls day off tomorrow.

The Wheels on the Bus go round and round....

2010-02-24T19:01:00.003-06:00

Look - 2 days in a row. :)

Tonight Kalli was singing the Wheels on the Bus, but was making her own verses up. In case you are looking at singing her version, here are the verses

The babies on the bus go wha wha wha
The mommies on the bus go shh shh shh
The daddies on the bus go read read read
The grandmas on the bus go knit knit knit
The grandpas on the bus to (snoring sounds)
The kids on the bus go sit sit sit. -mind you at this point she sits with her head leaning on her arm like she is sooooo bored. I think the last verse should have been the kids on the bus go are we there yet???

I thought some of the parts were just hilarious! When she does the grandma knitting she mimes with her hands like she is making something. When she does the grandpas snoring she lays to the side on her hands and snores. I had to try very hard not to laugh. Man, I love that girl!!
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I'm still sick, but not as bad as I was last night at this time. Still considering taking some Nyquil tonight so I can get another good night of sleep. I could really use it.

Again...I shall leave you with a couple pictures. Tonight they are Miss Kaitlynn...my Bella Bean.

For some reason she loves this toy pacifier and will carry it around, suck on it, and put it in her 'bag' that she plays with. It is completely hard plastic which makes this a interesting feat.

She decided the other night that a pair of Uncle Andy's basketball shorts were a good scarf. She carried them around before putting them over her head. She then went over and hugged Andy.

February 23, 2010

2010-02-22T17:57:00.000-06:00

It started about a week ago. Kalli was running a low grade fever and doing some coughing.

A few days later Andy was complaining of a sore throat.

I felt like I was ducking and dodging germs left and right, trying to avoid coughs and dirty kleenex, and in general loving my children without touching them.

It didn't work. Over the weekend we spent Saturday afternoon at a local indoor water park and by the end of the day my throat was feeling strained. I attributed it to chlorine in the air and trying to talk over the water and people. However, the next day it wasn't better. In fact...it was somewhat worse. I spent part of Sunday silently cursing my children. I still didn't feel better at the end of the day and Andy had added vitamin C pills to our regiment.

On Monday I had Brady and Kaitlynn during the day. Brady was congested and just a little fussier then usual. And in case you are wondering...he is not a fan of having his nose snot-sucked. Kaitlynn was congested, had a runny nose, and was coughing some. And a little sassier then normal. I'm blaming this change on her not feeling the best and teething...simply because I can NOT handle the thought of her going into the sassy stage already. Kaitlynn is getting some of her molar teeth...2 on top and 1 on bottom - at least that I've been able to see. Have you ever thought about sticking your fingers in a 14 month old's mouth? I have, but I also like to type and have use of all my fingers. Therefore, I am sticking to just getting glimpses when she opens her mouth wide enough.

Today, Brady was still congested but for the most part you couldn't tell he is sick. He had lots of smiles to share though and seemed to be making the best of it. Look....already sucking it up. :)

Kaitlynn still had a runny nose and you could tell she was just not herself. Again...blaming it on teeth and cold. One of the things I found myself doing several times today was grabbing a little 14 month old and wiping her nose as she squirmed and cried trying to get away. Not my idea of a good time, but you do what needs to be done.

I, myself, have been coughing all day and have gone back to using my asthma inhaler. My chest feels heavy and to sum things up...I feel icky. And Yes, that is the medical term. I'm now to the point of the evening where symptoms get worse and the body just goes downhill at a rapid rate. A little while ago I grabbed my sweater because suddenly I'm freezing. My head hurts, but more in an achy numb way with the feeling of withdrawals tossed in there. My arms, chest, and neck feel like they can't quite support anything and like at any moment I may be seeing myself from a different view. My head on the floor looking up at my arm that is dangling from the desk disconnected from my body. No blood though please...I don't want it to be gory. I'm just hoping that when this does happen Andy will be able to put me back together again. Or I may end up like Humpty Dumpty.

And in case you were wondering. I am running a fever. I almost never run fevers. It is when I have a fever that I know that I'm quite sick.

However, I have to better by morning because I have to volunteer at school until I come home and have Kaitlynn for the remainder of the day. I know...I don't ask for a lot.

Alright...I'm off to huddle in the fetal position in bed cuddling my bottle of Nyquil to my bosom in hopes that magical fairies will come during the night and cure me.

And because I'm such a nice person...I'll leave you with some pictures. The first ones are of my girlies...they are getting so flippin big. And then some of my favorite little boy. I've been working on trying to get some good ones taken of him and soon would like to get some of him with Kaitlynn and then the 4 little peanuts in my life. (Cassie, Kalli, Kaitlynn, and Brady) I'm also working on possibly setting up a little photo shoot area in my home. Excitement!

Cassie is really starting to look grown up. Glamorous almost. It makes the mommy in me wanna cry.

Then there is my baby...Kalli. She isn't such a baby anymore.

Gosh this little boy has stolen my heart. He is just so cute. That adorable dimple and those blue eyes....Oiy!

I LOVE this picture!! He was in his car seat and his hat had slid down over his eyes while he was asleep.

And those cheeks....they are begging to be kissed.

Part of my day...

2010-02-18T11:35:00.003-06:00

So today I'm going to try something new. I'm going to attempt to blog throughout the day in hopes that I'll actually get a post up.

AND today is going to be an account of my day. Or at least some of it. I doubt I'll get to recount everything for you and I know.... You are thrilled.

10:00 Kaitlynn arrives. I talked with Trina for a little bit and then Becky came to spend some time with me before heading to work and leaving me with Brady boy. We had lunch together too. I miss her now that she is back to work. Maternity leave was good to us :)

11:00ish Becky left for work and I've already strapped Brady into the front carrier. I start dishes while Kaitlynn wanders around trying to find something to get into.

I am also working in the closet, trying to reorganize it. I want it to be more user friendly for diapers and such, but I can't figure out how to make it work.

11:40 Brady is due to eat in about 20 minutes and he is awake and waiting...and letting me know he is waiting. I get the bottle out and decide to get a few more things done before feeding him.

12:00 Brady is sleeping. Humph... Glad I didn't make that bottle up. Kaitlynn is acting tired and I'm considering putting her down for her nap. Andy just got home from going on Cassie's field trip with her.

We are going to be going down to clean in the basement in a while and we aren't sure how we're going to do it with both kids. If Kaitlynn goes for a nap we can head down and check on her from time to time while having Brady either in the front carrier or swaddled some in his car seat. We'll see. If Kaitlynn is awake all bets are off though. 14month olds get into too much! Inquisitive little things.

12:30 Andy is feeding Brady so that I can get the closet cleaned and a few other odds and ends finished. Kaitlynn went down for a nap and as soon as Brady is ready, we are going to try to head downstairs to clean.

Tonight, between 3 and 5 we are getting our first ever washer and dryer. WOO HOO!! (seriously...you have no idea how excited about this I am. We will be able to do laundry whenever we want and won't have to haul it anymore. Say it with me...WOO HOO!!) I'll take pictures later tonight and maybe get them posted to show you their beauty.

2:00 Well...we tried. Kaitlynn took a little nap and we brought Brady downstairs. We were able to get a little done, but then Brady wasn't having it anymore. I brought him upstairs while Andy moved everything else outta the way and called it done.

I changed Brady and within minutes heard Kaitlynn's sweet call. Brady was happy on the floor so I ran up to get Kaitlynn and changed her right away. When Kaitlynn kept trying to give Brady his pacifier--that he didn't want--I decided that it was a good time for her to have a snack. She is now eating in her chair in the kitchen doorway and Brady is trying not to fall asleep in my arm...while I type with the other. See how talented I am!! Oh yeah! I rock.

3:10 Typing one handed again as Brady is eating. Good news....he has also pooped. See, pooping IS important. More good news.... my washer and dryer are being delivered :)

Now as soon as Brady if finished eating I'm going to pack him up and we are going to run a few errands. Kaitlynn is going to stay with Andy as the girlies will be home soon.

9:40pm Boy time flies when you are having fun :) It is now 9:40 and I'm starting to think about heading to bed. Tomorrow is a full day of volunteering at school. This morning I saw some of the Kinders in Kalli's class and I got hugs and questions of if I was there to help today. When I told them I wasn't, but that I would be there tomorrow they were quite happy. It surprises me that, even though I'm pretty strict with them and make sure all the rules are being followed, they love having me in the classroom. It surprises both the teacher and I even more just how much I love being in the classroom. Do I get a headache being in the room with 23 kinders? Sure, some days. Do I think that kindergarten teachers deserve higher pay and sainthood? Hell Yes!

I miss the kids when I'm not there for a while. I like getting to know the kids and seeing their individuality, strengths, and weaknesses. I like seeing each of them improve from week to week. It is fun for me and something I enjoy.
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Alright, I'm just about ready to go to bed, but as I said I would try to do earlier, I went down and got a few pictures of my BEAUTIFUL NEW washer and dryer. (and yes...I know how sad it is that I'm this excited about a washer and dryer. It is official, I'm a boring adult housewife)

Not the BEST pic, but hey. You get the idea. Now I need a rug to stand on and the laundry brought down.

It's a special day today people!

2010-02-17T20:37:00.003-06:00

Tonight's blog is going to be very short because it is 10:00pm right now and my husband is making me go to bed.

I've been exhausted lately and a little on the stressed side so he is making me get some sleep tonight. It should be interesting since lately I can't get to bed until after 12:00 midnight. And of course my body is getting good at getting up by 730ish. This isn't including the times that I wake up in middle of the night to roll over or anything. (for some reason I can't roll over while sleeping, I guess)

If it weren't such a special day I totally would have skipped posting tonight all together. However, I would never hear the end of it if I were to not post today.

There is actually two important things going on today, but I have more of a story to go with one of them so I'll save that for last.

The first thing is that today is my Auntie Mary's birthday. As of late I don't get to spend as much time with her because our schedules aren't in sync. Also...my schedule is crazy so seriously it is hard for me to find time. Sorry....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE MARY!

Lastly, today (drum roll please) is my baby brother's 26th birthday. I still remember the night my mom went to the hospital to have him. I helped haul her suitcase into the kitchen and was very excited for her to go have the baby. The next morning I crawled into my parents' bed where my dad was sleeping and he told me that I had a little brother. I said "ok" and went back to bed for a bit. Later that day we went up to see Tony and my mom. I have lots of memories of growing up with Tony. Games we used to play, things we did, and how I use to dress him up like a doll and push him around in my pink cart. My mom said that when she brought him home I tried to take over. He was like my live dolly. I was only 5.5 years old at the time and loved babies already. Especially those that were my little brother.

It is hard to believe that he is 26 already. And not to get mushy or anything, but hey Tony...I love you and am proud of who and what you've become. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONY!!

I'm still alive and sane...kinda

2010-02-15T22:17:00.008-06:00

Today was my first day watching both my niece, Kaitlynn, and my nephew, Brady. At the same time. By myself. In case you don't get my point....I was outnumbered. By a 14 month old and a 2 month old. Gulp.

Kaitlynn hugging Brady.....again.

Things actually went quite well. No one was hurt and I stayed sane.

Brady sleeping in the front carrier thingy.

Brady had a little bit of a cranky period, but I put him in the front carrier that I have and walked with him doing a few things I needed to do....like feed Kaitlynn. He was out in no time at all and woke up happier and ready to go. I did take some pictures and a few videos...some of which I will share.

Tomorrow is another day with the two of them and I'm actually looking forward to it. Soon I'll have this all down and we'll have some sort of a little schedule. At least that is my hope.

Kaitlynn with Brady.... Sooooo cute!

One of the things that I did today as well was questioned the little mr Brady. He is such a little peanut.

First interview with Brady

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Cassie and Kalli excited at the PAC at intermission time.

NOTE: After putting this picture of the girls on I was looking at it and it blew my mind at how different they look. Kalli is blond with very fair skin while Cassie has brown hair and is very tan compared to Kalli. How is it kids can look so different, but come from the same parents. I just find it amazing/interesting.

Yesterday my mom and I took the girls to see the musical 'Cats' at the P.A.C. The girls had an absolute blast, Cassie said that the performance was better then the movie or any of the videos that I had showed her online, and my mom was thrilled beyond belief to get out of the house.

My mom is only a little over a week past her surgery and didn't think that she would be able to go to the musical. I, however, was determined. Saturday we did a trial run and took her out to just a couple stores. She was tired by the time we got home after the transferring in and out of the car and such, but was happy to be out of the house and breathe fresh air. She actually said she didn't mind the cold air because....she was out of the house!

I'm proud of my mom and all that she has been able to do in the past week. She still isn't as independent as she would like to be, but she is an overachiever. (love you mom!) I do think that she is learning how determined I am as well. When I said that I'd figure out a way to get her places, I meant it. And I succeeded. So a pat on my back, and one on my mom's as well for everything she has done and for trusting me....kinda. :)
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And lastly, I'll leave you with this....about a week ago or so, I was doing some wedding things with my almost sister-in-law, Kelli. I saw this sign and asked her actually asked her to turn around so I could take a picture.

Huh...interesting....

Yeah...it's a special called "if you love her lube her". Wow....that is all I have to say....Wow.

Ta Da!!

2010-02-09T18:54:00.004-06:00

Yes, it has been a long time since I've posted. It just so happens that by the time my day is done...whether it be a day of babysitting, being mom/wife, volunteering at school, hanging out with my BFF who is going back to work on Monday, running errands, or helping to care for my not-so-independent mom, or some combination of them...I'm just exhausted. If there was a way to write a post earlier then 9:00, that would probably help the frequency of posts. However, even now, at 10:00 I'm still busy.

Tonight Kalli and I ran to the store after dinner to get her a new pair of 'gym' shoes. (someone should have been praying for me going into a shoe section with Miss Kalli) She has been complaining that her shoes "feel funny" for a while and after looking for new ones I figured out why they "feel funny". The shoes that she was wearing were size 11. The size that we got tonight for her and fit with just a thumb width of growing room are size 13. The girlie needs to learn to say, "hey mom...my toes are squished...wanna buy me some that actually fit??"

Also, as I'm writing this, I am finishing up cooking a roast. It needed to be made or frozen so I started it after dinner tonight. It's going to be dinner tomorrow night? Or snacks over the weekend. Or something or other.

So update on where a few things are before I put roast away and head to bed.

My mom: doing alright...still hurting some, but pain is mostly under control. Is quite independent, but still needs some help from time to time. She actually made me laugh out loud by leaving me a message on Wednesday morning saying that my "mummy was unraveling". Her leg is in a splint with an Ace bandage wrapping the entire leg and the end of the bandage had come undone at her toes and was literally unraveling slowly. She couldn't reach it (for some reason she isn't that flexible anymore) and was afraid that if I didn't come help she would have a trail of bandage by the end of the day going from the living room to the bathroom. After I stopped laughing and gathered myself together (where is the oxygen when you need it?) I stopped by her house to wrap her back up and used packaging tape to get it to stay. I thought duct tape would work better, but for some reason the idea of me and duct tape coming at my mom seemed to worry her. I don't understand why either.

Weather: There is absolutely nothing more self defeating then shoveling snow only to turn around and see the ground is already covered in a thin layer of new snow. Wednesday I shoveled 3 times. Thursday I shoveled here at home once...snow blowing at the end to clear real heavy stuff from plow. Sun came out and by the end of day my driveway was dry. And because I'm a wonderful daughter, I went to my parents and cleared their driveway...which included a lot of chipping at ice and compacted snow.

Therefore, I'd now like to make an announcement. I'm done with winter. I'm moving on to Spring. I am putting away my shovels, my ice scraper, and my stupid bulky winter jacket. I will bring them out again in December...maybe November...but not before. I'll let you know how it works out, but don't be surprised if you see me shaking my fist at the sky cursing Mother Nature.

Me: Exhausted, but loving things. I told Andy the other night that I feel like I have 30-some balls that I am juggling and I have no help. Of course, if someone tries to help and takes a ball it'll throw the rhythm all off and I will end up dropping them all. Therefore, don't distract me, ask before you grab a ball, and help hold me up if I start to fall over for exhaustion.

The Girls: Sassy as ever. Though that is what I always say. Honestly, they are doing good. They are both growing so quickly and I'm noticing little changes in them as they get older. I'll get more into them in upcoming posts...which I'm hoping are soon. But here is a little story... On the way home from the store tonight with Kalli, we were both quiet when all of a sudden she started singing. I listened closely and heard her singing B-I-N-G-O. Only it wasn't Bingo. It was K-A-L-L-I. And the beginning words were: There was a person who had a kid and Kalli was her name-o. She went through the entire song until she was clapping all the letters and then everything went back to complete silence. I smiled silently because really....that girl is flippin' adorable!

Happy Ground Hog Day???

2010-02-02T19:48:00.005-06:00

So, how was your day?

Here is where I laugh wildly to the point where I seriously might go crazy and be taken to the funny farm. Where I'll be happy to see those nice young men, in their clean white coats, and they're coming to take me away!! HA HA

Today started off like most days, I got up and got my girlies ready for school. We ate, packed up, bundled up, and then we went outside to wait for the bus. It was 15 minutes until school started when I decided to call the bus company. Because of construction on the highway and the new snow on the ground, bus was running late. (Hello...u knew this before starting day off...plan ahead!) By the time the person came back on the line to tell me the driver was going to be to our home in 10 minutes I looked at my clock to see that in 10 minutes school would be starting. I let them know that I would just bring the girl's since then they would get to school on time. Luckily we only live about 5 minutes from school.

And I tossed the kids, the wheelchair, backpacks and everything in the van. I drove over to the school and handed them off to the para that works with Cassie before realizing that under my jacket I was still wearing my jammie top and that I had no socks on. Look, I've become one of THOSE moms!

I got home, finished up the shoveling, took a quick shower, and headed to my appointment across town. Nothing like feeling like a chicken with their head cut off.

After my appointment, I went to Target as I had something that I had to return and did a little shopping. I was almost all the way around the store when my phone rang and it was my mom. I answered to find out that my mom was calling from the back of an ambulance. I would have loved to thing 'awesome, how'd you get that kind of hook-up?', but instead I answered with "Why?!".

To attempt to keep a long story somewhat short....she had fallen in her work parking lot and came down hard on her leg which was bent under her. After a lot of adrenaline making its way through my system, some calling around, and making sure my brother would get my dad from work...I headed up to the hospital to meet up with my mom.

Again trying to keep this somewhat short....right now it is 8:23pm. I've been at the hospital since about 12:30 and my mom is now in surgery. She broke her leg....and saying this is a HUGE understatement. She did a job on her leg and is getting a plate, screws, and cadaver bone put in her leg.

She went into surgery at 6:30 and I was told that it would be a 1.5-2 hour surgery. I'm waiting for the doctor to come in to tell me how it went and that she is in recovery. Where she will spend another hour. I am looking to meet up with her back in her room and talk maybe for a few minutes before I head home and let her get some sleep. I know from experience that after surgeries you are normally drowsy and want to sleep...though if I remember correctly my mom is wide awake after surgeries.

I, however, am not wide awake at this moment. It has been a somewhat stress inducing day and I'm getting worn out. Adrenaline is wearing off and now my body wants to crash. I do, however, want to be sure that she is okay and that everything is okay so that I can actually sleep.

On the good side...tomorrow is a late start day for the girls. This means we don't have to be to school until an hour after the normal start time. Then I am spending the day at school volunteering....or at least that is the plan as of now.

I'm now off to fidget until the doctor comes to tell me how things went.
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UPDATE: The doctor came out to talk to me about 20 minutes after I saved this post. He said that everything went as well as could be expected. He did however say that it was like putting together a jigsaw puzzle and that she really smashed the bone. This was at 8:45. The doctor said that she would be in recovery for about 45 minutes.

Then I waited. Tony and Kelli came up and we waited. Finally around 10, they called out to the waiting room from recovery and said that she was doing alright, but her oxygen levels weren't staying up on their own so they needed her C-pap machine that we had with us. They came out to get it and told us that she would be in her room in about 30 minutes.

We headed to her room and waited some more. At 11:15 my mom finally made it back to her room. The nurse that had been in recovery with her told me that they had someone come up from respiratory to hook up oxygen to her c-pap to help get her levels up. (when I asked they said they think the reason they aren't staying up is because of the pain meds making her breathe more shallow) They plan on watching her all night to make sure it stays up...when they took it in the room it was at 85 percent and they had her put her c-pap mask back on.

My mom is hurting very badly and even with the pain meds was in obvious pain. It was very hard for me to see. My mom is always so strong and comes out of surgeries quite well. This time it isn't so. I know that this surgery was pretty major and that once the pain is under control the person I know as so strong will be back, but seeing her like this made me want to just crawl in bed next to her, stroke her head, and try to keep her safe. I half thought about just staying there the night to be close to her and watch her.

I'm hoping that over the night the pain meds start to do their thing and that she has a little break from the extreme pain. I don't like my mommy hurting...that much I've really learned today.

It is now 12:30 in the morning...I'm gunna catch some sleep before the kiddos are up and ready to go. Thank goodness for 1 hour late start tomorrow at school. :)

Oh...and by the way. The groundhog sucks! He always sees his flippin shadow!

It's much easier to breathe now.

2010-01-31T22:59:00.001-06:00

Alright, tonight you will be getting a couple posts because....well to be completely honest....because there is no way to connect the topics that I want to write about and not seem like I'm crazier then you already think I am. :)

Let's begin with the fact that I seem to be one of the only people that can hurt myself by doing absolutely nothing. Literally, nothing. Example: A while back I was sitting pretzel style on the floor with some of Kalli's class. One of my legs was falling asleep so I went to move my leg and suddenly I have sharp pain in my ankle. From that moment on it hurt to bend my ankle. I could stand on it, balance on it, but couldn't walk without pain. Explain that one.

I finally surrendered and went to see someone about it and they determined that I had a strained ligament. Not sprained, but strained. I would like someone to explain to me how you can possibly strain something you weren't even really using? I'm not sure the medical answer to that question, but I'm going to go with 'You must be special like me. And also the Body Parts Against Paula (BPAP) must want to start up meetings again.

This past weekend I was cleaning up and doing some dishes and I had the drawer under the oven open. I went to push it shut with my foot and ended up hurting my ankle. Again. The same hurt feeling I did before which means that while pushing shut a small metal drawer, I strained a ligament. Yes, I am a delicate flower. Thank you for asking.

I find it absolutely ridiculous, but there isn't much I can do about it. It is against BPAP rules for me to interfere. This leaves me to the advise I was given by the doctor on how to make it better. Heat, ibuprofen, and rest it. Then I was told that because I had arthritis in my ankles (knees, hips, lower back, and hands.....see I seriously am special. And broken. And only 31) I should keep using the joint so that it doesn't lose motion. Now if that isn't contradictory. So I'm resting, but not resting. Using heat on it when I'm not resting. And trying to find some drugs stronger then ibuprofen to knock myself the heck out. Because seriously?? I'm suing BPAP and my body.

Onto another one of my issues. I have many and picking just one is not an easy task. Oh, who am I kidding, it is very easy as this issue rules a good part of my life. And it is either getting worse or I'm just noticing it more.

OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. An anxiety disorder that is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Sound like fun? Yeah....not so much. Though I still can't stop some of the things that bother me or make it difficult to breathe, I am finding some humor in it. "Laugh or you'll cry" is how I see it.

My most stand out compulsions that I obsess about have to do with straight lines and things being lined up "right". I actually take time and thought when opening the blinds in the morning to be sure they are even. My neighbors (bachelors) have blinds that are WAY uneven and it makes me wanna scream, run to their door and make them let me fix them. But I don't want to be that crazy lady that lives next door. So instead, when I see it, I practice breathing deep and wonder if they realize how hard it is to breathe when they are uneven. Which they ALWAYS are. And of course, now that I've brought it up I can't stop thinking about it and the air is thicker then normal. Look what I do for you, my one loyal reader.

To make myself feel a little better and show how much easier it is to breathe now let's look at a picture of my nice even blinds. Yes the one on the left isn't even all the way across and it is bothering me now that I've looked at this picture. Crap.

Moving on before I go crazy looking at the picture and my blinds.

I have an area up in my living room where I have toys for the little beans that I watch. There are six open bins for things to go in and everything has it's place and I like it when it looks like this. This is of course when Kaitlynn is not here or she is napping. I clean, she messes, I clean again. We have our jobs down path. Lately though, she likes to move things from their 'home' to another things 'home'. Meaning that she will put things in different bins. I'm sure this is because she is a toddler and likes to move things. Or it could be the fact that she knows Auntie has issues and she is just trying to push my buttons and see how long it takes to break me.

In fact, looking at this picture now, in the bottom right bin there is a cup that shouldn't be in there. That belongs in the penguin. Crap.

Alright, I've looked over this picture and I know that this one will help calm me. This is how books should look (except at the library....Becky told me that it wouldn't work in a real library because you wouldn't be able to find anything. Though wouldn't it be easier to breathe?) Since I was younger I would organize my books like this. I remember playing library and school with my cousin and I'd organize all my books on my shelves just like this. It calms me as I carefully check sizes and line them up so that all the spines are even. Just look....don't you feel like you are at a relaxing meditation spa?

Me too....

That is until this little bean wakes up to undo all the tranquility in my life.

Good thing I love her as much as I do. And that she goes home every so often so that I can clean again.

Cassie's Birthday #9

2010-01-31T21:46:00.004-06:00

Saturday we finally were able to have Cassie's birthday party. While, yes, it is a month after her actual birthday, it makes her day separate from Christmas. Besides, it lets everyone get past the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Cassie had a wonderful time playing with her cousin Kyra, whom she doesn't get to see too much, opening and playing with new toys, and eating cake and ice cream.

This year we got her a Littlest Pet Shop cake. It was cute, a hit with the girls, and delicious. Also, side note, Cassie had to take a breath with 3 candles still lit. So yeah...she has 3 boyfriends. And then collapsed to the floor saying "NOOOoooo" when we asked who her 3 boyfriends were. :) A good time was had.

Cassie recieved a lot of wonderful presents including 3 DS games, 2 books, a caterpillar WebKinz named 'Jibby' that the girls renamed 'Mr Pickles' but I still call 'Jibby'.

Cassie's favorite gift, however, was given by her Uncle Tony and Auntie Kelli. Yes, Tony, I am giving you credit for "winning" though I'm still going to say that "Tony one" :) It's a game to see who can get Cassie and/or Kalli the best gift. Most of the time Tony is the only one playing, but it is still fun to watch.

So you are asking what Tony got for little Miss Cassie?

Please meet Cassie's new pet....being watched by her older pet.

Buffy is interested in the new pet and yet a little scared as the ball rolls towards her.

Here is a better picture of Cassie's new pet gerbil. Cassie was holding some paper tonight for the not-named-yet gerbil to chew on and aide in their bonding.

And here is where we start to see how responsible my 9 year old can really be. GULP!!

A mess of completely random things

2010-01-26T21:25:00.000-06:00

This past weekend Andy and I came home to watch a movie together, something that we rarely get to do. Andy puts the movie in, I go sit on the couch, and I sat there fidgeting and trying to sit on my hands so that I didn't chew on them. I couldn't concentrate on the movie and I felt very unsettled just sitting there doing one thing. I've become such a multi-tasker that to sit and just do one thing now feels impossible.

I asked Andy if we could set my sewing machine in the room so I could work on my project while we watched the movie and he looked at me like I had two heads. Yes, I agree that it is sad that I had to pull out something else to do while watching a movie, however, it was much easier to watch the movie when I had something for my hands to do.
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The other night I asked Andy to bring down Kalli's chapsticks, lip balms, lip glosses, and any other word you can come up with for stuff that you apply to your lips. I then asked Kalli to go get any other ones that she could find. Mind you, Andy and I had already looked all over the place. Kalli left the room, came back, went to another room, and then back again dropping about another 5 chapsticks on my desk. Seriously, I think the girl is hiding them in case of emergency.

I decided to take a few pictures of all of them just to show how serious her obsession is. And I am not joking in the least when I warn you that the next person that buys her anything that is applied to the lips.....or face for that matter....will regret it.

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I've been slowly making progress on my second sewing. It would be going quicker if I didn't have this problem by the time the kids are all asleep. The problem is called exhaustion. Here is a picture I took a bit ago...I'm a little farther now. I wish I had more time that I could devote to it, but days are so busy and I do need some sleep at night. And sewing while exhausted seems like a recipe for disaster.

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I've been having my niece, Kaitlynn, quite a bit lately. The other day when I had her she was hanging out in her highchair while I got some dishes done and the kitchen straightened. When I turned around this is what I found.

The poor peanut had just passed out. I let her sleep like this while we all ate supper, and fed her when she woke up. Just a note - she loves spaghetti and feeding herself. A 14 month old that loves feeding herself ends up being quite messy.
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The past 8 weeks my friend, Becky, has been off of work since having Brady. I've been able to spend lots of time with the both of them and am not looking forward to Becky having to go back to work. However, I do look very forward to having Brady to myself to spoil when she is working. I foresee a lot of cuddling and cooing at each other in our future.

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We recently attended a meeting for the Happily Ever After Animal shelter in Marion Wisconsin. Everyone was asked to bring a dish to pass and one of the desserts caught my eye. I'm glad I had my camera with me because I found this dessert extremely disturbing. I never checked to see how much of it was eaten, but there was no way I could get past the look of it to try it.

I just can't get past the look..... Agreed?

I used to be sorta cool

2010-01-19T22:11:00.003-06:00

Okay...ready for too much information? You've been warned.

Kalli has constipation. This is an issue that she has had her entire life. She has spent probably about 98% of her life constipated. This is an every day problem. And I have to tell you that spending every day thinking about someone else's bowels is not how I thought I'd spend my life.

Let's flash back to before I had children. I went about life without thinking once about anyone's bowels. Even while babysitting, I never paid that much attention and I thought it was weird if the parents asked if the baby had any poopy diapers while they were gone.

Coming back to the present, I spend my days not only keeping track of my children's bowel habits, but also those of any children I watch that day. This would be one of those things that they don't prepare you for when you are pregnant or thinking about having children. This is also one of those things that I never thought I'd be posting about. Yet with all the talking about it we do here, I thought..."why not?"

This is all to get to this little story.

Yesterday Kalli told me that she had to poop. This is code for 'follow me mother as I wish to talk your ear off in the bathroom as I sit on the throne and then have you make sure that my back end is completely clean'

Usually Kalli will talk and talk and talk and....you get the idea...while we bond in the bathroom. She mostly talks about school, make believe friends, jokes, or little things that she has noticed. And for the most part I find myself leaning on the wall nodding my head waiting for my role of making sure her back end is completely clean.

Yesterday, however, Kalli decided to talk about her poop. As she pooped. She talked about how her belly hurts a lot because she doesn't poop much. She talked about how her poop looks like rabbit poop. And then she told me every time she pooped a piece before finally telling me that she was finished and how many pieces she had pooped.

Yes, folks...this is my life now. And I used to be kinda cool.

I'm hoping to get a post done tomorrow during the day. One with a little less sh*tty of a topic.

January 13, 2010

2010-01-13T21:03:00.004-06:00

A pretty uneventful day today as I didn't lock myself out of anything today.

I had my niece for most of the day and we did some playing and cleaning. She is an awesome helper. She is the best emptier I've ever seen. If you have anything you need emptied, let her know and she is happy to help.

Tonight I made a new meal for dinner and it got good reviews. The girls of course are picky and therefore aren't the biggest fan of anything much. Andy and I truly enjoyed dinner and we have decided to add it to our 'favs' list. It was an easy Parmesan Chicken type meal.

Later, after cleaning up dinner, I got a chance to sit down and do some sewing on my next project. As you may remember I made a total of 8 cube-blocks and then decided that seriously what am I going to do with many more?

Therefore, I am now making my next project. Or at least trying :) Kelli, my almost sister-in-law, is helping by answering questions and giving me some directions. Okay, maybe lots of directions. This is my first time making anything like this and Kelli is good...she has been doing this for many many years. I feel accomplished that I did the sewing and cutting of the second side here at home. Yeah me!

Here is a sneak peek of what it is that I'm making. And no...it is not a quilt. :)

What a day...

2010-01-12T21:11:00.002-06:00

This morning I had a doctor appointment after which I came outside to go and found out that my keys were in my van. In my locked van. Where I couldn't get them.

Yeah...that right there makes a day good.

Fortunately, Andy's work wasn't very far away. Unfortunately, I had to call his work and talk to his supervisor to get to him. He was able to take an early lunch and come be my knight in shining armor. Once I was in my van with my keys in hand I told my husband how wonderful he was and how much I loved him.

I then headed to a school that my children don't go to. The librarian that works at my girls' school splits her time between two schools and was telling me a while ago how she has no parents that volunteer to help at the second school. I am a nice person and told her that on days that she is there and I'm available I could come help her there. Today was the first day that I went.

This other school is a very different demographic then my girls' school. The behavior of the kids is different there, there are close to no parent volunteers, and the program they use for rules and consequences is different from the girls' school. It is interesting to see the differences and it reassures me that I'm happy with where my kids are.

January 11, 2010

2010-01-08T23:09:00.005-06:00

So many things to write about and yet I can't seem to sit down to write about them. And then when I do get a chance to sit down to write, I can't remember what it is that I wanted to write about in the first place.

My mind...it is a frightening place.
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It has been decided that this summer Cassie will be doing baseball again through the Miracle League and because we like a challenge, we will be enrolling Kalli in soccer. When I first asked her if she wanted to play this summer she said, "but I don't know how to play soccer."

After explaining that they would teach her, I thought about the fact that we may end up being the family that has to be at two different games at the same time. This will make our summer interesting. Let's add to that fact that, if games do overlap, the girls' fan clubs will have to somehow be in two places at the same time.

So, I'm taking up donations for Kalli's soccer education. She has to be registered this month yet or she will be put on the waiting list. The cost (and I find this a little ridiculous) for the 6 year old girls is $40. Seriously? I have to pay $40 to watch my daughter run around playing bunch ball? At this age there are no positions, no passing the ball, and no heading the ball (at least not on purpose). At this age everyone tries to get the ball (doesn't matter if you are on the same team), you are lucky if your child goes towards the correct net, and if your child is playing goalie at that point they more then likely are kicking dust around, doing cartwheels or something just as entertaining.

When my brother started in soccer at about this same age my mom called it bunch ball because all the kids bunched around the ball following it where ever it went. And it's true...it is bunch ball. Of course now, when you really think about it I'll be paying $40 to bring Kalli to and sit through who knows what kind of weather to watch bunch ball. Anyone want to help pay for it? I'm not to proud to ask for donations. In fact...remember her birthday is in May, if you'd like to give a couple dollars towards soccer early for her birthday present, I'd appreciate it.
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In the last post I included a picture of the baby cube blocks that I had made as my first sewing project. I've now made 8 cubes and have decided that I don't know many people with little children so really I didn't need to make any more. Therefore, I went to my almost sister-in-law, Kelli, and asked for help in finding another project. Over this past weekend we found something for me to make and with Kelli's help I know a little bit of what I'm doing. I'll need her help at some point, but this is how learning goes. Right?

As I make more progress with my new project I'll post pictures.
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So much else has happened, but I don't even know where to begin. I will work on getting you up to date in the next couple days. I think I've had enough of a vacation for a little bit :)

Here is something that changed today. Now mind you that I HATE pictures of me, so just posting this should show personal growth on my part.

I've gone from being very blond back to more of my original color. It is actually quite a change and seems very dark now with some highlights just on the top. I like it, but it is going to take a little bit for me to stop wondering who that girl that keeps following me past all of the mirrors is.
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Every weekday morning it is the same old thing. I get up, get dressed, and head downstairs with the girls' clothes, and push them through their morning routines. Let's get dressed girls...as I dress them. Time to eat girls...as I make their breakfasts, pack any lunches that need to make, and try to eat a little myself. Let's brush hair...as I brush hair and put tails in as needed. Let's get ready to go out to bus...as I aide both girls is getting all their winter gear on. Head outside ladies...as I escort them out into the garage, carrying their backpacks for them, making sure gloves and scarves are on snug. I help Cassie into her chair and push her down to the bus that is usually waiting at the end of the driveway. (Side Note: I can't wait til spring when getting jackets and such doesn't take so long and therefore we may be outside before the bus gets here.) The girls get onto the bus and I wave, blow kisses, and sign 'I love you' until the bus pulls away. (Unless, of course, I pile them into the van and bring them to school so I can volunteer at school that day.)

Then I go inside and take a deep breath before falling into a chair.

Every weekday morning is the same thing. Push the girls through the routine, breathe deep when I have to do everything for them, and see them off to school. And as frustrating as it can be, I wouldn't change it at all.

Happy New Year!!

2010-01-03T01:27:00.006-06:00

Alright. It's been a while. And I've been hearing all about it from my family. Something about it being a New Year, after Christmas, and that lots has happened. After a little bit it all starts to sound like the teacher in Charlie Brown. Wah Wah wah wah...

Long story short...Yes, it is a new year. It is now 2010 and wow, where did that time go? It wasn't that long ago that everyone was worried about Y2K and all the computers of the world crashing. Though, seriously, I never saw it happening. It did cause a wonderful hysteria and flooded stores with people stocking up on non-perishables, generators, and other "necessary" things. I found it all a little foolish.

This year we all spent New Year's at my parents' house. The girls hung out with my mom and dad. At least for the most part. Andy and I visited with my brother, Tony; his fiance, Kelli; and two of his friends. It ended up to be a very relaxed night and it left me with no hang over for the morning.

Sure there was that one part of me that would have liked to go out to the bar, but for some reason, I'm not a fan of the whole hangover thing that would have followed. Besides, New Years is not a good time for this lady to go out to the bar. Three words for you: Cheap Champagne - Bad.
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Cassie still has her hand in a splint but is now able to walk carefully with her loft strand crutches. She keeps trying to tell us that she is fine and that she can do things by herself. However, she said the same thing right before she tripped, fell, and fractured her thumb. A point that I keep bringing up.

This Tuesday her and I will be making the trip to see the orthopedic doctor to see what he has to say. I'm not pushing for anything in particular, but I will be bringing up the fact that she uses her hand more then most people. Between crutching, transferring, and crawling I am worried about the amount of stress that would be put on her thumb if she didn't have some kind of support. I guess I would just prefer a cast be put on until we know it is all healed. It would suck if it didn't heal right or was made worse because it wasn't protected. In another word...it would stink!

On the night of Cassie's fall, Tony and Kelli came over to visit for a bit and show us their new puppy. (pictures in a minute) Tony sat next to Cassie to check out her splinted hand and said that when he heard about what had happened he thought that it really stunk. He then told Cassie that he tried to think of other things that stunk, but all he could come up with was a skunk. This is where he pulled out a WebKinz skunk out of his jacket. Her face lit up and I'm not kidding at all when I say that skunk has gone pretty much everywhere with her since that moment.

I'm hoping that she realizes that it won't be going to school with her on Monday. ::HUGE GRIN::

I will be bringing the girls to school Monday morning so that I can talk with the people that will need details on what is going on with Cassie. I need to discuss with them the fact that she won't be able to go to recesses for a while. Number one I don't want her to fall again at all, but also she can't get her glove on that hand and crawling around in snow would chance getting the splint wet. I'm sure that her teacher, principal, and her aides will understand perfectly and then we will work on finding something for her to do during her recesses that will make everyone happy.
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Alright, back to the puppy.

This year for Christmas, my brother got his fiance a puppy. Or at least that is the story. I think that he wanted a puppy and this is a way for him to have one too. :)

Actually, I know they both wanted one and now they have one. It is a little girl, a pit bull, named Maggie. She is about 8-9 weeks old and absolutely adorable. Take a look.

In this picture she is the laundry room laying on our dirty clothes. Obviously a good place to get some serious napping done. I'm working on getting a little video of her, but she isn't all that cooperative and what I've gotten leaves a lot to be desired . She is squirmy and so far not real keen on staying put. Go figure.
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One of the things that I received for Christmas this year is a sewing machine from my mother in law. I'm very happy with it as I would like to be able to start making more things including at some point clothes for the girls and other fun stuff. I'm working up to the clothes though as I'm very much a sewing virgin. I had home-ec in middle school, but that was a long time ago and I barely remember what I learned there.

Tonight, though, I was able to make a couple soft cubes for a certain little boy I know. He isn't exactly up to the age of playing with blocks yet, but I figure they are soft for when he starts and nice bright colors. Becky, act surprised when I give these to you. :)

Can't wait to see what else I can make. I've been spending a lot of time googling things lately like 'free sewing pattern', 'sewing for beginners', and ' sewing patterns for idiots'. Okay, not really the last one, though I wonder what I would get from that one.
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Maybe my next post will include resolutions for this year. That is if I decide to do resolutions or think of some I want to do.

Let's make believe I'm a horse.

2009-12-28T22:17:00.004-06:00

If I was a horse, I would in the midst of getting put out of my misery. Since last night, I've gone downhill with a cough that won't give in and a bit of a drippy nose. I'm now hacking up a lung and praying that my head doesn't explode. Seriously....my head is just throbbing from the pressure and pain. I think part of the problem is that I have my shunt in my head and it only allows so much fluid through at a time. When pressures increase from coughing, the fluid can't move very fast and it causes pain. Lots of pain. And a little light-headed-ness. And during coughing fits things in my vision start to go black. Now I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure that is a bad thing.

I keep waiting to wake up on the floor with Andy looking over me. Nice Trip??

In the meantime, here is my new best friends.

Aren't they beautiful??

Life is just full of interesting twists!

2009-12-27T22:51:00.003-06:00

So, earlier today I was thinking about possibly writing a post tonight. However, what to post about? This is the hard question.

I could post about how many gifts are around our Christmas tree and that I can't even see part of my tree. In fact, getting close to the tree is a feat in itself.

However, we ended up having some excitement tonight so that is what I get to post about.

This afternoon my mom and dad brought the girls home and as Cassie was coming towards the door she tripped on a cord (that was plugging in my Hippo) and fell. Upon falling she grabbed her hand. I was right at the door and called for Andy's help to get her in. We got her in and she was holding her thumb sobbing. I got her ice and she held it there for about 15 minutes. At this point I looked at her thumb and saw that though we had iced it right away, it still was quite swollen. Also, it hurt Cassie for me to just touch it.

At this point I decided that we would go into First Care to have it checked out. I really didn't want to have to go in later in the evening when it still wasn't doing good.

We arrived, got checked in, had the doctor look at it, got x-rays taken, and waited. While we waited I took a few pictures with my phone and we played a few games. Yeah for iphones!! Here are the pictures of Cassie's thumb.

Just a little swollen, eh? And I don't think that this picture even does it justice. Fast forward several hours....my gosh they were busy in that ER/First Care tonight. When the doctor finally came in to let us know what was going on Cassie's thumb was still very swollen, her ice pack (that she had kept on from home til that point) was warm, and some serious bruising was starting to form.

The news that the doctor delivered made Cassie cry. Her thumb was fractured. It is a small fracture, but still....broken. They put her in a hard splint, wrapped it with an Ace Bandage. She has to wear this until she gets in to see an orthopedic doctor. From there, they will decide what they want to do.

Now can we just talk for a second about the guilt that mothers face when their child is injured? While we were waiting at the hospital and I was looking at the swelling and the bruising that was starting, I figured it was broken. I also googled 'signs of a broken thumb' while we waited. Of course, because Cassie is who she is, I didn't say anything about this.

As I put her to bed tonight and watched her struggle to crawl up the stairs, get situated in bed, and took a picture of her hand/arm to share with ya'll.....I couldn't help but be thankful that she is such a strong little girl. The doctor even asked if her thumb was throbbing. When Cassie said no, the doctor said that she is a tough young lady. And that she is. She is hating the struggles that this is causing, not enjoying having to come up with new ways to do things, and frustrated with things that she can't do for a while. However, she is dealing with it and being a trooper. I knew that one day her strong will and stubborn as a mule attitude would work in our favor.

In the meantime Cassie is having a blast trying to figure out how to get around. And I'm being entirely sarcastic when I say this. She can't use her loft-strand crutches because she needs her thumb for stability and such. Right now, can't put any pressure there. She can't crawl as she normally does at night when she takes her braces off because she only has one good hand. I've told her to try doing a hand, elbow type crawl, but she is having troubles with balance and such. And this isn't even to mention the facts that it is her right hand so buckling up in the car or wheelchair is impossible. Pushing herself in the wheelchair, doing transfers, eating, and getting dressed is all just a little more interesting at this point. I find myself laughing more and getting dirty looks from her. She doesn't see the humor in this at all.

Tonight before bed she was trying to write with her left hand because what if she is still in this splint when she goes back to school next week? Luckily she has always been pretty ambidextrous. I also find the timing pretty good since she is off for another week before having to go to school. This way she can get some time to heal, get used to things, and hopefully get in to see the doctor without having to miss school.

Life is so fun some times :)

And because I wanted Cassie to be able to show you things for herself and so you could get a sense her excitement....a video.

2009-12-26T14:06:00.001-06:00

Testing out blogging from my iPhone. Hoping it works. I'd it does, I'll be able to blog small posts when I have a chance without having to be at the computer. Nice? I thought so too

Recap

2009-12-25T18:49:00.006-06:00

Editors Note: This post is 2073 words long. Holy Crumpets! Grab a snack, a beverage, and enjoy!!
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Anyone else feel like we've been running a marathon lately? I sure do.

This past few weeks it is like I've been going and going. It is finally starting to catch up though, and I find myself having to take it slower and relax some. Fortunately, this next week we have nothing going on...with the exception of Andy having to work some. The girls are off of school and my week is pretty free. It'll be a nice week to get caught up on things and maybe get a little organized. You know, like a find homes for all the new things that the girls got for Christmas.

Now where to start on getting you caught up? It's been a while, I know.

On the 18th of this month the girls had their Christmas Concerts at school. Cassie's (2nd and 3rd grades) was from 12-12:45. Kalli's (Kindergarten and 1st grade) was 2-2:45. I spent the morning volunteering in the library at school, and then met up with my mom, brother, and Andy to watch Cassie's concert. She did absolutely wonderful and the most touching part was when one of her classmates, who has been learning to play guitar, played with his dad and accompanied the group as they sang "Silent Night". Her group also sang...Snow Angels; Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily; Happy Holidays; Christmas Bells; and The Ride of the One Horse Open Sleigh.

After her part of the concert, Andy Tony and I went to lunch while my mom went to pick my dad from work. We then all met back at the school for Kalli's concert. Her group sang African Noel; S-A-N-T-A; The Mitten Song; In the Toy Shop; Jingle Jive; and Great Big Star. She did a wonderful job and I was surprised how well all the kids did with all families there. After Kalli's concert Andy and I said goodbye to my parents and Tony and headed to the library so that I could help out a little more until the girls' day was done and we could bring them home.

During the time in between things I found a moment to talk with the music teacher. Mind you, with all the volunteering I do at the school, all the teachers and staff know me pretty well, and I let her know how much I loved that she had brought Christmas back into the school concert. At the school the girls were at last year it was a "winter" concert. This year was a concert held during the winter, yet it was a Christmas concert.

The teacher, Ms. V, informed me that when she first started at this school she went out on a limb and tried Christmas music. At the end of the first concert, an elderly gentleman came to her with tears in his eyes and personally thanked her for putting Christmas back in the concert. From that point on she has continued and has gotten a lot of positive responses. I love that she pushed the limit that little bit and that it worked out. Winter concerts are nice, but a Christmas concert is just that little bit more special and helps get the kids in the spirit and excited about the holiday.
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On the last day of school before winter break the girls each had a Christmas party in their individual classrooms and I was able to help out in Kalli's classroom. Nothing like sugaring up kids before sending them home. Except...wait...one of those kids are mine. Damn!

I went around the school handing out gifts (homemade hot chocolate) to all the teachers that work directly with my girls, the librarian, the principal, and then left a large container with a note in the teachers' lounge. The last stop was with the principal and I talked with her briefly before the school day was done.

When I first signed the girls up at this new school this past summer I was quite anxious about the change. For Kalli she would be just starting Kindergarten there. No big deal. However, for Cassie, she would be starting 3rd grade. She was established at her old school. All the kids knew about her "disability" and that it was no big deal. At the new school, would the kids be so understanding? Would she have friends? I should have just looked at my little girl and known that it is impossible not to love her.

I thanked the principal (Ms. S) for working with us and for having such a wonderful school. I don't think principals get the credit due for the work they have to do....working with troubled children, parents that don't care or are difficult, and trying to keep track of (in the case of our school...400-some kids) It can't be easy. And yet the girls' school and the children that go there seem pretty tight-knit and accepting. Ms. S informed me that she is also impressed with how well the other children accepted Cassie. She said that it is like they don't even see that she is a little different. I personally, love it.

Ms. S also thanked me for being such a large part of the school...I volunteer any free days in the kindergarten classroom and library. (so much actually that they are trying to get me to apply for a few entry type jobs) I enjoy being appreciated. I've already told them they will either get sick of seeing me or just hire me on. And after the girls' concert I introduced my parents, brother, and Andy to Ms. S and she put her arm around me and said that I was the newest staff member. Maybe I have an in for when the girls are grown and I do need a job?? For now though I will volunteer, maybe sub for the noon monitors when they aren't available (if I get that application in), and enjoy getting my baby fixes through other peoples' children. :)
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Because we are procrastinators, professional procrastinators in fact, we finally took the girls to see Santa last weekend. You know...the weekend before Christmas. Good thing Santa listens close and has the elves working 24/7 this time of the year. The girls visited and I got a few pictures. I was quite impressed with Santa as when he saw Cassie in her wheelchair he got out of his chair and knelt down to talk with her and get pictures with the girls. It is the little things like this that just make me smile. He didn't need to...she could have transferred to him, or just sat next to him in her chair, but he went the extra step to get more down to her level. I appreciated it. Such a good Santa...he is on my good list.

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Christmas Eve morning we headed to breakfast like we do every year to celebrate Cassie's birthday. Because her birthday is Christmas Eve we have a breakfast which is hers and she gets one birthday gift from grandma. From there things become Christmas. We then celebrate her birthday in January on a day that we pick just for her.

This year when we headed to breakfast she had one less tooth to eat with. The day before, she had told me that one of her teeth was bothering her (aka: it is loose, I have issues with textures especailly in my mouth....therefore....please look, but DO NOT touch, determine if it is loose enough, and pull it. Without moving it. She likes to keep things interesting. I did get it out though as it was only connected by like 1 thread. Not any of Cassie's doing though. She won't wiggle teeth. They have to be pushed out by the next tooth. Because otherwise, they move. And we don't like things moving in our mouth. gulp.

After breakfast, Becky and Brady (the now 3 week old little sir fabulous) came to exchange gifts with the girls and to visit at my parent's. The girls are completely enamored with their new little cousin. Even Kalli likes him. Well, until he starts to move around more and following her. Then all bets are off. This picture is from a few days earlier when the girls were sitting together to hold him. Cassie is going to be such a super babysitter some day and a good mommy. She adores babies and young children that aren't her sister.

She does like her sister, but I've been informed that her sister is annoying sometimes and talks too much. All I can say is AMEN sister! No...really though, I used to feel pretty much the same way about Cassie. I used to ask her speech therapist if now that we got her to talk could we now get her to stop. Please.

I have hope that someday Kalli too will slow down the talking some, but I'm not holding my breath.
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Later in the day on Christmas Eve we opened gifts from everyone. (my parents, brother-Tony, to be sister in law-Kelli, and us) This year we had taken the girls shopping for each other. Talk about interesting. I've never been up and down the aisles at Target that much. Andy was with the opposite child browsing in a different area of the store. After going through the aisles for the 10 billionth time (ok...I exaggerate, but not much) I chose 3 things for the girl I had with me to pick for the other girl. Of course, at first they pick the thing that they would like the most. I then ask if that is what they think their sister would like. This question is followed by a stare that looks like I have 3 heads and a questioning look that is begging to know if this is a trick question.

"If your sister was here and I showed her these same 3 things, what would she choose", I ask rephrasing my question. The answer this time is something that I know shows that they aren't thinking of themselves. Selfless-ness is something that I really am trying to work on with the girls. I don't want them to think of Christmas, or life for that matter, as something that is only about them. It is about others and making other people happy sometimes too.

I took this picture of the girls response after they gave each other their gifts. I think they got it.

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This morning was Christmas morning and the girls woke us at what I refer to as "the butt crack of dawn". It is a time of the day that I am not a fan of. We got up though, because we are wonderful parents, and let the girls open their Santa gifts. They must have been on the good list because they got a couple of the things that they asked for and a couple they didn't even ask for. Cassie got a DVD of her favorite show on the planet....Cats. Best part: as she tore the first part of the paper off it was back side up and she said, "could it be?" she then tore the rest of the paper off, turned it around, and squealed. I've never seen her so happy about a gift. Of course she watched it and also watched the bonus features (the making of Cats, in this case). I think that Cassie is one of the only people that I know that LOVES to watch all the bonus features for movies. This includes the producer/director talk overs and such.

Christmas was very good to us this year. And with the exception of Kalli having a little bit of a cold, Cassie having a little bit of a runny nose, and my cold-induced asthma we are all healthy, happy, and enjoying time together. I'm actually not scared of the girls being off for the next week. Cuddling with them and playing sounds like the plan. Maybe there will some days that we stay in pjs all day. Who knows.

A certain person, however, did find Christmas to be exhausting.

Cassie came to get me when she saw that Kalli was sleeping. She is in my mom's chair here and she is O-U-T! Also...yes, those are roller skates on her feet. They are a gift from Becky and Kalli fell asleep with them on. That is my girlie!

Hope everyone had a superb Christmas, stayed safe, and that Santa was good to you. Also, since I mention birthdays on here. Happy Birthday to my first-ever baby, Cassie. Hard to believe that she is 9. When did that happen???

Cuteness Explodes

2009-12-22T22:12:00.003-06:00

So I'm working on a better post, but what can I say...time is something I can't seem to find lately. We are just a few days away from Cassie's birthday and then Christmas. For some reason it has really snuck up on me this year. I don't feel ready at all.

To keep you over until tomorrow, here is a few pictures that I took during my first photo shoot with my nephew, Brady. He is 2.5 weeks old here and the cutest little boy I know.
Don't you want to just melt from the cuteness? I know that I do. I'm just lucky that Andy is okay with me being in love with another 'little' man.

Ugh!

2009-12-16T21:41:00.004-06:00

So I had started this post last night before bed, and I was going to finish it today and put it out there for ya'll to read. I had about two paragraphs done and now...it is gone.

Gone. Just like that. I have no idea where it went. I looked for it and it is nowhere to be found. Therefore, tonight you get a standby. Just a few words from me about how frustrated it is to lose the beginning of what should have been an awesome post (I'll work on redoing what I lost and such) and to share a few pictures.

First we have my niece, Kaitlynn. Today is the first day that she has been here since we put up our Christmas tree. Alright...so we just put it up yesterday. Either way, while I was here she did a pretty good job of not touching. Every now and then I had to remind her, "no touch.....just look" After a little bit she found a picture of Cassie from last year or the year before. Kaitlynn saw it and said "tas zie". My spelling how she says it is interesting, but all in all it is what she says every time she sees Cassie. I nodded my head and said, "Yes, that is your Cassie". Kaitlynn then went on waving at the picture and trying to get her head as close as possible without touching. She was so excited to see Cassie. And the funniest part was that she did this several times during the day. Well, until Cassie got home from school and she was able to have her Cassie for real. And yes, I do refer to Cassie as 'her Cassie'....because Kaitlynn adores Cassie. She will try to dive out of arms to get to Cassie. She crawls onto Cassie's lap to cuddle or to just hug her. Cassie will sit with Kaitlynn on the floor and read to her or help Kaitlynn stand without holding onto anything, ready to catch her if she starts to waver. She is Kaitlynn's Cassie.

Then there was the chick/penguin that sings and waddles. She loved it and everytime it would stop "singing" she would hand it back to me to start again. This went on for about 30 minutes til I wanted to throw the chick/penguin out the window and moved onto other toys.

Lastly....a picture of my little nephew. (who I got to see tonight) Brady is now 12 days old and oh my God, he is adorable. I'm completely in love with him and would do anything for him. For now that consists of holding, cuddling, trying to keep him from crying, and attempting to change his bottom without getting peed on. And I smile while doing it all.

Wherein I find myself sighing a lot.

2009-12-10T22:43:00.002-06:00

Kalli was a hoot tonight. She was having a small fit because...well because of a lot of things, but I think it is mainly because she is 5, life isn't fair, and she was tired. But that is just my opinion.

On the way home from my parents I had both girls with me and Kalli was STILL crying. (at this point it had been about 10 minutes) Finally she starts talking some.

Kalli: Daddy yelled at me. And it broke my feelings when he yelled at me. And then it makes me sad.
Me: Why did daddy yell at you?
Kalli: Because I kept asking for McDonalds. And he said no.
Me: Well if you didn't keep asking and asking, he probably wouldn't yell at you.
Kalli: But I really want McDonalds.

Background - Andy had gotten the girls ready to go and helped Kalli get her jacket on and boots on. Telling her that we would just carry her snowpants because she didn't need them to get in the car and then into the house.

Kalli: I need my snowpants.
Me: Kalli, you don't really need them. You aren't playing outisde and we were just getting into the car and then straight into the house.
Kalli: But I need them because my legs are going to be cold and turn into ice cubes.

Kalli then told me that she had money in her pocket. Coins. However....

Kalli: When I get out of the car at home I'm going to be cold. And because I'm not wearing snowpants my pants will freeze and break off and then my money will be all over. And my coins will freeze and then people will see them. I don't want anyone to see my money.

Because we aren't worried about anyone seeing our underwear....just our frozen money.

I love the girl, but I find myself sighing a lot with her. There just is no winning. I seriously think she is going to go into acting. Anyone want to pay for her to get into drama classes? She'd be a shoo-in.

Snow covered and hurting

2009-12-09T21:49:00.005-06:00

Starting off...Look, new banner. It isn't quite what I wanted, but I'm working with a new program and I'm not real used to it yet. Therefore, this is what you get for this month.
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Last night, as we were watching tv, local schools were canceled for today. The weather men said that we were going to get 12-14 inches. I rolled my eyes. I've seen this song and dance before. It's the end of the world, we're all gunna die, and in the morning nothing. All that hoarding food, water, and stocking up on flashlight batteries for nothing.

Sure I shoveled the driveway three times yesterday, but it was only like an inch or two each time. The girls played in the snow and were thrilled.

Look, you can still see some of the leaves poking through.

At 4 this morning, Andy got up to shovel, not sure how much he would see when he opened the garage. I told him that if it was as bad as they had said it would be to let me know and I'd be out to help him. I was completely ready to go back to sleep until I received a text from Andy asking me to come help him.

I got dressed, bundled up, and headed outside to aid my hubby. Mind you it was 4 in the morning and I'm not a morning person what-so-ever. See how much I love him? I walked towards the front of the garage and once I saw the snow all I could say was "Holy Crap!" There was over a foot of snow covering the entire driveway.

We worked our way along shoveling the heavy, packy snow watching as other people kept getting stuck all around us. Snow was still coming down and the wind made it twice as fun to shovel because as you just tossed snow off to the side it would blow back at you giving you a cold face full of snow. We finished the one side of the driveway and saw that the snow at the road was closer to two feet deep. There was no way that Andy's little car was going to make it through the snow. And if he did get stuck I figured that he wouldn't be able to get his driver side door open and I wasn't looking forward to having to go push him either. Hello...early morning and deep snow, my name is Paula.

Yes, I am that sad person that at 4 in the morning took pictures.

It is at this time that my wonderful husband decided to stay home and I headed back up to bed. We spent the morning sleeping in, relaxing, and around noon we headed outside with the girls fully bundled up to shovel more. I even duct taped the girls jacket to their gloves and snow pants to boots to keep snow out. It worked...and they stayed warmer.

I duct taped my children today. My day is now complete.

Funny side story... Cassie went crawling into the snow, her hand sunk to the bottom of the snow and her face was inches from top of snow. She just looked at me like, 'now what?'. Kalli went to walk into the snow, got one leg in and it sank. She then called for me because she was stuck and couldn't get out. I did help, once I stopped laughing.

My poor boing boing tree...

There was even more snow to be shoveled now. On the side that we hadn't shoveled the first time there was close to 20 inches. We shoveled to the end of the driveway and then waited. We knew that the evil plow driver would be by and would block us in at some point. It made me want to cry just thinking about it.

In the meantime we headed inside and had hot chocolate, lunch, and relaxed in the warmth for a while. The girls and I were going to start decorating their gingerbread house when we saw the plow go by. Andy went out to start hacking away at the wall at the end of the driveway and after I finished with the girls I headed out to help...again.

Yeah gingerbread house!

Not sure if you've gotten this by now, but I'm done with snow. I think we've gotten enough to last us this month at least. Also, a snow blower now tops our "what to do with our tax money" list. Sad, I know....but after moving that much snow Andy and I are feeling about 80 years old. And this is only the first snow storm of the year. Oy-vey!

I got a hippo for Christmas and the snow is now covering my poor hippo.

We did have one close to casualty today. We didn't notice it until we were headed in for lunch. Just to show how windy it really got. Our grill which was up on our patio/stoop/cement thing had fallen off and was laying in the snow. Hopefully it still works. The lid, shelf, and grates had all fallen out of the grill itself and because it still had a full tank of propane on it, it took Andy and myself to lift it back up onto the porch. After I got a picture, of course.

This leaves me one question. Is hibernating until spring an option? Because I choose that.

The good, the bad, and...other stuff

2009-12-07T23:07:00.006-06:00

Remember me? Yeah, thank you for letting me have some time off after NaBloPoMo. I really needed the break from trying to come up with posts.

I have news to share. Actually 2 pieces of good news and 2 pieces of bad news. Which one to start with is always the hard part. If you start with the good, you have happy news right away but then you end with the bad news and it may just make the good seem not so good. If you start with the bad, you end on a positive, but may not enjoy the good because you are upset about the bad. It's a catch 22.

Good: I have a wonderful idea for my December banner and it is in the works. Should be up tomorrow. Better late then never.

Bad: When I brought the girls out to bus this morning, this is what I saw.

It does make for a good photo shoot opportunity though.

Even though it is gross.

Good: Becky had her baby this past Friday. It was an exhausting and stressful day but it ended with a healthy mommy and a healthy little boy. Brady Thomas came into this world on December 4th at 10:12 in the morning. He weighed in at 7 lbs 11 oz and at a height of 20 inches. And let me tell you...he is a looker!!

Bad: Brady has jaundice. And is in a box, but not like a mime that is stuck in a box. More like a baby that you can't hold and cuddle for a long time kind of box. It actually sucks. And I'm not even the parent that wants to just hold their baby.

However, I have to say that Brady really rocks the look and the glasses make him look like the rock star that he is.

More tomorrow...when hopefully I'll have a banner done and something to write about.

NaBloPoMo - Day 30 (The End)

2009-11-30T22:00:00.004-06:00

Hurray! Hurray! The last day of November...

Yeah I have no clever way to end that statement that would rhyme. However, it is the last day of November and that means that NaBloPoMo is over until next year. And now I feel like hibernating until spring. Thirty days of blogging, in a row, is exhausting.
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Today was a quiet day for the most part. The highlight of my day was early in the day when I was able to spend time with Becky. She is now off from work and waiting for her baby to be born. A while ago, we nicknamed her unborn little boy, 'Sir Fabulous' and after seeing Becky today it doesn't look like Sir Fabulous will be making an appearance for a while. Becky is due this coming Thursday, but I must report that 'Sir Fabulous' seems to be very happily wedged up under her ribs and has no intent of coming out anytime soon. Sorry Becky. (mind you that with pregnancies things can change quickly)

Not only did I get to spend time with Becky, but she also let me touch her belly a bunch (I'm weird like that, I know) and I was able to feel 'Sir Fabulous' moving around. I haven't even seen him yet, but I'm in love already. He is part of Becky and a baby (that I'm positive will be drop dead gorgeous) so how could I not be in love with him?

To put the cherry on top of my happy sundae, Becky let me take belly pictures. Throughout her pregnancy I've taken a bunch of side view pictures with some complaining from Becky. (I keep telling her she will appreciate this pictures later in her life and 'Sir Fabulous' will want to see pictures of his mommy while pregnant with him - just smile darn it!) Now that she is full term, I was wanting to get some belly photos without the shirt in the way. I wasn't sure if she'd go for it, but she let me and I got a few shots that I really liked. And though I'm sure Becky will give me a death glare, I'm going to share one that I especially like.

Becky has the basketball belly that every woman wants when pregnant and no stretch marks. And I personally love her belly. Okay, that sounds way more weird then I meant. Let's just say her belly is beautiful and full of a little boy that I hope to get to meet very soon.

And to give credit to the mommy.... Becky, thank you for sharing with me everything that you have. I've loved every moment that you have shared and I'm ready to help with any back massages you may need. Just call. :)

NaBloPoMo - Day 29

2009-11-29T22:09:00.003-06:00

This afternoon we spent some time at Andy's parents' home having a belated Thanksgiving with them. The girls were able to play with their cousin, Kyra, that they don't get to see as often. And a blast was had...for the most part. Please note that Kyra and Cassie are 6 months apart in age and both in that....for lack of a better word....moody stage. It keeps things interesting. And makes me glad I don't have twins otherwise I'd be dealing with 2 moody girls all the time.

Earlier in the afternoon, Kalli attended a birthday party for one of her school friends. She was so excited about going and it was all she talked about for the past week. I walked her into the party place and watched Kalli run to hug her friend. I then talked with the mom until I could tell that Kalli had settled in and then I left. When I returned for her two hours later, she had her pockets filled with prizes.

Ready for the awesome part? All the kids had gotten tickets that they could trade in for prizes at the end of the party. Kalli informed me that she had used some of her tickets to get things for Cassie as well. Kalli had picked out 2 stampers, 2 other toys, and one slinky as her prizes. She would give one stamper and one of the other toy to Cassie. The slinky, I was told, would be shared by the two of them. I was completely impressed with my girlie. She had thought about her sister without any prompting or reminders. She just did it naturally. And the best part for me was that the mother of the birthday girl mentioned how surprised by Kalli's thoughtfulness at only 5. Yup...that is my girl. And I'll have to think of something to give her to reward her for making her mommy look good too. Ya know, I've taught that girl these things and instilled these values in here. :)

Seems that Andy and I've been doing something right.
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Tomorrow is the last day of NaBloPoMo. Whew! I may seriously take a little bit of time off because...do you have any idea how hard it is to come up with things to write about for 30 days in a row? You should try it. Maybe next year a couple of friends that also blog could join me :) (I'm looking at you Becky and Trina!!)

NaBloPoMo - Day 28

2009-11-28T22:46:00.002-06:00

Tonight Andy and I took Kalli along to Sonic to pick up some food for my parents and our little family. As we were sitting in the drive through, Kalli saw one of the carhops ride past on skates with a tray of food.

Kalli: Mommy, I just saw a girl carrying food while on roller skates.
Me: Yeah...the waitresses here can roller skate to deliver food to vehicles. They even get paid a little extra for using skates.
Kalli: I want to do that.
Me: Well, when you get old enough to get a job you could come here and get a job being a waitress
Kalli: I need to learn to skate. Will you hold my hand?
Me: Yes I will. And did you know that sometimes if you are friendly and nice when you are a waitress you can get tips? Tips are when people give you extra money for doing a good job and you get to keep it.

This was followed by silence. I had stunned her into silence. Seriously...silence.

Me: Do you think that is cool?
Kalli: YES! Can I skate on the carpet when we get home?
Me: Your skates are too little for you know...you need new ones for your birthday.
Kalli: Yeah, because I need to start practicing.

When we got back to my parents' house Kalli told my mom right away about the waitresses on skates, how when she is older she is going to work there, and then she had to play waitress and 'deliver' everyone's food to them while pushing her feet over the kitchen floor as if she was skating.

The girl already has goals.

NaBloPoMo - Day 27

2009-11-27T11:09:00.002-06:00

I know that it is NaBloPoMo and all, but Oh My Goodness...

When they planned having National Blog Posting Month in November, they obviously didn't think about Black Friday. The day when usually people get up super early in the morning (because we are nuts) and go stand out in the cold freezing our extremities off for deals on the beginnings of our Christmas shopping. Sure some of the deals are awesome, but seriously...I sometimes wonder if the having to weave your way through the mobs of people, the numb legs, the lines, the getting hit by carts, the earliness of the start, and did I mention the lines is worth it.

Don't get me wrong. It is fun. I got a real good start on my Christmas shopping and I know that I'll do it again next year. But I've now been up for about 31 hours and knowing that I had to get a post in for today, I'm writing now.

And now, I'm headed to bed. Hopefully I get up in time to post tomorrow. No promises though.

Gotta say though, it would suck to mess up NaBloPoMo with only a few days left.

PS. Standing in lines that don't seem to move really sucks monkey butt. In case you didn't know.

NaBloPoMo - Day 26

2009-11-26T21:16:00.002-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving!!

So it is 10:19 right now and I'm passing time until I can go line up at Toys R Us. Yes, I am one of the nuts that goes out on Black Friday. I didn't use to, but when I quit my job to become a stay at home mom I decided to try it with my mom and brother. And it was sort of fun. Seeing the craziness and trying to get the certain things you want. Watching people calling and recieving cell phone calls asking, "did you get it? Yes, ok...then I'll get the other thing here." (how did they manage before cell phones?) Now mind you, I could do without the freezing your extremities off, can't feel anything anymore, getting trampled by excited people that didn't want to stand in line and freeze with all us nuts, and then of course there are the people that like to ram carts into the back of your ankles. Yup... Black Friday is super.

So right now Tony, Kelli, Andy, and I are sitting at my parents waiting. My mom laid down with the girls to take a couple hour nap and then will be getting up to head out with us. Kelli and I are trying to get our game plan laid out, Tony and Andy are playing XBox, and we're all trying to stay awake until about noon tomorrow when we will completely pass out.

Wish us luck. And maybe if my fingers aren't still frozen tomorrow evening, I'll wake up to post something.

NaBloPoMo - Day 25

2009-11-25T22:40:00.006-06:00

It is the 25th of November. This means two things. First off, it means that I have posted for 25 days in a row without forgetting. Trust me, I am just as shocked as you are. The hardest part is trying to come up with something to write about. Sure things happen during the day but most aren't noteworthy. And then to try to take something more mundane and make it sound more fun and interesting really is not an easy thing to do. Either you end up rambling (like I am now) or people quit before they read the entire thing.

Still there? Cool.

So yes, I'm shocked to have made it this long. Also today marks the first birthday of my littlest niece, Kaitlynn Bella. Or as I like to call her...My Bella Bean. This morning she woke up here at our house, I brought her into bed by me and called Cassie up from downstairs. (Kalli was already laying in my bed...she came in sometime after Andy left for work.) We then all sat on my bed and sang 'Happy Birthday' to her. Kaitlynn just looked around at us probably thinking that we were nuts, but that she still loved us anyhow. She actually hugged each of us as we sat there talking about how she was born one year ago and how hard it was to believe that she has part of our lives for a whole year already. I know that when she was picked up this morning, and went home to her parents, they probably were thinking the same thing.

This morning as we were relaxing (the girls didn't have school) Kaitlynn decided that she really wanted to watch Cassie playing on the computer. For the most part she did very well sitting next to Cassie and watching. However, she also had issues with touching...and let me tell you this little one is a stubborn one. Her parents will have fun when she gets to be a teen.

I was able to get some cute pictures, between stopping her from touching the laptop.

I have no idea what she is doing in the above picture, but she kept doing it. She would lean in real close to the screen staring at it while making her lips in a circle as if she were saying oooo. It was so flipping cute. Yet confusing.

Now let's compare those pictures to those of exactly a year ago when she was born.

What a sweetie. It is hard to remember her that tiny. And to Trina and Tim....thanks again for letting us share in her life.

I'll end this post with this thought.... Only 5 days left to NaBloPoMo. And then I'll be taking a week or two off. I've earned it.

NaBloPoMo - Day 24

2009-11-24T22:18:00.003-06:00

Just call me Betty Crocker. Or June Cleaver. Or Susie Homemaker.

In the last 2 evenings I've made 6 loaves of banana bread, 2 apple pies, 2 dinners, and all while caring for 3 children. Sure Andy helped some...when he wasn't sleeping. The guy is tired, I know, he is working extra hours again because there is work to be done. Yeah for job security. However, trying to bake with a almost one-year old at your feet and hanging on your leg while your almost 9 year old and 5 year old argue about games they've completely made up....it isn't easy.

I'd love to insert a picture here of my handy work, but my camera is dead. And one of the banana bread loaves is already gone. I'm going to try to get most of the other loaves in the freezer so they last a little while longer then a few days. I know I'm probably dreaming, but it is my dream. My mom always told me that if I was going to dream, I might as dream big.

With that, I'm going to head to bed. Not only am I tired, but I also have my niece overnight again tonight. Last night she was up at 2:30 because she missed me???? I just pulled her into my bed and she went right back to sleep. See...she did miss me. Also, tomorrow is her first birthday. And I want to be able to wake up when she does so the girls and I can be the first people to sing Happy Birthday to her. Now, let's top that off with the fact that the girls have no school until next Monday so I need to figure out things to do with them. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

NaBloPoMo - Day 23

2009-11-23T21:31:00.003-06:00

Last night's post was quite long. Tonight, not so much.

I'm tired, I have my niece overnight, and the girl's last day of school for the week is tomorrow. I need sleep.

PS. I have both of the girls' school pictures now. I will be cutting them apart and then dispersing them up to the correct people. Let's see if you make the cut. :)

NaBloPoMo - Day 22

2009-11-22T19:31:00.006-06:00

Friday was Cassie's field trip to some caves that are an hour away. Once we were there we learned that it was a half mile walk to the caves and what was all entailed from there. Cassie's physical therapist and I decided that we would do it, one way or another.

To get into the caves there was 2 short flights of regular stairs and then 1 set of steep stairs, on which everyone had to walk down backwards. Everyone except Cassie who scooted down all of the steps on her bottom. We then entered the first room of the caves. The name of this room made me wonder if Cassie would turn on her heels and crawl back up those stairs. This first room was The Bat Cave. (I kept waiting to meet Batman, but he never showed. I so could have gotten his autograph and then shown Becky's husband Brian) Here we were given lots of information about the caves, how they were formed, what kind of things we can expect to find in the caves (cave spiders-which were the size of a quarter including legs, cave crickets-they don't chirp, small snakes-but they weren't in the caves we would be going through, and of course...bats. The bats would only be in this first room and they are actually hibernating already. Shhh....the bats asleep!

(3 flights of stairs going down to Bat Cave - Batman...is that you?)

Cassie looked back at me every time the guide mentioned another thing that would be down here...and I was sure she would cry or bolt, but she just looked at me and then went back to listening. After listening to the informational talk, the kids got to look around some in this room and I found a couple bats that were hibernating in the crevices. Cassie looked at them with me and was actually totally ok with seeing them. I was impressed.

Heading into the next room we went through a nice large opening...we only had to duck a little bit. Cassie, however, was unsure of it. I got her through though and once we were in the next room she found a rock to sit on and we listened to some information about this room. Then there was a crawl that the kids could do. Think small tunnel you crawl through into another room and then have to turn around and crawl back to main room. Cassie was in no way interested in doing this. And this is where the story really begins. The guide, Stephanie, came over and asked Cassie if she would do it if she (the guide) went with her and lead the way. Cassie thought about it for a little and then said ok. And off she went with her physical therapist's help.

And that was that. From there Cassie did every crawl that there was to do. Cassie had her spot each time, right behind Stephanie and followed by her therapist. Stephanie gave Cassie her flashlight to allow Cassie to see more and therefore feel more comfortable. Some of the crawls were extremely tight and you ended up army crawling or wiggling through them. Most connected one room to the next and there were a couple that you had to go through feet first. I, however, didn't go through any of the crawls. At one point I went a separate way and just met up with them a little later in an area where they came in through a crawl. There was no way I was going to go in those little holes and have to wiggle myself through them. (Hello coffin)

(Cassie coming out of a small crawl...feet first, with Stephanie's help)

The most surprising part was there were a handful of girls that didn't want to go any further at that point and took a ladder out of the caves completely with another adult. A couple of the girls were even crying they were so panicked/scared. And none of them was Cassie.

(Warrior Paint - Cassie was less then thrilled about the badge of making it through the caves...it included putting mud on your face. And no...I didn't do it.)

Once we were out of the caves (had to crawl up 3 ladders - a 7 step one, 10 step one, and 25 rung one) Cassie sat on a bench to cool off and her therapist and I took the snow pants that I had brought along and put on her. Side note: I'm so glad I put snow pants on her. She was FILTHY!

I was so unbelievably proud of Cassie though. She went past her comfort zone and experienced things that normally she wouldn't have. She also was inspirational for some of the other kids and adults there. She showed that she really can do anything and go anywhere if she wants to and works at it. That is MY girl!

Also...pretty proud of myself. I didn't lose it at all, and I didn't get lost or die. Yeah! Hey...I know you would have missed me. Fun Fact: As long as you are moving you are fine, but if you are dead down in the caves, the cave crickets will actually eat you. Just keep moving... moving... moving.
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This morning Andy and I went to help walk dogs out at Happily Ever After animal shelter. I absolutely love going there. The normal walk for most of the dogs is about a half mile. By the time we left today I had walked about 3 miles and didn't even realize just how far I'd walked. Then there are the times that you take 2 dogs at a time and you even get a good stretch in. Dogs don't get the fact that they can't pull you in opposite directions or that crossing over each other and pulling isn't good for the human body. Arms just move like that normally. But you can't blame them. They are so excited to be going for a walk and be getting more loving.
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After walking dogs, we headed to my niece, Kaitlynn's, birthday party. Her birthday isn't until Wednesday, but today we celebrated. She had a blast and did a wonderful job of opening gifts and eating her cake. Sure, she got dirty, but there wasn't any cake left when she was done.

(Such a pretty little one)

( What else is in there???)

(fork? Who needs that?)

NaBloPoMo - Day 21

2009-11-21T23:06:00.002-06:00

So I know that I said tonight I would tell you about Cassie's field trip and share pictures, however I'm very tired today and I have to be up sorta early tomorrow morning. Andy and I are going walking dogs tomorrow morning at the Happily Ever After Shelter. I love going out to the shelter and seeing the dogs. And even though it is hard, I love when they get adopted. Though I have to admit is harder on the girls.

I can say this now because the other morning they were talking about Rosie, the dog that we took care of at the Hiss and Howl event in October. The girls were saying that they want Rosie again next year and I said that Rosie isn't at the shelter anymore. Cassie and Kalli looked at me completely confused. I told them that she was adopted and now has a forever home. This is when the tears starting flowing. I explained that this is a good thing. The reason she found a forever home is because we did such a good job of caring for her that day and showing everyone how nice of a dog she was. And though we can't have a dog right now, we should feel good about being able to help out the dogs that we can. They agreed and then started talking about how they wonder what dog we will be able to have next year. What am I going to do about those girlies?

Anyway, we're headed to bed, but tomorrow I will really work on posting the story and pics. Maybe I'll have pics of dogs at the shelter too. And I most definitely have pictures of a certain little girl's birthday party because this next week, my little niece Kaitlynn (Miss Bella Bean) will be one year old. It is crazy to think she will already be one.

More tomorrow. Night

NaBloPoMo - Day 20

2009-11-20T18:46:00.003-06:00

Hi friends-

I went on the field trip and I made it out of the caves without falling or getting lost. Yeah!

I would like to note though that my cell phone woudn't have done any good because when you underground (at one point 40-50 feet underground) there is no service available. Therefore, if you plan to bury a loved one with a phone in case they aren't really dead or you want to try talking to them in the afterlife, I'll let you know now that it won't work. No service available.

Cassie did wonderful and I'd love to tell you all about it, however my entire body is one big ball of pain from crawling, climbing, laddering, and walking on uneven ground for 4 hours...then riding on a bus for a total of about 2 hours. Stories and pictures will have to wait til tomorrow. I'm sorry.

But the good news is I'm alive and found. Now does anyone have a gun to put me out of my misery?

NaBloPoMo - Day 19

2009-11-19T21:55:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow I am going on a field trip with Cassie. A field trip that will take pretty much the entire day. A field trip to caves. In paperwork that came home today it states:

Dress for the weather and plan on possibly getting dirty in the cave. wear old shoes that are suitable for climbing (have i mentioned that my ankle isn't 100% better yet?)
The temp in the cave is 50 degrees. caves are equipped with steps and tour will be led by knowledgeable guide.
Bring a flashlight with your mane on it. Check the batteries

Earlier this week there was a note that came home stating that if you had a fear of heights or small spaces, you may want to reconsider chaperoning. What the hell am I getting myself into??

I'm not a fan of heights and I've already told Cassie's physical therapist (who is coming along to help me) that if there are any small areas, she is going with Cassie in those areas. The main reason that I'm going is because Cassie is going to need help manipulating herself to even be able to participate. However, I still find myself asking what I'm getting myself into.

I've been told that there are steep stairs, there were rumors about ladders, and then there is the getting dirty going through caves. I'm going to bring my camera...sling it across my body and make sure to keep it buckled shut when not using it. Hopefully I can get some good pictures. And hopefully we make it back in one piece.

So to recap....heights, small spaces, and darkness. Why don't we just shove me in a coffin and hang me from a cliff. Andy's words of advise for me is to make sure to wrap my ankle. Yeah, because that is my biggest worry.

Pray for me!

I'm packing my anti-anxiety meds in my camera case for safe and close keeping.

NaBloPoMo - Day 18

2009-11-18T22:07:00.003-06:00

Today I got the van aligned. What it's aligned with now, I have no idea....in fact I don't know what it was aligned with before either, come to think of it.

According to the guy at the car place the toes were pointed out and therefore causing tires to wear and such. My thought: my car is practicing to be a ballerina. Alright...cool.

However, upon driving it home I found that accelerating was much easier. Which makes me wonder if my gas mileage will be better now too. Can't wait to see.
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Kalli didn't receive any phone calls from anyone today, however she did get a birthday party invite in the mail and also got 3 immunization shots. After dinner I took her for custard because she was such a trooper getting her shots. I mean, really, 3 shots...poor peanut. The first one she didn't cry, the second was on the same arm and she started to crumble a little, and the last one was in the opposite arm and that one had her crying. I hugged her and held her telling her how proud of her I was and that it was all done. I also told her that I know it hurts and she did awesome and that it is okay to cry when you get shots because they do hurt some. Then I told her that because she did so awesome I would take her for custard after supper. Luckily I had ice cream tickets so it didn't even cost anything. I have to say though that the thought of custard stopped the tears pretty quick.

Going back to the birthday invite. The party is on November 29th and she told me several times that she wanted to go. I told her that we had nothing going on that day, so she would be able to go. Down side to this, of course, is that I have to spend money on another gift for a child without knowing likes, dislikes, and what she already owns. I'll try getting some information from her mom when I call to RSVP, but even with some information, it isn't that much easier.

Since it is only the beginning of the year and they've each been invited to one party, I'm a little nervous. I usually spend $15-$20 for each birthday but it still adds up. I'm considering keeping tabs on how many parties they go to throughout the year to see approximately what I spend to have my little girlies be popular-ish.

Also, coming up, the girls will be doing a cheerleading clinic with a local high school. Cassie has done these clinics in the past and loves them. This will be Kalli's first, but she has seen past ones and knowing how she is, I KNOW she will love it. Rough part is that the cost is $20 per child. When it was just Cassie it didn't seem so bad, but for the both of them to attend I'm looking at $40. They do get t-shirts, snacks, and a few other things, but still. $40 for one night. Though they also will perform at halftime for the basketball game so that will be a super picture opportunity, not to mention super cute. What can I say...they had me at picture opportunity.

NaBloPoMo - Day 17

2009-11-17T19:43:00.002-06:00

It has begun. And it scares the living daylights out of me.

Today while we were out for dinner my cell phone rang. I answered and a little girl said, "this is *little girl from Kalli's class*, is Kalli there? I handed the phone across the table to Kalli and said that it's *little girl from your class*.

Kalli took the phone and had about a 5 minute conversation with *little girl from Kalli's class". Andy and I sat staring at each other too dumb founded to really say much. However, I can say that our look to each other sorta said 'What the hey?' Kalli then said good-bye, handed the phone back to me, and went back to eating.

She nonchalantly informed us that she had given *little girl in her class* her phone number during play time.

Huh? Kalli is giving my phone number out to her friends? And they are calling? She is FIVE! Seriously, whoever taught her my number is in big trouble. And today at school she learned our new address. Great! I'm just waiting for little 5 year olds to show up at my door now.

At the beginning of the year she would come home with papers that she had written our number on that she wanted to give to her friends to invite them to her birthday party, but she didn't know our address. Thank goodness. Mind you that her birthday is in May. Six months from now. I haven't even planned Cassie's birthday which is next month.

As we finished our meal, I looked at Andy and said,"And it begins".

I have to say that I'm scared. I mean, I love that she has friends, but seriously...calls already in kindergarten? Crazy.

Add to that fact that Kalli then went on to talk about how she has such a hard time because she wants to play with girl 1 and girl 2 wants her to play with her, but then girl 3 wants to do stuff with her. I suggested that she take turns playing with the girls. She then informed me that she wants to play with them all. Again I give a suggestion...play something with them all together. That doesn't work for Kalli either. Finally I look to Andy and say, "being popular is just so difficult."

I have a feeling, oh who am I kidding? It is not just a feeling. I know that Kalli is going to be challenging as she grows. She wants to already talk on the phone...which we haven't talked to her about yet because we were completely blindsided by this. And I'm not sure what to say. Cassie isn't that interested in talking on the phone yet at almost 9, but Kalli at 5 is....what do you say to that??
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Today I also got two new tires on the van. Tomorrow I am taking the van to get an alignment. Then hopefully all my van issues will be done for say....5 year or so. Here's to hoping!
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Lastly, I would like to point out that today is November 17 and that I have posted everyday. GO ME!

NaBloPoMo - Day 16

2009-11-16T21:23:00.002-06:00

This morning I got the girls got off to school, called my doctor's office while feeding Kaitlynn (who stayed over last night :) and then waited for a call back from the nurse.

I told the nurse what has been going on with my ankle and she said that I really needed to get it evaluated, but that my doctor was booked for the day. She suggested that I go over to the other side of town to the Urgent Care. I said that I would, somewhat grudgingly.

When Becky got here for our Monday morning hang-out I informed her that I had to go across town and we headed out. Note of importance to this story: Becky took her own vehicle so that we could stay on that side of town and then she could just go from there to work.

We drove across town, Becky in her car following me in my van with Kaitlynn in her seat. Here is where the fun starts. I get to the other side of town via the highway and as I am on the off ramp and slowing down I hear a thunk thunk thunk sound. My first though? CRAP!

I turn off of the exit ramp without having to stop...which is a good thing. The thunk thunk thunk continues and I feel the car pulling to the left. I see the light ahead is red and I know that stopping is only going to make going again more difficult. As I turn onto the road the urgent care place is on I'm basically crawling and feeling very glad that I don't have far to go because driving very far like this wouldn't be a good thing.

I park in the first spot I find and get out to look at my tire. Sure enough....completely flat. Thought at that point...something a little stronger then CRAP and then something about just wanting to laugh so I don't cry, I should have stayed home, and what the hey am I gunna do now?

Once seeing the tire, I think Becky understood why I was crawling down the road and also why I had parked on the opposite side of the building from Urgent Care.

After getting my ankle checked out I remembered that through my car insurance I have roadside assistance so I called, made sure I in fact did have roadside assistance and that there would be no cost to me, and then asked them to send help. I did have a spare with me, but who knows if I would have been able to get the tire off or spare on easily. Besides, isn't that what guys are for?? For the record though, I do know how to change a tire.

Here is where things get more fun. The wait time for my hero to ride in on their steed is 55 mintues. Do you remember the fact that I have Kaitlynn with me? The almost one year old little girl? The little girl that likes to move around alot and do things? Yeah. Wanna guess how happy I was when I got this news?

Fortunately, Becky ran to get some food, I fed Kaitlynn and let her crawl around in the back of the van, and it didn't take long for my hero to ride into the parking lot. They found me, put my spare on, and showed me how horrible my tire was. Metal was showing and tonight Andy found that there was also a nail in the tire. Me... I touched the wire thinking it would be more flexible then it was and ended up with a small prick in my finger bleeding. Yeah...I'm good like that.

Tomorrow I'm going to be bringing the van in to have other tires checked and will get 2 new tires. Even more fun!

After reading all that you may or may not remember that I had my ankle looked at today. So it isn't sprained, which I knew as I've had many sprains and I also could put full weight on it. They also don't think anything is broken...and seriously how is it possible to break something when you are just sitting on the floor? So the diagnosis is that I strained the ligaments in my ankle. I am to take it easier for the next few days (which will be fun as I run around getting tires done) and use heat and ibuprofen for pain. I am also suppose to keep using it some so that it doesn't tighten up or the arthritis that I have doesn't get worse. (yes, I am young to have arthritis...I'm special like that. Also...my body hates me) So rest, but keep going, and also...while you are at it, do it with a smile. Another side note: On Friday Cassie has a field trip to tour some caves...this includes steep stairs and I'm chaperoning. And on Sunday I'm going to walk dogs. It'll be fun, but if I rest now I'll be able to walk with no problem by then. Right? Right??

Over all it was a good day, but for a while there I wanted to bury my head in the sand on some nice warm beach and wish everything away. These things only seem to happen when Andy isn't around for them. However, they do make good blogging subjects.

NaBloPoMo - Day 15

2009-11-15T22:12:00.004-06:00

Today was a calmer day and didn't include a lot of running. Which is good for my ankle. Which seems to be a little better tonight...or at least it hasn't made me gasp since earlier today. This is a good sign or at least a step in the right direction.

Something that I didn't mention yesterday, that happened is that my dad and Andy built my shelves in the garage. I had wanted some wooden attached shelving for storing our camping supplies and some of the other odds and ends in the garage almost since we moved here. My dad had extra wood at their place and said that we could use it so we really didn't need to purchase anything. While my mom, Kelli, and I were running around they built my shelves and I'm very happy with how they turned out.

I have yet to get anything put on the shelving and our cars are outside the garage tonight because of the mess inside the garage, but tomorrow I'm hoping to get the garage sorted and back together...cleaner then it was. I have time from 1-ish until the kids get home from school so I should be able to get things straightened. I am planning on going through things as I move them to see if there is anything that I can put to the side for this next year's rummage sale. Anything that I will be keeping will be put on the new shelves and the old shelves will be moved and reused. I already have their new homes picked out.

I'm feeling so organized and on a roll, it's scary.

NaBloPoMo - Day 14

2009-11-14T23:52:00.003-06:00

I have to get better at posting during the daytime hours. Right now it is just before midnight and I should be in bed, but instead I'm posting to keep up with NaBloPoMo.

Let's see...now what to say?

Today I had pretty much a girls' day with my mom and my soon to be sister-in-law, Kelli. We went to a card making workshop and then we went to look for flowers for the wedding. You don't realize how long it takes to look at flowers until you start and are trying to look for flowers that don't look completely fake, but don't cost an arm and a leg. And it doesn't help when you have an idea of what you are looking for, but what you find in those areas doesn't really work out like it should. I, honestly, just like spending time with my mom and Kelli. Since I have gotten my new meds I enjoy being with everyone more and am more easy to be with.

Speaking of my meds...I still have about one break down a month, but we think it may have to do with hormones during that time. All I know is that overall I feel much better. I can do day to day things without feeling completely overwhelmed, I can deal with the girls better without feeling like I'm going to lose it, and I don't feel angry for no reason anymore. On Tuesday I will be seeing my med guy again and I do want to talk a little about my one break down a month.

I know that it is normal to have off days even when you are controlled. (which I have to add my med guy laughs about how I refer to them as off days because he keeps telling me that really my depression is just worse on those days, but I don't like saying it like that because...I may worry people more or...something like that.) But I want to bring up how I am down to having one "breakdown" a month now because I have to say that I get a little worried about myself during these times. During the past two months that I've been on my new meds I feel like the couple "breakdowns" that I've had have been deeper then I use to have. Meaning that, to put it bluntly, I become more deeply depressed and down on myself and it takes longer to dig back out.

When I first went to see my med guy one of his questions was if I heard voices. I told him that I didn't really hear voices, but I do feel like I have two parts of my brain. (stay with me now...) I have the logic part of my brain and that is the part that is there most of the time and is good to me. Then I have this other part that tells me things that aren't nice and when I'm having an off day can get very loud so that the logic part is barely there. It is this second part of my brain that scares me sometimes and that I wish I could just shut off. Med guy told me that that second part was the depression talking.

On Tuesday I plan on telling him that for the most part I'm doing wonderfully...I have energy, which I haven't in I have no idea how long, I also enjoy doing things and seeing people again. However, when I have a "breakdown" I feel like there is no bottom to the pit. I feel like I may never see sun again. I can't hear the logic part of my brain and the other part of my brain is so loud it hurts.

I know that understanding this, if you don't have to deal with depression personally, is extremely difficult. In sharing this, I'm hoping not to scare people...I do that enough to myself...but to try to put into words what depression can feel like. What I have and am experiencing.

There are people out there that don't believe in depression. They say 'just cheer up', 'when you wake up, just say you are going to have a good day', 'you need to eat better', or 'get over it'. It isn't that simple, I and others only wish it was. For me, it is like something in my brain is misfiring or a connection is done wrong. I wish I could just have a simple fix but there is none. Most everyone that is in my life is affected by my depression and I hate that. Noone should have to deal with it except for me.

However, that isn't the way it works. And because of that, I want to thank every single person that has to be part of this. Thank you for trying to understand, for being there, and for not letting me be alone. There are lots of people that have been here for the bad...and now that I'm getting to more of the good...I want to thank everyone that has had to endure the bad with me. I would like to mention the people that have been there the most though. My mom, dad, and my brother. These first three along with Andy got the brunt of my....for lack of a better word...bitchiness. I love the three of you so much. Also, Becky...you've been there for so much and you will never know how much I appreciate you. Lastly, but not least, Andy. He really is my soul mate. He is the only one that has seen me at my lowest and worst. He helps me out from it and still loves me completely. I don't think that I could ask for a more perfect match. He understands what I need and when. I love you, Andy.

Alright. This post went from light-hearted to very serious. Wow.

When I sat down I was just going to write a little about my day, but it just flowed from there. It just wanted to be said, I guess. And I think it is good for me to write it out. Put it out there and stop being worried about what others will think about it or being ashamed of it. Maybe by putting it out there I can help someone else understand more about themselves or someone they know with depression. You never know.

Now my eyes are burning so I'm heading to bed. Night.

NaBloPoMo - Day 13

2009-11-13T23:45:00.002-06:00

I am apologizing ahead of time because honestly this post is going to suck.

You see, it is almost midnight, I'm exhausted, and my ankle is flipping sore. Therefore, I'm posting so it counts for the day, but I am also heading to bed. I'm hoping to get some much needed rest without interruption in middle of the night by two little girls that like to come visit me. Of course, since they are both sleeping over at other peoples' houses tonight, it would be very strange if they did show up in my room tonight in middle of the night.

So with that...Goodnight.

PS...I really am sorry for the sucky post and shortness of it, but seriously...my bed with its pretty flannel sheets are calling me. And so is the bottle of pain meds. With all this calling going on, can you blame me if I can't concentrate enough to post about something better?

NaBloPoMo - Day 12

2009-11-12T22:25:00.003-06:00

Sing it with me.....

Hal-le-lujah. Hal-le-lujah.

As of 10:18 tonight my calendars are complete. This is to say that I have 5 calendars with all the months, numbering, topper, little details, and holidays on them. And I am thrilled!

I can now work on a cover for them, decide who gets which, and put in birthdays. Then once I get the rest of the year's pictures picked out and ordered, I can just attach them and...ta da. They are done.

The relief that this brings is something that I don't even think I can put into words. I feel like I'm ahead of schedule and can breathe a little bit.
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Today I was volunteering at school...pretty much all day. From 9-1140 I was in Kalli's classroom and then I was in the library from 1140-3. I really do like being there and helping out. The teacher told another volunteer that I'm a life savor because I am able to be there so much. And the librarian is thrilled with me because I work hard and get things done correctly yet quickly.

When I went to sign out for the day the secretary looked up and asked me if I had been there all day. I laughed some and said that yes, I had been...but that I had been in two different areas. She just shook her head and told me that there was a cot and blankets in back for the kids when they need to lay down, but if I wanted I could just move in. I'm still thinking about it. I have to say I'd miss my family, but I could live without the whining and fighting that goes on pretty much daily.
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The Body Parts Against Paula (BPAP) is again holding meetings. Today while in Kalli's class, I was sitting on the floor with some of the kids and went to move one of my legs slightly and it caused pain in my ankle. I then moved it back and again there was pain. The rest of the day I was careful, but it continued hurting and anytime I had to bend it there was pain. Ps...you have to bend your ankle anytime you walk. I haven't missed the BPAP meetings and anytime they want to move on, it would be great.

I would like to note that I took socks off and pulled up my pants legs to have Andy look at my ankles side by side and his exact first words were, "wow...it is swollen". Most of the swelling is behind the ankle bone so we are thinking that I must have somehow pulled a tendon or ligament, but I have no idea how.
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One last thing. We are now 12 days into November (just about half way through the month) and I'm still blogging and have posted every day. I know, I'm impressed too. GO ME!

NaBloPoMo - Day 11

2009-11-11T21:35:00.003-06:00

I can honestly say that I'm not a fan of winter and that fall just makes me realize that winter is on its way. I don't like to have to turn heat on, wear those icky bulky jackets, or listen to the wind that whips through our front window.

Have I mentioned that our place was built in 1978 and I'm pretty positive that the windows are all original windows? There is a draft that comes through our front window that makes the blinds move. I am looking into caulking the windows...or duct taping them...or just heating the outside all winter.

But I digress. There is one other thing that I am not enjoying about fall and the coming winter. Chapped hands. Or rather the chapped hands on my children. Every fall it is the same...as soon as the temperature drops we are struggling to remember to use lotion several times throughout the day. My poor little Kalli seems to be more apt to chapping and dry skin. She has always had issues with eczema and the cooler, drier weather just intensifies these issues.

Yesterday evening I helped Kalli put lotion on her hands because they were red with chapping and cracked in a couple areas. It is at this point that the sobbing began. It burned. I tried to keep rubbing in the lotion. I tried to wrap her hands in a towel hopefully calming the burning. Nothing helped. Finally I had an idea and I helped Kalli wash her hands to get the lotion off. The back of her hands were bright red and just looking at them made me cringe...feeling like a horrible parent. I then went in search of a few items around the house.

With an old pair of stretchy gloves, scissors, and the jar of Vaseline at my side, I pulled Kalli next to me on the floor and explained that Vaseline doesn't burn and helps immensely with chapped hands. However, it takes a long time to go into the skin so the gloves would help keep it against her hands instead of rubbing off on things. The scissors? Here is the super mommy part of my story. Kalli sucks her thumb, especially at night, so I cut the thumbs off the gloves.

I coated the back of Kalli's hands with Vaseline and then slid the altered gloves onto her hands. She put her thumb in her mouth to try out the alteration to see if it would work and smiled when it did and her hands weren't burning. We cuddled and I honestly did feel like super mommy at that point.

This morning, when we took the gloves off, her hands were smooth, normal color, and not bothering her at all. The look on her face when she saw her hands was priceless. I was like magic and her hero all wrapped into one.

Now we'll just try to stay on top of lotioning, but if they do get too chapped again we have the gloves put to the side. And I'm sure we will need them again. In the 3 hours that I'm in Kalli's classroom in the morning the kids wash their hands 2-3 times.

I may need to stock up on Vaseline.

(stained, yet useful gloves)

NaBloPoMo - Day 10

2009-11-10T22:14:00.003-06:00

Holy Man!

I left my home at 8:30 this morning to bring the girls to school and volunteer in Kalli's class. I didn't get home this evening until 8:00 pm.

I had my niece for a few hours, did lunch with Becky, did a little shopping, picked my mom up from her house, dropped my niece off, picked the girls up from school, went to meet up with Kelli to order her wedding dress and the girls' dresses for the wedding, fed the kiddos, drove over to where Tony and Kelli are having their wedding/reception so the girls could see it and Kelli could check a few things out, dropped my mom off at home, and then came home with my girlies.

We were all tired. It was a very full day. But it was also fun because I was moving all day.

Tomorrow isn't going to be THAT much better in the morning because I am volunteering in Kalli's classroom and then in the library before I take Cassie to some testing she has to have. Then we will be heading back to school to pick up Kalli before heading home.
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Today we told Cassie that her para-professional (she helps Cassie with bathrooming) at school, Miss Patti, is leaving at the end of this month to go work at another school. Miss Patti has tried to stay with Cassie, but in the world of trying to keep your job to feed your family she was sorta forced to have to leave. I am not sure who will be taking Miss Patti's place, but I know that we will definitely miss her. When we told Cassie she looked like she was going to cry and burried her face in my side. After a bit she looked up and started acting silly. I think it was a laugh or you'll cry type thing. I know that over the next several weeks she will probably go through a range of emotions because when you spend time with someone like Cassie does with Miss Patti, you become close with them. I'm just hoping that whoever takes her place is half as nice as Miss Patti has been.

NaBloPoMo - Day 9

2009-11-09T21:24:00.004-06:00

It is the 9th day of NaBloPoMo, and look at that...I have posted every day. I know...I'm impressed too. I can't say it is easy as there are nights that I sit here staring at the screen wondering what on earth to say. Can I just write "here is your post...night now"? I didn't think so. But some days it is hard. I don't feel like anything is real noteworthy and trying to make something that isn't noteworthy sound interesting isn't exactly easy. Add to that fact that by the time I sit down to write I'm tired and my husband is waiting for me to finish so we can to go bed...it is very hard to work under these conditions. The pressure is almost too much.
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Today I knocked a few things off my "To Do" list. I straightened the living room and kitchen. I sorted, vacuumed, and mowed the lawn. Then my niece was here and I took her for a nice long walk. When we got home she played and I started working on my last calendar and then I ran out of glue dots.

Tonight Andy was nice enough to watch all the kids, and after getting more glue dots, I got all the months, days, holidays, and toppers on each of the calendars. I've now started adding little touches to each month and from there I will be deciding who gets what calendar so that I can put in birthdays where necessary.

Look at me accomplishing things!

NaBloPoMo - Day 8...Hey, I'm doing great!

2009-11-08T22:09:00.002-06:00

I am running a race that never ends. It is called my life.

With Becky's baby shower finished, I thought I could sit and relax for a while. Maybe my "To Do" list would shorten some and make me feel less stressed. Have we talked about all the issues I have with stress? And guilt? No?? That is a story for another time.

Today after visiting at my parents I came home and looked around my home. My first thought...who the hell messed up the place and were we robbed? Then I remembered how I have been busy with shower things, school things, and all those other things. None of which included cleaning and straightening. So I added cleaning and straightening to my "To Do" list.

Then I remembered that I haven't finished all of the calendars that I make for Christmas gifts. I do have pictures picked out for all of the months...minus November and December, of course. However, I don't have my last calendar completed with backgrounds, months, numbers, and holidays. So I added that to my "To Do" list.

Then I also remembered that Christmas is under 2 months away. Which, honestly, scares the crap out of me. To start with I don't have any shopping done or ideas of what to get anyone. And most importantly, Christmas Eve is Cassie's birthday. Her 9th birthday. Do you know what this means? It means that I WILL HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD! And yes, that deserved to be in CAPS and with an exclamation point.

I find it so hard to believe that she will be 9 in just a couple months. I can still remember the day she was born. And how in denial I was that she was coming that night. I didn't want a Christmas baby. And I had already been to the hospital with preterm labor so I didn't want to go again. I remember saying to Andy and my mom that I wasn't going to the hospital again just to go home without the baby outside of my body.

Cassie was born one month premature, yet very healthy. She had trouble with her first few breaths but was ready to go after those. And that pattern has continued to this day. There are moments when she struggles, flounders some, or has trouble with things. She needs some reassurance or a few extra words of encouragement along with a hug and then she is ready to go. Cassie had her first surgery at 2 hours old and her second surgery at 2 days old. And since then several more. She bounces back quickly and for the most part doesn't let things get her down.

Lately, however, a few things have been changing. Cassie is more emotional then her normal. She is crying more easily and has been wanting to cuddle more. She's been giving hugs and kisses more freely and has been wanting to be held. Yet she is becoming more independent too. She wants to do things with friends without Kalli tagging along. She sometimes pushes me away when I try to play with her. She is growing up quickly. In 6 weeks and 4 days Cassie will be 9 years old. And I will be adding to my "To Do" list again. This time adding finding a way to slow down my childrens' aging process.

Let's not even talk about the fact that Cassie literally comes up to just below my shoulders now. And we also won't mention that when I noticed this fact she looked at me and said, "it's ok...you are short." And we also will ignore the fact that it is a good thing that she is so pretty and still innocent because seriously...how rude.

NaBloPoMo - Day 7

2009-11-07T23:04:00.004-06:00

Alright. Not sure how long this will be. I somehow sprained my wrist and typing isn't being friendly with it.

Today was the baby shower for my BFF, Becky. I was up until 12:30 this morning finishing things up and then up again at 7:15am and going. Things went wonderfully at the shower and I think that Becky had a good time and was happy with her party. After the party was over, my mom and I went looking at wedding dresses with my brother's fiance, Kelli. I pretty sure she found 'the dress' and I think that we all had a good time while out having a "girlie day". Alright, I'm going to put pictures up from the shower and call it a night.

Oh...and since I said I would. I measured Becky's belly circumference today. It was for a game, but seriously...it is just fun to know. :) After bringing home the yarn I wrapped around her, I measured it and the number is.....drum roll please...43 inches. Just to point out though that I think this is a wonderful number. I mean hello, she is 8 months pregnant, and that number is full of a beautiful baby boy. Thank you Becky for letting me have my little fun and be part of your day.

(Becky and her beautiful baby belly)

(Diaper Cake decoration)

(Cupcakes...the sticks make them look like rattles. Turned out alright, but not AS good as I wanted them to be. Oh well. People loved the punch I made though :) )

NaBloPoMo - Day 6

2009-11-06T23:01:00.001-06:00

Exhausted. It's late and I'm bushed. More tomorrow.

NaBloPoMo - Day 5...Procratinating and all

2009-11-05T22:09:00.002-06:00

See that chicken running around with it's head cut off? That's no chicken....that is me. My mom was right when she said I'd loose my head if it wasn't attached.

I have so much to do lately that I just want to crawl into my bed and under the blankets. How is that going to help me get things done? I dunno. But at least I'll be warm while I try to ignore the things I should be doing.

Tomorrow instead of doing the things I should be doing around here I'll be volunteering in Kalli's classroom and then working in the library. After which I'll be coming home and moaning about all the things I have to get done. I'm hoping to talk Andy into doing some of them for me, though that is unlikely. I'll be happy if he just keeps me company while I try to accomplish things.

Hey, what can I say. I'm a top class procrastinator. I've worked many years at it and expect to be getting my award and diploma in the mail any day now.

NaBloPoMo - Day 4

2009-11-04T22:23:00.005-06:00

As I said last night...I got a new picture of Becky's belly. Not that anyone else gets as much of a joy of seeing them as I do. But I'm sharer...

I know that I'm crazy, but Becky loves me anyway. Look at that beautiful belly....it's growing. And I love taking pictures of it :)

Today I saw my little Kaitlynn girl. I did a photo shoot with her and of course, got tons of pictures. I'm still working on fixing them up, but I did one up some to share tonight.

I'm bushed though so I'm heading to bed. This post is short, sweet, and still keeps me on track for NaBloPoMo.

NaBloPoMo - Day 3....look at me

2009-11-03T22:01:00.004-06:00

I spent my day today in Kalli's classroom. All day. Ok, so I left to have lunch with my aunt and to put dye in her hair, but then I was right back to help in the classroom again. And let me just say, for the record, that kindergarten teachers deserve much more then they are paid....and I don't even know how much they are paid.

We worked on a craft project for pretty much the entire time from 1:30-3:00. Minus 30 minutes which was used for getting ready and going to recess. It took that long to complete this project. And getting 23 five-six year olds to do a project one step at a time, and to listen, and to stay in their seats, and to not have disagreements with their classmates, and to not smear their purple glue stick all over the table and their hands, and to not hoard all the colored paper....it's a SUPER FUN TIME.

Let me just note that the child with the glue stick issue and the hoarder are the same child. Said child was trying to hide about 20 slips of paper in pencil box. Said child also never finished project (which was making a turkey) because child completely chopped turkey body into chunks and hid dismembered turkey body in pencil box. I can see issues in this child's future.

I enjoyed helping out though and am really getting to know the kids.

I do, however, have to say that I was doing well until I got out of the classroom and into the quiet. At that point, a massive throbbing headache set in. I'm considering buying Kalli's teacher a humongous bottle of Advil for Christmas.
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Tomorrow is a late start day for the girls which means that they start an hour later then normal. Now if only I could convince Cassie to sleep in a little bit. I'm going to be bringing the girls into school so that I can help in the library for an hour and then I will be going to meet my Becky for lunch and hopefully remembering to bring my camera to get another belly picture.

This coming weekend is Becky's Baby Shower and I'm so excited to be part of giving her this party to celebrate her wonderfulness. (I know, Becky, you are gagging right now) In all seriousness though, I couldn't be happier to be part of her pregnancy and shower. And I can't wait to see what a beautiful little boy she has.

And hello...look at that beautiful belly from last week!

NaBloPoMo - Day 2 and still going

2009-11-02T21:36:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, during part of the Packer/Viking game, Andy headed outside to escape the frustration of the game. He grabbed the rake and started raking the leaves in our yard to the curb. To say that he under estimated the job at hand would be a complete understatement. Our curb looks as though an entire forest dropped their leaves right there.

Today when the girls arrived home from school and got off the bus, I decided to have a little fun with them. I picked Kalli up and set her down in middle of the pile of leaves. She quickly got up, brushed her self off, and started swatting at the leaves at the edges of the pile. At seeing all of this, Cassie asked if she could play in the leaves and I told her that she could until it was time to leave. (We were heading to my parents for dinner tonight...Wherein I cooked and brought the food to them. They love the meal, I love the cooking, and we all enjoy getting together during the week.) Cassie was walking along side the pile when suddenly I grabbed her and pushed her into the leaves. While holding her so she didn't fall too hard. She laughed and moved more into the pile and began covering the bottom half of her body with leaves. Cassie then created little arm rests for her arms and a 'pillow' for her head to lean back on.

Kalli continued to swat at the leaves. I was able to get Kalli into the leaves for a picture, but as soon as I was finished she got out of Dodge.

As we were getting ready to leave, I helped Cassie out of the leaves and was brushing her off when she informed me that there was a leave down her shirt. I looked and sure enough there was one so I picked it out. She then told me that there was still one in her shirt, but it felt like it was between her skin and bra. I checked and sure enough a leave had made its way into her bra. The poor girl is already having issues with bras. I'm telling you...being a female is hard.

Bringing you all up to date.

2009-11-01T22:03:00.003-06:00

Yes, I'm still here. And yes, I've been a slacker. But...I'm only one person and between volunteering, children, and trying to keep things going here at home I feel like I've had no time and by the time I get to sit down here at the computer I'm absolutely exhausted.

Halloween has come and gone. We had a few Halloween events that we attended and then the girls also did the regular trick-or-treating. We only went about a block and a half and then the girls were cold and according to me they had plenty of candy so it worked out well. I really love that my children like dressing up, but don't want to go for blocks and blocks and blocks. I'm sure this will change as they get older but for now I'm enjoying it.

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As I believe I mentioned earlier, we also attended the Hiss and Howl Halloween Hullabaloo and had a dog for the day last weekend. The dog we got to care for was a female shih-tzu mix, named Rosie. She was absolutely wonderful and extremely easy to care for. She wasn't bothered by Cassie's crutches or Kalli running around. Rosie also had no issue with all the other dogs or cats that were there. A very laid back dog indeed.

Let's add to that the fact that the girls loved her and it made for a wonderful day. Cassie and Kalli took turns holding her leash and petting her. They also did a wonderful job of understanding that we couldn't keep her. At the end of the day they said their good-byes, hugged Rosie, and asked me if we could get another dog next year to have for the day and dress up. I said that we could probably do that.
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This past week the girls had a 'Fall Fest' at their school that we attended. There were tons of games at which you could win candy, Kalli won two times at the cake walk, and there was even an inflatable obstacle course. Looking at the course I told Cassie that she probably wouldn't be able to do it because there was a wall that you had to climb. I should know better then to doubt her though...when she became upset, I told her that she could try. To Andy and my amazement, she made it through somewhat easily. Twice. By the end of her second time she was exhausted, but the girls both went home with very good memories of their new school.

The highlight of the night by far was the limo ride. Yes, I said limo ride. For 3 tickets, which would equal $.75, kids could go on a 5 minute limo ride. When we got towards the front of the line, I asked the girls if they wanted me to come along or if they wanted to go alone. (there was a high-schooler and a couple other adults along to keep everyone safe.) Almost before I could get the question out of my mouth, Kalli was saying "alone". And they did. I helped Cassie in and out of the limo and took pictures when they arrived back and were getting out of the vehicle. So...as a 5 and 8 year old, my girlies had their first limo ride...and they LOVED it!

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So....I think that brings me up to date. And, to make all my loyal readers happy, I am going to try doing NaBloPoMo again this year. NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) is every November and the challenge is to post everyday for the 30 days of November.

So far, I'm doing well.

October 25, 2009

2009-10-25T22:00:00.002-05:00

Alright...it is 10:00 and I just got a chance to sit down. Only Andy is heading to bed because he has to get up at 3:30 tomorrow morning, so I want to go cuddle for a bit and talk before he is out and asleep.

Therefore, I'll post tomorrow...hopefully during the day. Things that I'll post about will include the Hiss and Howl Halloween Hullabaloo we were at along with the dog we had for the day, the Gamblers game we went to, and... You'll just have to read to find out. :)

October 23, 2009

2009-10-23T20:06:00.003-05:00

Ever get into a week...or month...that just seem crazy busy? You feel like you are just constantly running and doing things, yet your 'to do' list doesn't seem to get much shorter and at the end of each day you hit this wall and suddenly your brain quits and forces you to head to bed before it forgets where bed is and how to walk up a set of stairs? That kind of sums up my life lately. Let's just look at the past few days.

Wednesday: Volunteered at school from the start of the day until 11:40. Lunch with my Becky, and then I watched my niece from 2-4. Then it was supper, dealing with the kids (which is an everyday thing, but still...some days exhausting) and getting them off to bed, and trying to get some things ready for the following day as Kalli was suppose to have a field trip.
Thursday: Volunteer at school from start of day until 2 (Kalli's classroom until 11:40 and then Library until 2) The field trip was canceled which totally bummed out the kids, but it allowed me more time in the library and therefore I learned that I now have more 'jobs'...I can now check books in and out, shelf books, and shelf read if I run out of crafty stuff to do. :) At 2, Trina dropped off Kaitlynn by me at school and I had her overnight.
Friday (today): After getting the girls off to school, and feeding Kaitlynn breakfast, I headed to my mom's to pick her up. We had a blast going to the DMV, the store for a quick trip, and then to my 11:00 appointment. From there I dropped my mom back at home, dropped Kaitlynn off to her mommy, and then went to school to volunteer in the library til the end of the school day.

Yes, I am thinking about just putting a cot at the school and living there. It has something to do with the fact that I love helping and that I also like the fact that there are real adults there all day that I can talk to and it gets me out of cleaning all day. :)

Tomorrow doesn't look much better either, actually. We are helping out at an event called the 'Hiss and Howl Halloween Hullabaloo' (try saying that even twice fast) that is put on by the no-kill shelter that Andy and I go to every now and then to walk dogs, Happily Ever After. Andy, the girls, and I have to be at the event starting at 11:30 and then until it is over at 5. Of course the most fun part is that we will have a dog for a day...which I'm sure is a mistake because I'll be hearing about it for the next several days from the girls. The dog that will be 'ours' is a shih-tzu named Rosie. Trust me, there will be pictures in the next post.

No promises that the post will be up tomorrow though as after we are finished at the Hullabaloo we are pretty much heading right over to the Gamblers Hockey game. We got very reasonable tickets through the girls' school and it is Family Night which means $1 hot dogs and sodas. Andy figures that by the time we get home it will be about 10pm and we will send the girls right to bed. And I'm sure I'll follow not far behind them.

I love this go, go, go that I've been doing and keeping myself nice and busy, but it also feels crazy like because I have to keep my planner at hand so I know where I'm going next.
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Drum roll please.....

Tonight was a HUGE night in our little family. We went out to dinner and then to walk around the mall. While there we stopped in several places to look at stuff and anytime we passed a jewelry store I would ask Cassie if she wanted to get her ears pierced...something I have been asking her since Kalli got her ears pierced over a year ago. Cassie's answer is always no.

Tonight though I pushed a little harder showing her earrings that she could get and asked why she didn't want them. It all comes down to being scared and worried about the pain. I told her that it only hurt for a little bit and that being scared about something unknown is normal. Then came the part that had me hurrying to get papers signed and things paid for. Cassie asked me if I would hold her hand. I said that I would and she replied with "ok then...I'll do it"

She picked out the earrings that she wanted since I told her that it was completely her decision. I showed her the ones that she could pick from (the higher grade ones so they don't contain nickle...not sure if she is/will be, but I'm allergic to nickle) I pointed out some green ones since that is her favorite color, but she pointed to a pair that were a very pretty blue and in the shape of a flower. Upon looking closer, I saw that they were actually her birthstone (December) with a diamond-looking stone in the middle.

As they got everything set up, her ears cleaned, and the placement dots there were tears, but she kept taking nice deep breaths and holding a bear they gave her to hold. When they were ready, I squatted down in front of her and held her arms telling her to take a deep breath and they counted and pierced both at the same time. She cried and said that they hurt/itched. They showed her a mirror and she said that they were pretty through tears. After her bravery she definitely deserved custard so we headed to Culvers.

By the time we got there she was all good and I think the ice cream really helped. Seriously...custard fixes most everything.

Once we were home for the evening she played as if nothing had happened and while brushing her teeth she kept checking her ears out in the mirror. And the sweetest part?? When I was tucking the girls into bed tonight, Cassie sat up holding her blankie under her chin and said with a smile that went from ear to ear, I'm pretty. "yes you are", I responded. She always has been beautiful, but starting tonight, I think that she will feel more girlie pretty. And to a tween...that is important.